A man is driving in heavy traffic behind a truck. In every red
The driver of the truck jumped out of the cabin and scattered.
by the cargo compartment. Then he jumps back and goes. The first
A few kilometers later, he went out again.
along with the driver.
Sorry, but what are you doing?
The one who does not lose the rhythm reports:
I have a load of 6 tons. The body contains 8 tons of cannabis.
I need to have at least 2 tons flying all the time, or not.
will endure.
Translation from http://www.native-english.ru/anecdotes

Nothing ruins the impression of a movie in the cinema as a full bladder.

Conversation with a woman via SMS:
I: I love you!
She: I love you even more!
I: Prove it
It is tonight)
I: Just come up with something not banal, or sex is yesterday.
What kind of sex? That is all nonsense! This is the guarantee of family happiness!

You will not argue.

Automatic Kalashnikov - manufactured in Russia, operates around the world, works with any banking systems. Getting cash has never been so easy.

V-Line

The people! Please make a patent on the phrase house 3! In order not to use anywhere... call it the company, I don’t know at all.

Freelancer is fun.
I woke up, wore my pants and was at work.

Savoire vivre (16:09:36 13/04/2009)
Do you have bags at home too?! to
Petrovich_zx (16:12:57 13/04/2009)
What is a package?
Savoire vivre (16:16:04 13/04/2009)
This is kind of joke.
Petrovich_zx (16:16:41 13/04/2009)
Not a panic.
Savoire vivre (16:18:01 13/04/2009)
Do you have a large bag at home with a lot of small bags?
Petrovich_zx (16:18:32 13/04/2009)
What are you chasing? :)
Savoire vivre (16:19:07 13/04/2009)
No, for example, my grandmother collects all the bags, washes them, dries them, they then smell awful.
Savoire vivre (16:19:21 13/04/2009)
Since I was a kid, I hated packaging :)

How did you understand the color of my hair just by reading what I am writing????????????? to

Today on a couple on the Safety of Life activity (BJD), a conversation about how long a person can live without food, well, the predecessor says that about a month, and if a prepared person, then up to 100 days. And asking a question to the audience, and how much you students can live without food, the guy's answer from the community: " Third year!" The reaction of the audience is not meaningful to describe))

OlegA
Did you look at the pictures yesterday?
DrAlexSimpson
Yesterday I had a violin concert in my head with an orchestra under the direction of A.Y. There is such a very talented conductor.

I replaced the standard sound of the error in the wire with the phrase "your arms from your ass grow", which I had on the comp for a long time.
A month later, I removed the video from the camera. I’m used to the sound. My father comes and takes the camera to look. While taking, the USB cable accidentally hits, which is why the screw begins to fight. The father quietly leaves the room.

The company Rotary Rocket was engaged in the development of the Roton reusable spacecraft of very original design. It was supposed to take off like a rocket and land with a helicopter screw.
They made the ashes.

only our girl after inviting the guy into the apartment, kissed like a cock, split him and herself, got a conjunctivitis from him, and as soon as he started to the main, say, "Sorry, I know too little of you to have sex with you."

From the website dedicated to iPhones. The following lines are added to the Apple Software License Agreement:
You also agree not to use these products for purposes prohibited by U.S. law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or manufacture of nuclear, chemical, biological weapons or missiles.
The comments:
I suggest everyone to opt out of 8.1 and write a letter to Apple that we will not use 8.1.1 until they change this item =)
I just wanted to build a pair or three of the rockets and here's this stuff :(
No one knows how to synchronize a rocket with tuna?
"People, do not control a ballistic missile with an accelerometer, it is still wet and terribly swallowing. Better switch to manual mode.
People help me! If you bring rockets to California, the apple-phone goes off. I don’t know what to do straight...

And then we came up with a name for hard German porn.
YYY: And what was the best option? and :)
xxx: "Three in the throat, not counting the dog"!

<Jeedo> Hello you! What do you do?
<Indidge> mmm, nothing...
<Jeedo> Can I come to you and we fuck?and ;)
<Indidge> Wait... you probably want to talk to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes, please... :-/

The wise administration of the community decided that the university has IT-intensive. To save electricity in the toilets, lighting with reaction to movement! To calmly deal with your need, you need to dance in the process. I am afraid of the fate of the girls.

"As prejudiced and as one-sided
We are used to asking questions:
A narrow eye is from the east.
If it is from the West, it means Pindos,
The Ukrainian is a damaging seed.
The Russians are nonsensical prophets.
Where a Jew is, there is a shop.
Where the bandit - hundred gram rings,
A car in a jeep, with the minister.
Ballerina is in the spaghetti.
Instead of water, a canister.
The Arabs have harems in bed.
Whoever is innocent at the age of sixteen goes to the garbage.
Whoever ended with distinction - Dawn,
In every woman we see a donor.
Every macho can’t do without a sauna.
The musician is a drug addict and pedrillist.
The engineer is a hungry fool.
The boss has changed, his wife has changed.
The boss laughs - deadly smoked,
Emigrant, coward and traitor
You stay in a lie,
There is no scripture,
Agitating - sp@zdil leaflets
He built a house and killed a man.
There is a bubble - you break any one,
Sleeping with your wife is a sexual harassment.
Otherwise it would be another...
Expand your consciousness, brothers.
Change your judgments, Spinoza
In order not to fight,
Where will the whisper and tears be counted..."

According to news reports, they repeated about the subway transmission and told how shitty it was in Moscow to the subway.
In Lianozovo, the girl hanged and left a note: tired of getting up early. :D

I have a girlfriend, her name is Blue. And I have a graduate, he has the name Kazyavko.

The Real Conversation:

I: Well, today the graduate, Kozyavka, brought the drawings, in general, I sent him.
She : who?? to
I am a cashier. Name such
She is :o! I get married to him and make a double surname! Snooping the cage!! to

I fell...