bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №144924
 18.09.2017
Little today argued that the robot rabbit from "Well, wait!" is a reference to the second Terminator, because he also recovered from the pit.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144923
 18.09.2017
ZZZ is a story.

We gathered some ten omiches for a prayer stand against the film of Matilda. They stand, they ban, the posters, therefore, they hold.
In response, they received twenty omiches with a prayer stand for Matilda's film. Go away, say, princes, do not disgrace the Orthodox Church with your sectarianism.
But the princes did not give up, three more dozen of theirs were picked up, posters were printed, faces were terrible, the cheeks were blown up, the eyebrows were rotated - shorter than the former, shorter, stood.
Thought their opponents, and their friends pulled, and with the crosses, and with the chorugvias - beauty, not standing, the whole city is walking and admiring!
But the opponents of the dangerous cinema did not surrender, from the area of the reserve called, the icon on the banner printed a five-meter-long, built into a column and went to the square to stand, so stand as no one ever stood, so that from the standing of such the earth trembled.

But there fell upon them from the sky a huge iron and splashed them all, for no prayer standing will ever be stronger than the Prayer Desant to the Glory of God-Emperor.

The end.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144922
 18.09.2017
GT, "The Pirate Bay Tested Miner as an Alternative to Banners"
xxx: I wonder how will the search engines deal with this? Certainly they will not be happy if they remove their advertising and replace it with a miner.
YYY: Well, DVD manufacturers were also not very pleased when Video On Demand services appeared. But who asked them?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №144921
 18.09.2017
My MCH once told a story from his childhood. He was very upset that his mother had forced him to take the garbage and, after reading the smart books again, said that in democratic families this issue is resolved by voting. My mother said there was no problem. But if they are two, then for a possible decision by a majority, the vote will have to involve the cat Kuzyu. Kuzma does not know how to speak, his voice will be spoken by his representative, his mother. Thus, with 2 votes against 1, the duty to take the garbage remains with the son. The son was upset why the cat’s interests were represented by the mother. The answer was simple: she feeds him, clears the bowl behind him, formally caring for the incapable. My match was forced to agree, but hid a false plan. The next week he killed the cat and fed it. At the end of the week, he victoriously stated that he called for a re-voting, but this time for a revision of the custody of the cat. My mother was not without reservation, but she agreed. And by votes of 2 against 1 all the following week (like all subsequent ones), the son was released from the "waste duty."
This is how real democracy works. I defended my rights in a fair vote.
Thus e. Have you exchanged your garbage for cat care? Even though I think it is less difficult to take away garbage than to clean a bowl after a cat.
No, I mean... That’s fucking!
Don’t worry, that’s how real democracy works.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №144920
 18.09.2017
We fly in the airplane, we descend.
The neighbor wakes the sleeping crochet with a cry: “Let me get up!” Fire in the engine. The earth is approaching! We will all die!!and "
Probably the programmers.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №144919
 18.09.2017
Photo where the signs "Coffee", "Fensters" and "Monuments" are adjacent.

Comments: Almost by "Twelve Chairs". People were born to eat and drink, change windows and go to a different world.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144918
 18.09.2017
Call for a Taxi (Taxi)
My driver has not moved from his seat for 15 minutes.
He seems to be Uber.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144917
 18.09.2017
(from discussion of the settlement of the end of World War II on the Pacific TVD)

The Japanese at that moment are trying to chase out the shit and stick in the literal sense of the word (well, the roots of the resin pine. of juicy strawberries).
The militia is armed with bars and sticks - up to powdered silicon mosquitoes from water pipes and alabards inclusive. The main anti-tank weapon is a bamboo stick with a fool on one end and a anti-tank mine on the other. According to the results of the application, the fool completely burns his head and hands. The tank, if very (not) lucky - something.
The American tanks themselves at this point are protected by a 4+ rescue throw, in the sense, boards, clutch wire, and long nails folded everywhere, as if the screenwriters suddenly passed by the club of rollers and decided to spray their 40K weights with sculpted series.
This is enough!
Goblins... the Japanese jump on them with palms with swords in an attempt to get into the lookout on the march and kill someone.
They succeed!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144916
 18.09.2017
11:25 How are you?
11:26 A: Sleeping out
11:26 A: When is it tomorrow?
11:29 What is it?
11:29 A: How is it?* is
11:30 N: When your phone starts looking for Sarah Connor - tell me

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №144915
 18.09.2017
This was at the time when the "leafy" oil was not made from palm oil.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №144914
 18.09.2017
With Bigler:
How did you break the Xerox? What did you do with him?
And we multiplied on it.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144913
 18.09.2017
So, after removing all the settings, the phone started to work more smoothly, hurra!
WOW WOW!
The apps, of course, still fly out, but they do it quickly!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №144912
 18.09.2017
Military exercises "West-2017"

According to the scenario of the exercises, three non-existent aggressor countries are attacking Belarus. These are Weishnouria, Wessbaria and Lubenia.

They invented...

Weishnouria, Wessbaria and Lubenia attacked Bulbenia.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №144911
 18.09.2017
The rescue service of the city of Worms in southwestern Germany received a call with a request for help. The genitals of the German athlete, who trained in one of the gyms of the city, stuck in a 2.5-kilogram "blind" for a barrel.

The merit of the athlete remained tight sports equipment for more than 3 hours.

The rescuers who arrived at the scene of the incident had to split the metal sports projectile with the help of a special tool.

Fuck you are not an ananas rings.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №144910
 18.09.2017
>> This is a very dangerous precedent. If this is really profitable, the browser will soon hang on half of the sites, even if only a few tabs are open. This will lead to the fact that browsers will limit the load on the processor on the part of the active page scripts at the level of percentage units, and the background - at the level of tenths or even hundreds of percent, depending on how many of them are open. This in turn will lead to the transition from scripts to some alternative technologies, such as those that cannot be used for mining. In general, a lot of inconvenience for users and a lot of unnecessary work for programmers.

It would be great if browsers had settings to limit the use of CPU and RAM for pages even unrelatively miners, just so that site owners start thinking about the performance of their work.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №144909
 18.09.2017
That’s because there was nowhere to watch. If there were smartphones at the time, we would also watch.
yyy: In those years there were programmable calculators, there was still a toy "Wow weather", where the wolf caught eggs. The cassette players were expensive exotics for the masters =(
XXX is OK! If not a major - watched the babies' ass... With the maffon - the babies watched you... beauty, not life! and :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №144908
 18.09.2017
News "Elizabeth Peskov removed her Instagram after a plagiarism scandal"

As life shows, you can’t categorically refuse anything new, but it’s worth introducing these innovations not overwhelmingly everywhere and for everyone, but gradually and thoughtfully, leaving everything useful and established itself before – it’s your thoughts, yes. There are no questions to the author. To the editor – a lot", – writes Silantyeva.

YYY: Their own thoughts? well well.
yyy: The cited passage almost literally repeats Ambridge’s speech to Hogwarts at the beginning of the Fifth Potter.
yyy: The aforementioned speech is presented in the book as an example of meaninglessness/water and an illustration of the illegal and unnecessary interference of the Ministry of Magic in school affairs.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №144907
 18.09.2017
Neradence: As I walked to the stop, a small black cat ran across the road and ran away from a large black cat.
The big black cat was big and couldn’t get away with me. He struck me in the legs, then became very upset, struck my shoe with his leg and tried to bite him.
Neradence: What do you think is worth waiting for something good from this day?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №144906
 17.09.2017
And also on your conscience, little girl, will be what I googled today, who is a bald from Brothers.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №144905
 17.09.2017
Do you need programmers there?
YYY: Of course they are needed. You have to learn language.
I know a lot of languages.
YYY: Jewish I meant
XXX: I understand
XXX: What is it?

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