bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №13405
 04.01.2009
A cake is better than a cake, I don’t know what.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №13404
 04.01.2009
http://aniskin1968.livejournal.com/32289.html



Our women...it’s our all!

As it turned out, they can not only stop horses, but also a whole horse.

Discos in full swing!

There is a strong woman living in our neighborhood who played volleyball for the national team.

The Soviet Union!

Not long ago, the team, as well as the Union, but the hit remained.

It was yesterday at the disco.

Catherine realized that her cell phone was removed. The cable was new, very

The dear.

The five men who stood next to her, in a couple of seconds... lay down!! to

In this somewhat unusual but effective way, she attracted to herself.

The general attention.

At the door, the only way out is:

Until I get my phone, nobody will get out of here. Turn off the light.

for a few minutes!

When the light was turned on, the tube was on the floor.

The disco continued.

These are the women!! Harsh but fair!! to

http://antyaskin.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4&start=120

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №13403
 04.01.2009
The Chinese philosopher Chang Ying Yu said: “He who is active during the day,

He is as strong as a bull, as strong as a bee, as a horse, and comes home in the evening.

tired like a dog, should consult with a veterinarian, there is

It is likely that he is a donkey.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №13402
 04.01.2009
When you argue with your wife, you call her.
My rabbit is mine.
XXX is so cute?
Rabbits eat their shit when they are hungry. She is a zoologist, she knows.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №13401
 04.01.2009
Television announces the news:
One of the first countries to celebrate the New Year this year was Australia.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №13400
 03.01.2009
Before the sex. I lie on my back. The girl above. He leaned to my ear and whispered gently:

Sell a light...
OO OO

And then it turned out that she said "Truth I am easy?"...

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №13399
 03.01.2009
Serial suicide ‎ (31.12.2008 12:49):
Fuck to!
What a fucking city.
Serial suicide ‎ (31.12.2008 12:50):
Everybody came to the exam.
The 31st number
Serial suicide ‎ (31.12.2008 12:51):
Prep Buddha calls the old man * AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! A new year, I will give you a new year!!* is

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №13398
 03.01.2009
Well, how many Dalbaebs during the celebration of the NG went to the line to see the same unsuccessful Dalbaebs?)))

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13397
 03.01.2009
How many more dogs during the president’s New Year’s address raised their hands and cried out: "Translate, Bear!!!"?? to

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №13396
 03.01.2009
So many people suffer from the question: "Where to store money? Dollars and Euros"
Nippon you comrades!
29th December: price for cucumbers = 180 rubles / kg
31st December: price for cucumbers = 250 rubles / kg
Keep your savings in cakes!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №13395
 03.01.2009
So the mind gained that the neck can no longer withstand the head.

by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №13394
 03.01.2009
<<Russian and Chinese are brothers for centuries. >>

(Communist propaganda of Mao's time)



He was witnessed at the end of June. A friend at a wedding.



It happened in New York, and the New York summer is still a natural phenomenon!

High humidity due to the ocean makes the hot air not just

Dry and suffocating. At the usual 35-40 degrees a simple walk

It becomes torture. Within five minutes, the clothes are wet.

Before the thunderstorm, like in a steam. There are such days every summer.

Enough enough. The wedding day was no exception.



Another important detail: my friend’s bride is a Chinese woman.



I, the groom’s parents and two other witnesses came to the house of the future maid.

to take the bride, the maid and the testator, and all the witnesses of the bride,

The whole crowd went to the park to take a picture. Sitting in the car with

the air conditioners, wait for the hour X. Finally, the signal has arrived -

We are advancing. In front of the house of the parents of the bride we are met by a crowd.

Chinese witnesses and offer the bridegroom to undergo standard tests

before he can see his chosen wife.



Test 1: While one of us is squeezing, the others should drink.

Apple juice from baby bottles. For our people, as

As a rule, with the army hardening-training, pressing is just pleasant.

Memories of youth. But it is very damaged by a temperature below 40.

Incredible spirits, sliced shirts, butterflies and smokings. The Married

heroically challenged to squeeze while we drink the juice, so that the bride could see,

What a wonderful man God sent her.



Have you ever tried drinking from a baby’s bottle through a nipple? One one

In childhood, what about conscious age? Juice hardly

It drops, our cheeks are red from dullness, the bridegroom runs out. to

To help the bridegroom, the osky had to bite over and pull in the ugly

warm apple liquid, saving the bridegroom from further torture.



The second test is to put 3 airballs on each. Murders and so on.

Red, there is nothing to lose.



The third test is the apogee of history: nothing, the bridegroom must sing.

A song about love, when the bride forgets everything and rushes into his heart.

and embrace. In our case, the bride would run out only for the sake of

The bridegroom was silent and no longer represented a complete absence of vocal data.

But about that later.



So the task is set and clear. But with execution, it is a stumbling. well no

I don’t know a single song about love. For five minutes he talked.

witnesses of the bride, until they agreed: the song can be any;

Not necessarily in English, but in Russian; for moral support

All witnesses of the bridegroom must sing.



After a brief meeting, we found out that we all know one.

The only song. There is no way back, you cannot escape from the submarine.

In three bits we cried:



“Rise up, the country is huge.

Stand up for a deadly fight.

With the dark fascist force,

“The damned horde.”



Time has stopped. The birds hang in the air. The Chinese were with

Incredibly wide open eyes. Mexicans cutting grass on

On the other side of the street, they forgot everything in the world and looked fascinated.

and us. The silence was broken by the father of the bridegroom, running out on the street with a cry: "What?

What happened"



Gradually everything returned to its own circles. There is nothing left of the bride.

except to let us all enter and not be ashamed anymore.

The Chinese came back and narrowed their eyes to the usual size. The Mexicans

Back to the grasshoppers. The wedding itself was even more fun, but it was already

Another story.



The groom is from Chelyabinsk. Chelyabinsk men are so harsh.

They can get married to Chinese women, get stuck in the heat of forty degrees.

"Rise the country is huge!" for them a song about love.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №13393
 03.01.2009
In Vladivostok opened the exhibition center. All premises

Equipped with comfortable plays.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №13392
 03.01.2009
Halloween, the feast of impurity in America. In Russia, there is a celebration when all the dead go to the streets. It is 1 January.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №13391
 03.01.2009
Putin and Medvedev shake their arms:
"No you will say. No you say..."

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №13390
 03.01.2009
Sart: Well, how did the corporation go?
Prizrak: Yes, as usual... the headbuck once again justified the title of his position...

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №13389
 02.01.2009
Have you watched Star Wars?
Yes, the episodes

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №13388
 02.01.2009
Bachelor's Rules

Quote should be missed:
- If it starts with the words "Interesting, I am one..."/"Interesting, I am one". No, not of interest. No, you are like millions of others.
- If it starts with the words "Mom today burned out"/"Prepod today burned out". Don’t prepare us for funny things, it’s not a Zadornov concert.
- If instead of it we are coupled with an "unbelievable" case from student/office life. There is a parchment for all of this.
- If it contains the words "kot", "odmin", "shredder", "huyace" or a variation of the emoji "o_O". Fight the readers.
If there is a mother in it. Even if she grew up a dumb ham (in the true biblical sense of the word), it is somehow a pity that he will so calmly shame her.
- If she ends with the words "I should have seen her face". If "should have seen", did you get a quote without a photo?
- If it ends with the words "The whole office". We will somehow mock what you were lying there, your dumb quote in front of us and we can appreciate it ourselves.
- If after the description of any stupidity follows the conclusion "This people is invincible". They win not with stupidity, but with intelligence.
- If after the description of any stupidity follows the conclusion "Only in Russia can". Do not give yourself exclusive to stupidity.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №13387
 02.01.2009
Please please! Let this quote hit the top and it will have a rating in 2009!! All with New Year!

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №13386
 02.01.2009
There are rumors that if a person has a pathological passion for cleanliness (for example, every 5 minutes a cup with chlorine is washed), then he has done something very dirty in his life. So here. I think in my room I am a saint.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna