bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №18924
 06.08.2009
Fuck, I’m watching the news. Report on the Ural River. They say it will dry out in five years.
Then my uncle comes in and I say to him, “Ural dries out.” he looks at the telecast and says "Maybe Chapaeva will find..."

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №18923
 06.08.2009
x - I tried not even to move when she joked on my knees, or next to me))
U - O_O
x – she slept
X is a good trick.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18922
 06.08.2009
XHHH: Russified the Opera, Fuck... "Management of Cucumbers"!

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №18921
 06.08.2009
What fucking life is this?
In some centuries, a spice rushed home, poured milk, went like a decent man to a comp. I printed a message in an aske, a spice laid next to it.Here a dog runs up to a chair, takes a spice and runs away, as long as I picked the spice from the dog, a cat drank all the milk.

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №18920
 06.08.2009
And you tried calling the mediator Gandon in your hearts, then proving to him that Gandon is not blasphemous, Gandon is a defender.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №18919
 06.08.2009
by LOL! I told him on radio. The militia carried out a raid in a supermarket and under the pretext that "you have cheese fuzzy" seized all available Dor-Blu.

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №18918
 06.08.2009
Author of Quotes:
– – – – –
I recently worked as a conductor of passenger wagons... What unrestricted power I experienced when a passenger approaches you by pressing his knees, pressing out his smile and so complainingly pronouncing: “Toilet?”?" And I said to him:"SANZONA!"
– – – – –
You are stupid.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №18917
 06.08.2009
XXX is:
And in sperm, by the way, there are still vitamins, I read.

Sperm also includes: fructose, water, vitamin C, zinc, citric acid, enzymes, proteins, phosphate and hydrocarbonate.

The cake can be baked ?

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №18916
 06.08.2009
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Fuck the hunt.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Every day is stronger.

[ + 75 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №18915
 06.08.2009
I read Faust:

He seems to be a generous king.
The enthusiasm is legal.
To all whom he pleases:
He gives them what he can.
He becomes richer,
The more he sacrifices in the distribution.

It reminds me of nothing. ?
P.S Join the classic!

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №18914
 06.08.2009
I talk to my grandmother:
B: Grandson, tell me who taught you this?and :(
I am : Mom.and :)
B: Who is she?
My mom :D
B: She is fucking...

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №18913
 06.08.2009
Your Mikhalkov, we in Siberia, do not need a naker.
and...
We were sent to Siberia only the best that could overshadow the Tsar. And this "Queen" let somewhere on the Column shine!
and...
It seems like he needs it on the corner!!! to
It’s better to leave him in Moscow...you don’t get used to it.

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №18912
 06.08.2009
I was witnessing the scene today:
Running guy 25 years old "hop" on the appearance of...fast so runs..I get out of the building, behind me a man 45 years old in glasses - the image of "intelligence botan".
The guy takes him off with his shoulder and runs on slowing the speed, turns around and says so with a call in the voice: "What are you looking at? Let’s go here"
The man flegmatically repairs the glasses at his nose and hits the guy with his fist in the face. He falls his whole face in blood.
Man: "I’m sorry, but try to be more careful next time" and just as flegmatically go on.
I tried not to swim so wide.)

This is Russia)

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №18911
 06.08.2009
With Kilimanjaro:
My husband two years ago changed with the ugly overgrown lady, from her brought me gardenerellosis, which is very poorly treated for some reason.

------------
Probably because it is not a sexually transmitted disease and the husband could not bring it. And it arises from medicinal abortions and (or) frequent change of sexual partners (women’s microflora begins to revolt). The woman herself does not know how to burn.)

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №18910
 06.08.2009
A timid girl convinces a leading programmer to go out to work on the weekend:
Okay, I have to! And in general, in the word "team" there is no "I"!

The programmer, thinking looking out the window:
But there is "man"

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №18909
 06.08.2009
I just came up with the name of the soc. Tagged with: "Ventakle" xD

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №18908
 06.08.2009
At the door to the toilet:
Go out, shit, I want to!
... (with a compressed voice) and I...

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №18907
 06.08.2009
You should go to a psychiatrist once in your life and you will prove your normality for the rest of your life!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №18906
 06.08.2009
Memories of my childhood.
I was three or four years. My mom, as usual, took me from kindergarten, but a little later from the service group and so she was unable to talk to the teacher. I have assumed the responsibility to provide the information.
and Mom! Tomorrow I have to bring in the garden of calas - these are such beautiful white
The flowers. If I don’t bring me, they won’t let me into the garden!
Maybe you’ve confused something, maybe it’s not necessary?
He said, “I won’t let any cal in the garden.”
My caring mother searched all morning for flowers, very expensive at that time of year, taking into account the salary of the cashier, but still found it. We went to the garden: I am happy with the calams, and my mother is evil, with a clear attitude to argue with teachers.
The situation resolved by itself when we joined the group, my mom just laughed so much that she couldn’t say anything. All the children, like grandparents, came with cockroaches in flashcards, and I was alone, like a fool, with flowers!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №18905
 06.08.2009
Today I saw an advertisement: "I sell a printer" - written by hand.
Something is wrong here...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna