bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14963
 06.03.2009
The first Russian combat robot armed with a large water pistol
Pens: Let us hope that all the armies of the world will soon switch to water pistols and condom bombs with water.
Merkushin: If so, the next World War will be quite fun
Somadhy: Yes they will be regular! Winter World War, Summer World War... The winter can be arranged with snow.
Vass: They will be held every four years, and states will fight for the right to fight on their territory.
The dreams, the dreams...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14962
 06.03.2009
Letter to the helpdesk on the topic of glucose monitor :DDDD

Ceres, no matter what, some kind of shit...
In the text, the letters are partially fat, then pale.
On top of the rainbow screen. (I am not the only one who sees it.)

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №14961
 06.03.2009
I have a nostalgia for IT dreams. On the boy in love, who (thinking how many years ago) on the dates enthusiastically tweeted: "Imagine, you have invented such a device, a manipulator "mouse", you will not have to knock the arrows up and down, but just bring it to the cursor, press the button, and any window opens! Well, window, this is such a Windows system, that is, windows, much cooler than DOS, I will tell you! If I have a good computer, I will install it for myself!”
I imagined a rodent jumping through the windows and admired my beloved—how clever he is, though a little rare. After all, everyone knows that the movies are on the TV, the photos are on the film, the music is in the magnetophone, and how, say, all this can fit on some mysterious “laser disks”?? to
Now he sits with his back to me behind his notepad, which even the assu doesn’t want to put on, “to not distract me from work.” Our son is drawing something in the AutoCAD, only I, the unworking, read the tower. I suffer from incomprehensible nostalgia. And the hell, I'll turn off my computer, I'll get somehow in the field of sight of this hard-earned-out and say that I love him, I love him, I love him, even stronger than in my youth, and so I want to talk about something else together ;)

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14960
 06.03.2009
Gravis (23:48:51 3/03/2009)
I have a liver alone.
Vega (23:49:13 3/03/2009)
A miserable man!!! to

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №14959
 06.03.2009
I go to the school dining room and I hear the boxer’s cry:
That’s the one I’m missing all the time.
It turned out that a man bought 2 servings of strawberries before buriing in them three cocklets.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14958
 06.03.2009
All young people who dream of a girl-odmine, or a girl computer scientist. I tell you as an experienced person, it’s a shit. Baba-odmin is the same as male-odmin, only with breasts. Do you think you could meet yourself?
Even if she cares about her appearance, there will be a terrible mess in your life in the apartment, if you don’t get used to cleaning yourself and behind her. Unknown cultures in its bowl or in a few, until you, looking at any movie "Flies", do not run to wash it. Eat you will also be a peelmen, because she does not know how to cook as you do. She will come late and drunk, because she was asked after work to go to someone to change the whirlpool for a beer. In the evening, when you call her to bed for sex, she will answer, "Now cute, this level is good, a little left" and in the morning you will watch her go to work without spamming. In the evening of the same day, she will come from work to fall and sleep, what sex is there, and the next day it will be repeated with the "one level."
She knew the jokes of Basha before you read them. You can only beat it if you prepare food. In a couple of years of such a life, all the cute capsule bondies will cause you admiration and affection almost to tears.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14957
 06.03.2009
[ 31 ] added 2009-02-28 21:19
I look here everyone remembers something from childhood, maybe someone will remember how gathered in a group in a person 5-6, with the help of a dumbel (such as they are called) made a hole in the asphalt, filled there the sulfur from the light bulbs, put the dumbel back, and on it top of the brick thrown, and watched a fairy spectacle in the form of pieces of asphalt spreading in all directions?

So the roads in the country are deadly... And how many fools will go again to try what is written on the tower?
These are two eternal problems in one person.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №14956
 06.03.2009
currency
A girl must know three things: eyes, banks, and hysteria.
Drake
Aha
Drake
and Lip

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14955
 06.03.2009
111: I sell a welding machine. who may need
222: sink by soap mark, year / output, capacity etc
Chapter 11: What About Soap?? to
222: well, fucking on the internet, on the mail
What a shame on the internet!! I have high-tech electricity devices and lights in my phone.
222: Well you, Oleg, the darkness!
What a darkness I am, I have a light.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №14954
 06.03.2009
Today took the concord after the Pope, there is a question: "Andrei Malakhov on the porphesis"Papa wrote PIZDABOL, and on the cells it did not fit, but the Father man is very responsible, he accommodated :)

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14953
 06.03.2009
I broke the tavern, I put a topic on the forum, say who can repair it! A SMS comes in an hour.
I quote :
"Hello to you! My tavern was repaired by +7********** Sasha. Work satisfactory, quality and inexpensive. You will call, tell from Lena on Black Nisan"
Dear man, I will call you.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №14952
 06.03.2009
In order for the pure truth not to be broken, it is often wrapped into a lie.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №14951
 06.03.2009
http://users.livejournal.com/elcy_/91382.html

A man arrives at an orange plantation. Looking at –
The police car was frightened, approached closer - I realized that the criminal
Nothing happened to him, just the police.
Sleeping in the car. The man realized that if he tried to drive them out,
Then they simply drink him... If he calls to complain to the police...
Then they drink and those who go and those who come.
The rabbit scratched and invented - called the police and said that they, apparently,
Everywhere the car was stolen and a police officer was kidnapped - type, he sees that in
Someone is struggling with the car, but is afraid to approach.
The car on the rack to call - and the truth - does not respond.
Police cars arrived from all the surrounding cities.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №14950
 06.03.2009
Public transportation is prohibited from displaying advertisements
of sound. Millions of TV viewers are waiting for the sound in advertising to be banned.
and television. Especially hoping for the introduction of no-sound advertising
The radio listeners.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №14949
 06.03.2009
of GYYYYYYYY.
He sent "Legend Destroyers" from the Discovery Channel myths about an exploding balloon in an office chair and a toilet stretched with a film. Let’s see :)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14948
 06.03.2009
Instructions for the semi-fabricate:
"Fried until ready, with a tightly closed cover, uninterrupted mixing"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №14947
 06.03.2009
50226 (saved 2009-03-04 at 02:40)
To me alone, people adding at the end of the quotes odmin, huyasse, cat, shredder o_0 seem idiots?
___________________________________________________
You put them in the middle, right?and ;)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14946
 06.03.2009
I put yesterday in my mom's washing machine jeans, and on them on the label the inscription:"wipe back"
I show my mom, and she says:"what is not clear here.It is written, before washing, turn out";

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №14945
 06.03.2009
In my office they play cards...passes. The mechanic beats the driver, the engineer beats the mechanic. Gender is a cozy map.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №14944
 06.03.2009
Oh you... with your ears in your ears, it’s so hard to hit the wall.
I can hear the brain swirling... there... inside.

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