They were sitting in an international company. A solitary Arab journalist, judging by her stories, was actively looking for a husband at the time. A colleague, who knew foreign languages poorly enough, literally looked into her mouth, catching every word in the hope of understanding what it was about. Naturally, it was regarded by others as a sign of the companion’s willingness to fall under her spells. Humor jokes began, reduced to explaining to our friend the fact that without marriage he will not succeed, and to conclude that he will have to accept Islam and break up with a certain part of his anatomy. The fellow thought for a moment and said:
Roses are cut to last longer.

The concession

I saw in the bus. In the front seat, the seats are occupied by the mothers with the babies, and one guy is sitting. The girl enters, the boy gives up, the girl sits down. Let us go further. At the next stop, a middle-aged lady enters, the girl is inferior to her, the people smile. The next stop. A woman of pre-retirement age. The lady, looking at the children, gives up her seat. People are already looking forward to the next stop. An old grandmother enters, an elderly woman bounces up and plants her. People try not to roast. It would seem that the story has reached a logical conclusion... But no, the next comes a disabled man with a trunk, and the grandmother, despite resistance, sits him down with the words “I still want to go out soon!”
I went out for my grandmother, so I don't know who came next, but I bet on pregnancy.

I explain:

Explain to me, dear girls/women/old women, why have I never been asked to give up my seat in transportation for almost forty years, even though I don’t look like an aggressive fighter or a sick man? Will the crown fall? Or do decent girls not start the conversation first? Or is it not that you need to sit? And when you give up a place on your own initiative, they sit down, although not always. They never asked for.

- No matter how you look, your essence is not written on your forehead, and it is not a hunt for anyone to take the risk of rushing to the ham. Moreover, the educated person is most likely to offer himself, and once he sits quietly - the chance of gross rejection increases. Therefore, many girls / women / grandmothers prefer to stand for half an hour, if not quite hard, than to test your aggressiveness. The nerves are more expensive.

I understood why to move furniture, refrigerator, etc. at night. We brought Shinjuku home.

I somehow doubt at all that at least a girl will pay attention to a guy driving in public transport, even sitting, even standing, no matter what knight he was there.
= is
Are you honestly convinced that girls only pay attention to guys in personal cars? This is not an attempt to resume a joke about mercanticals but a sincere confidence? I sympathize...

jen006: I knew that driving skills need to beined, but I didn't think it was so hard: until two days of driving, the spider had time to wrap the wheel and handle.)

YYY: "Everyone is pissing and pissing about Russia bad things..."—a good beginning of romance. It is performed on the motif of Vertinsky "I don’t know why and who needs it..."

ZZZ: the second line in the "White Punch" also stands out well

A commissioner comes to us for construction. It causes fairies.
Q: How many percent of the work has been done on the facade insulation?
P: 0 percent
N: What fucking thing? What are you busy!? to
P: The forest was set.
Q: What floor are you placed?
A: Up to the third.
N: And why not wager!? to
Q: You have not built up yet.
Everything you need to know about our building :)

Tolstokiska: Just two months of caring for the baby, and at my mother's request to give her a nipple, I brought her to my mother's mouth and patiently waited for her to take her.

Prakash Bezbarukh, a resident of India, decided that for the perfect photo he must get into the banned zone of the zoo.
When a lion approached him, he literally put his hand in his mouth. Soon, a tiger joined the lion and helped the lion bite the man’s hand. This is called coherent command work.
The man died from the received wounds. The lion and the tiger did not die. After all, what are they to blame for?

The only thing you can really be sure of in Russia is the results of the elections.

I was 35 years old. I am standing on the street, waiting for someone. Nearby is a mother with a two-year-old boy. Suddenly the little girl crashes and runs to me shouting:
and Dad! and Dad!
His mother stopped him with the words:
This is not my dad, this is my uncle.
and a little silent.
Do not scare my uncle.

We are demanding to remove the movie Matilda from the rental!
Why is?
He insults the feelings of believers.
Do not let them look!
They cannot. Interesting is!

This is:

It is funny to watch cats invent heroic stories about their favorite cats.

Why invent them? I have, for example, cats about a week ago in the night in the apartment caught a flying mouse - flying, looking, in a fork... How I think, how many nerves they saved my wife, and therefore me, tenderness straight to them wakes up... Also defenders!

The trouble is not in fools and roads, but in the fact that millions are attached to relics, but to the commandments of the one.

I spoke a few days ago with a friend on the topic of “theft concepts” in our country. He told me a story that happened to him about 5 years ago.



It stands in a local small provincial town store. A few people in turn. He feels like someone is digging in his back pocket. He turned and managed to catch the guy who pulled his phone out. He sharply struck the thief on the floor and broke his hand. It looked like an 18-year-old guy. My friend tells the saleswoman to call the police, and then the thief will say, “Please, I didn’t know! I did not want! Please let go! I am not specifically! I will go home! Well please!”



My friend quietly listens to it and asks again to call the police. The seller depended. After 30 seconds, a conversation begins between everyone (there were two other men and one woman in the store):

Let him go. I was wrong once. Not in jail, the seller started talking, and then they picked up everything.

Leave the boy, why break his life?

Yes let go. The first time. He will immediately go to prison. He is very young.



And so on, my friend is waiting in full swing. At that moment a girl came into the store. He asked what had happened and then called the police. The only adequate person among the others present. Then the saleswoman calls her employer:

- Ivan Ivanovich (name invented), come here, here is DRAKA.



Ivan Ivanovich arrives faster than the police (minutes in 4). He sees my friend sitting on a guy. Without a scandal, he clarifies what happened. He then asks the seller why she didn’t call the police. Something went wrong (“Well, how about,” “Why right away”). After a short time, law enforcement officials come and take the guy along with my friend. All the buyers dropped before they knew what was going on. Fortunately, there was a camera in the store.

The smell of a real man

From my own experience, I will say that all the smelly people from close surroundings are mostly men, but a couple of women also met, as it turned out, have virtually no sense of smell. I started a conversation on the subject of hygiene (the soul of the poet did not withstand) - as a result of wildly surprised eyes, people did not suspect what discomfort they were causing to others. And by the way, after such a revelation, people began to do something. One friend even went to the doctor about this, healed the fungus on his legs finally.

Django: Megaphone as imperial China - only eunuchs remained from the technicians. Actually now the first line of the TP consists of the TP.

Assistance with orientation in the area. Sometimes in the early 2000s, young people of high-definition approached me, trying to find out where you have a station in Moscow. It took about five minutes to find out that they were interested in bus stations, and then an impasse: to convey to them the idea that "here we have more than one, and from the nearest bus stop without transfers you can't get to any I couldn't. Well though, I decided that I was stupid and myself not oriented here, and left behind.

The stress.
A smartphone has just fallen from the 12th floor. The grass below. I went searching. I lost the key to my apartment. The Shadow. I had a lamp with me. I did not find a hero. I addressed the young men. I called, the phone was found. There is no key. Or to smoke. Half an hour. There is no key. Other guys are coming. One of my friends found it right away. Not where I was looking for.
This is Monday 14th.