On the train Moscow-Peter travels a crowd of schoolchildren aged 10 from the sports school. Girl O asks a sacramental question: are our Moscow money operating in Peter?

From ASI...

Who did you want to be when you were a child?
Chess: Hey... and the fucker knows who... and what?
Igor: Luckily, though whose dreams come true... you have become a fuck knows who

Tolerance is when the ass is red from anger, and the head smiles and sneezes. (from the sperm)

The window is shut like usual. I hear a man’s voice screaming:
The girl...? Oh man...? Fuck... The Earthman?! to

Humor does not contain.

The respected!
I am a little embarrassed by the raids on House 2 and the protection of the TNT channel ("which gave us a lot of good programs" - quote approximately).
Take a look at the rest of the repertoire of this wonderful company.
The Comedy Club? Have you ever heard any good jokes? Well, maybe one of twenty is worthy of attention. The rest is primitive deception. Approximately as funny as the word "pipiska".
My rush? This is a stupid primitivism. The same outgoing topics, the feeling of laughing only because everyone else is laughing too. A chain reaction? How can you laugh at the same thing for a few years?! to
I think of the killing league and other shit from the same series is not even worth talking: a program in which the debils participate, taken for the debils.
Look at the American-like series. What is funny about them? This is a complete foolishness.

TNT is a channel specifically for you to degrade! Dumb people are much easier to manage, think about it.
I hope there are more people who understand me.

X: And Andrew, what is a mummy?
Y: Well, it’s when you come home, and there’s empty beers everywhere, and it’s on the couch.
X: What is it?
Tagged: mummy

I work in technical support. A call from the client. The woman with a nervous voice reports that they have finished the toner in the cartridge. Please name the cabinet number, the model of the printer and its inventory number. The woman begins to cry and throws the phone. The Monday...

But the most unbeatable joke to date is considered to be the BBC television broadcast the story in the morning of the first April day of 1957. "In Switzerland this year there is an unprecedented spaghetti harvest, - said the host of the news program, - Of course, in this country the harvest of spaghetti does not reach such wide industrial scales as in Italy. Many have probably seen photographs of the grand plantations in the Po Valley. In Switzerland, it is, rather, a family business...” The story was accompanied by documentaries: a family of Swiss farmers friendshiply tear pasta from the trees and put it in baskets. "Those who love this dish know: there is nothing better than real spaghetti from their own garden," the host concluded, and... a whirlwind of calls crashed on the BBC. Thousands of people were asked to send pastries. Particularly curious expressed surprise that pasta grows vertically, not horizontally. There were also confusing ones: what, then, we were mistaken, thinking that pasta is made of flour? But most were interested in the question: "How to grow spaghetti trees on your site?" The TV channel responded, “Plant a spaghetti in a bowl of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”

The Prehistory –
The subscriber asked for modem settings for Linux, he was sent detailed explanations, which followed such a response -
Dear Irene As long as you responded (despite "in the course of the day")
For a long time, I:
1) Write your woods under this modem (naturally, apologizing)
(But later I learned that there is wood under the line, but they won’t.
work until you update the firmware, out of your locks)
2) I want to inform you that not all Linux machines have an interface
type of wheel (X windows) (moreover, for servers on which your modem
considered as a reserve channel in case of failure, it is generally
and unwanted)
3) Consequently, I found a way to make your modem make money under
linux without an interface shell, by hard petting and anal
Massage of your modem.
4)) Despite delays and obviously unnecessary instructions, I want to notify
If you knew what you were writing about, and did it on your own.
all screenshots and perceived (understood) all the terms that you
I will marry you immediately if:

A: I will like you.
b) You are free
c) You are under 30 years old
d) Not a lesbian (although we can discuss this)
Not exactly Gozilla.
e) You have a sense of humor

Write if what :) With respect, offended by the speed of service and
Otherwise the client.

(I don’t need to post this on top, I’m serious :) )

Dad hid $5,000 from his mother behind the refrigerator. And I escaped a hamster, and from this pack of paper I pulled a nest.
How many days after that the hamster still lived?
He emigrated under the witness protection program - was promptly given to acquaintances :)

Does not contain humor.
and...
Yesterday I was with my girlfriend at her friend's pioneering. I was about to leave at about 10 o’clock in the evening by the subway, and here under the window I saw for the first time in my eyes how the thieves pissed a person and picked up all sorts of hard-earned valuables. Two wicked men of one guy were whispering, he spotted all over the courtyard. We cried out from the window that they were fucking upset and that they were fucking, so they just pulled him out of the transformator bucket so we couldn’t see. Running one against two is not the smartest decision. Despite the protests of the girlfriend we were at home, I caused mentholes. Good guys, they arrived quickly. Indeed, I did not understand the final at all... there was no one there on the march and judging by the conversation of ments with someone from the windows, who saw this guy in the car that was loaded and taken away. I may have heard it, because it is nonsense. But the essence of the story is that I called 112 and then I was called back out of the mouth to clarify where exactly what was going on. And once they called me, it turns out that I was the only one who caused the menta from all the crazy apartment building. So come into the mess tonight. No one has even moved to help, not to run out, but even to call out... the people, your mother, are enough to be so indifferent! It can happen to anyone!

An empty glass of weight is always on the height.

Not so long ago, Effendi supervised a grandfather on duty. Bite there.
It was offended, but what else is not important. Extremely old age
The patient is reliably attached to the bed.
The postoperative period. This is a matter of what, cappellines-shampouses,
Antibiotics and bandages in the hospital will do - no question. This is normal.
To take care of and activate a lying old man, one separated.
The nurse does not have time. And the doctor can’t, so there’s no time. here
either relatives need loving and attentive or nurses. at least
and attentive. Generally speaking, the grandfather lies in the room of Effendi, quietly praying. The day
Two are lying, three are lying. Effendi tells him so, and Edak explains that
I would have to call the kids... Grandpa to the vacation room – the kids are all busy, they have their own.
The affairs. You are here and do it with me. Honestly my grandfather.
Osman Budulaich thought, pretended, and resorted to the old method.
He comes to his grandfather in the morning and says:
- Listen, daddy, I think here... I am a Bejenez, I have 8 dais and 2 dais.
We are living united. You are such an idyllic savior.
and jumping. I will now call Sobees, he will design your apartment. and my
Buddha is taking care of you! If you die, we will be Muslims.
Traditionally buried!
... it is worth saying that in two hours a crowd of relatives, extremely
Worried about his grandmother’s health, he broke into the department. Zava
It took a lot of effort to get half of them out. The second half is hardly
The grandfather did not threaten, beginning at the same time to massage him, to feed him,
Washing and washing. The patient quickly recovered.
And Fendi knows laughing at her beard:
The billions! The Quarter Question is the Dwight Dwight of Meditsynsky Progress!

One boy, the only son of a wealthy, painful father, became
Planning for the future (when the father dies)
He decided that it was time for him to get married - the farm would be big. by
At a meeting of shareholders, he stumbled away from a beautiful girl and stumbled onto her.
“Lady, I may seem like an ordinary man, but I’m a future man.
65 million inheritors “$” The girl was interested and took his card.
Three days later, she became his maid.
Women are better at financial planning than men.

Translated by Len

I watched the bulb here, after the movie in the toilet listened to a fantastic monologue. Imagine a "clear guy" with a characteristic "accent" saying to the phone:
- Fuck, jerk, next to me were sitting two dwarfs, who, of course, did not even read Gogol - eblans underdeveloped...
I almost died. Even we are counted!

Life is shit, weather is shit.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX - and standing for the second day, finally tortured.
yyy - bone, can help you - lower the pressure )))
xxx - What, Len, you can help me, you are like an economist, not a sanitary engineer.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

If you are after the words: "Tree Macintosh"—convulsively trying to imagine in your unhealthy head a tree system — this is a diagnosis.

in the MMORPG chat
Hghggggg: Zorg, are you gay?
Zorg Auto Respondent: hghgggg soon!

From Mazda 3 Forum

Why don’t you make joysticks to drive a car?
He got to the parking lot, went out, got the controller (type Playstation3), parked the car and went. No need for parking, looking back.
Or for the night left the car near the house, at night it rained, in the morning the fucking approaches it. And so he pulled out of the loose from the pulp and the nibble.
It can be used as an anti-course: it was not possible to climb between trees.
And why do not the bumper rubber?

yyy: A good idea, before the hijackers just scanned the signal, sat down and stole. And so they will be out of the house, sitting on the couch stealing.
And if the machine is completely made of rubber, it will be possible to knock on each other like in a bitter park and fly away with laughter.

When will you tell me these three promised words?! to
He said, “I love you!
She (in an astonished tone): I actually meant "I brought a report", but okay
......
We hold your fists for you! and luck. XD is