bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16143
 29.04.2009
Friends of computer fans!! to

You, installing the screw to the acquaintance and acquaintance of the acquaintances on the recommendation of those (type - I have a boy acquainted, reasoning in computers... here is his number, call him, he will do everything to you") BE GRATITUDE!!! to

Also heaven like I in the recent past cheap and do everything for funny money or in the best case for beer?!? to

Stop doing fingers! A month ago, for the sake of interest, I found out how much computer workers take for reinstallation in firms!
Installation XP - 1000, and in some popped offices - 2000!!! to

Do as I do - 500 per wheel, 250 per package of programs (winamp, video player, office, virtual machine, codecs, etc.) with adjustments (crackers, Russification). Verified - the flow of customers after the price increase has not exhausted, but increased! They have no place to go - we have cheaper!! to

Do not sell your skills in excess!! to

Admines, miss the quote, sorry guys who for a bottle of beer are digging with foreign iron

With respect, Mr Ice

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16142
 29.04.2009
The female logic.

Writing a friend

I have a daughter born!!! to
I: Congratulations to you!! How much?
XH: 3500 52cm

Written by a girl

A girl has been born!
I: How much?
Tagged: one

5 and 4

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №16141
 29.04.2009
xxx: throw this fool in order not to wash dishes, put on them a cellophane bag before eating, then remove them and throw them into the trash, and that’s all! No need to wash the dish.
YYY: Listen, he’s a genius!1 where can I buy a lot of pockets?

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №16140
 29.04.2009
If you are given toilet paper, you are embarrassed to send it directly.
You are fucking.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №16139
 29.04.2009
The story of a military adviser
It was in the late 1970s – early 1980s. I was a counselor.
The Angolan Armed Forces. I went to the state, with local people.
Communicated in Portuguese: as-nik, the former colony of Portugal.
Having dropped the colonizers, the Angolan people moved confidently toward
socialism under the leadership of the ruling MPLA party, which was hindered by internal
supported by the American imperialists and the Chinese
The Hegemonists.
The army of Angola is a fairy tale, with such an army we would have managed with the Germans in
forty the first. The testimony to this is one of the episodes below.
At the head of the unit, whose headquarters I headed, was an Angolan officer.
He invented the pseudonym Che Guevara. He is just like Che Guevara.
I am on Patrice Lumumba. Once our headquarters developed a military operation. Well,
As Leo Tolstoy wrote in War and Peace, “Erste Colonne marches...
The columns of the march... the columns of the march...” The result should
It was a complete surrounding and defeat of the rebels.
Everything is understandable? I ask Che Guevara.
I understand, I understand.
With God!
The unit went on to perform the task. The Soviet Military
We look forward to winning relations. What there! We see in a few hours.
Our brave army fleeing from the battlefield. In front of Che Guevara.
In my eyes is horror.
What happened? I ask.
They are shooting there!
The curtain.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №16138
 29.04.2009
My uncle, as far as I remember, works as a shoemaker.
As far as I can remember, I constantly quipped him on the subject of "The shoe without the shoe."
The shoe.”
I grew up and became a gynecologist.
The Uncle is now...

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №16137
 29.04.2009
The last message in the branch about tea mushrooms. and.
Denis Evgeniev
01.08.2007, 18:42
The tea fungus in our family encountered a ridiculous fate. When there was not enough alcohol to snack, it was cut into pieces like a cake and eaten.

O_O

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №16136
 29.04.2009
A dacha is a place where a plant becomes a tree, a seed becomes a vegetable, and a man becomes a cancer.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №16135
 28.04.2009
From a letter to the local cable TV operator: What shit?! Where do you share the channel "Culture?and "

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №16134
 28.04.2009
E. People, where is our COD server?
Yyy: A. Comrade apparently left and forgot to start it.
Zzzz: This is a fool!
You’ve made 7 mistakes in the word "Pidora’s" :)

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16133
 28.04.2009
For the fight against Somali pirates to the coast of eastern Africa sent a ship equipped by Stephen Seagal

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №16132
 28.04.2009
Fuck it is shameful:
Yesterday I was tried to sit in a taxi in the hollow of a buchy near a cabbage, and I stood up and shouted: "Go naked! I will not go there!and "
And near the house tried to pull out of the car, and I stood up and shouted: "Go naked! I will not get out of here!and "

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №16131
 28.04.2009
The Wife: Hi
Gogen: Do you want a wire?
Wife: I can
Gogen: I slowly remove the livery from you
I don’t wear hoodies.
Gogen: I take off your trousers and start licking you
My eggs fall out and beat you in the forehead.
Gogen: Oh, you are a guy?? to
Wife : yes )))
Shit, change the nick!! to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №16130
 28.04.2009
As you know, 1 calorie is the amount of energy spent on heating 1 gram of water per 1 degree Celsius.

Thus, if you drink a liter of cold beer at a temperature of 4 degrees Celsius, your body will spend the following amount of energy to heat it to body temperature:
1000 grams of X (37C-4C) = 1000 x 33 = 33000 calories.

If you consider that the energy value of the liter of beer itself is about 10,000 calories, then you get 23 thousand. Calories of pure weight loss, which is equivalent to 30 minutes of jogging.

Drink more cold beer to lose weight.

Bring it to the best - let everyone be happy)))))

[ + 57 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16129
 28.04.2009
7 August 2009 at 4 a.m. 5 minutes and 6 seconds on the clock can be observed 04-05-06 07-08-09 :))) similar will be repeated only in 3009

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №16128
 28.04.2009
- I have recently felt like a bear in a couple from the cartoon "The Bear in the fog". Remember that?
Why is?
"Well, I walk in front of the board, I tell something, I tell something, I look in the eyes of the students, and it's time for the voice to say, 'The bear said everything, said it, said it... And the eggs sat and thought that she was there, the horse in the fog...

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №16127
 28.04.2009
Maxwell: This moderator at the wedding ended up bustling.
CrystalSoul: E... tamada?

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №16126
 28.04.2009
Library of Moskov.
"On an island in the middle of an underground lake
Live old Gam-gam, a slick monster..."
"The Beast" by изд. Kiev in 1991
Tolkien is not as scary as his translation.

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №16125
 28.04.2009
The most unpleasant system message for the network administrator:
"An unknown error occurred: contact your network administrator".

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №16124
 28.04.2009
Red: I was crazy.
I’m standing here, in front of the mirror, shaking my eyebrows.
Red: and he is so thin with the voice "Naasia, we want to live! Do not kill us! Do not shake us out!" and everything in this spirit (((
Red: and fucking, it’s a pity that they got it (((
Red to Red (

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna