What is written in the striptease instructions?
~ ~ ~
You won’t believe what it’s written. Starting from dressing on weekdays and until compulsory costume change three times a night.

Never stop exercising your willpower. Repeat 15 times instead of 10. Not two kilometers, but three kilometers.
Yyy: They say you need to sleep 8 hours? Why not 9 or 10? Fight and improve the result!
Zzz: Eat the whole cake, not a piece, drink the whole bottle of whisky, not a glass!

They do not listen to those who whisper, but those who whisper.

As a child, my parents sometimes used “mothers” and excused themselves, “Sorry for my French.”
A few years later I went to school. And since there were children from different countries at school, the teacher asked, "Who knows French?"
As it turns out, I did not know French.

Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison where he was beaten and tortured every day.
After his release, he returned to his wife, lived with her for six months and said, "I can't stand this anymore!“I have divorced!

In the hospital. A line of 4-5 elderly (C), a speaking grandmother (G), I and one guy (P) - in a suit, slipped and with a diplomat.

The guy takes a book from the window and reads the title.

Q: "The Dictionary of Satan"
B: Is it an occult?
Q: It is unlikely, rather artistic, to have been published in the Union.
B: Are you fascinated by Satanism?! to
Q: I’ve been interested before, but what about it?
B: Good that it stopped. Why has he stopped?
Q: I realized it was a complete nonsense.
C is correct! is right! God must be believed.
P:... just like any other religion.

This is:
"Therefore, the needs are essentially two - baby and sex"

Here is the niche. Google has launched the “Universe-25 Experiment.” On mice, it is true, but still - the colony of mice is fully provided with the satisfaction of such needs, the result - the colony inevitably degrades and dies out.

It has to be complicated, it has to be.

Dj xxx - In our radio, the director heard that if more than fifty percent of employees in the enterprise are disabled, then this enterprise does not pay taxes. He then ran for two months with a burning look, dreaming of cutting off the feet of DJs, such as they can broadcast from a wheelchair. Offered for the voluntary disability increase to the s / p, but no one got...
DJ Yyy - Is the addition big?

Congregatio: Son (9 years) jumped on a date to another love for the rest of his life.
Yesterday evening came all joyful - met the girl, they played together, today she invited him to visit... "Only I have two likely competitors", - said the son-in-law at the end of the story. Man, even darker: "Remove them!" How is it "How is it? I don’t know where they live".
I don’t know, poor man, what we’re doing.

If the purpose of man’s existence is only pleasure, then man’s existence is meaningless. If you give your life to another person, why does he need it; is there any other purpose? Which?

No matter how high it may sound, man is the point where the universe is aware of itself.
I accept the purpose and meaning of the consciousness of the universe.
This goal cannot be achieved by human life.

>>>no, the most beautiful was when a comrade seriously asked what the word "such" meant.

It was necessary to answer what is read as "zuh" and translated from German as "search".

From Habr:
I remembered the old man:
Yandex – “There is everything!”
Google – “Nothing is lost”

My Chinese, like a Japanese tonometer, is good and inspires me optimism. By measuring the pressure several times in a row, you can get the values of 170/100, 100/80, 190/ 110, 90/60 and finally the desired 120/80, after which it is worth stopping and telling yourself - "I did not expect as the astronaut..."

Is anyone going to Terminator 2 in 3D?
I have heard a lot of good. It turns out that Schwartz plays a good Terminator there this time. And still, they say, fight with a liquid metal robot!

Mag: Yes, we are going today. I watched the first part, a great movie, and here I don't even know, I saw the trailer, the new Terminator is pursuing someone again, and there they say "You can't kill people", in general, you can see that it's not that, so of course I don't expect much from the sequel, but I hope that even a student in the main role will not be angry.

Some of the children were taken by the train. In the hallway is a young mother with a child up to a year. As soon as he begins to captivate, she quickly squeezes him and distracts him on trains, a horse, something else. The boy is 6 years old, not her.
What is there? The boy asks her at the edge of his voice. (I was at the other end of the car, the door was opened by a click, and then I jumped.)
The child begins to captivate. The girl, pushing him, calmly
These are trucks, trucks.
What are they taking?
The situation repeats
I do not know. Count the wagons?
and once. Two of. Three. The Four...
You have guessed.
He has failed. He started again. He annoyed loudly. He spoke in the real sense of the word.
When he finally stood behind the poor passenger, the door of my neighbor’s coupe opened.
Oh Wadiq, I lost you. I found the whole car.Let us go eat.

Coffee please.
Adding a syrup?
Newcastle, just as in the instructions.

They agreed with a friend after school to come to me, so that I could give him a few puddles with a selective spruce at the time ("Hot Hooks from the 9th floor" from the sauce park nervously smoke in the side, at least I thought so).

That same day, a new book about Harry Potter was released. That is to say, I ran home with my head broken with the only desire – to dive faster into the world of magic.

Standing at the door, I said to a friend, “Now wait here, I’ll take it out,” and as I barely crossed the threshold and removed my jacket, I immediately opened the book and forgot about my friend.

I went out in two hours on request.

Mom’s rubbish – and a friend is standing and waiting for his portion of magic.



That’s what the schoolgirl is doing!



P.S. He didn’t know how to knock on the door, idiot.

When I was a student, I was taking lectures on a bus. Close, pressure, the crowd clamps from all sides. The driver from the front floor encourages to pay. Yale pushed his hand into his pocket, pulled out a handful of little things, counted, the good should not be held. The rest was put in my pocket again.

When I got out at the stop, I wondered where was the little thing in my pocket from? Jacket after washing. I put my hand in my pocket and there is nothing. This is such a story.

Go on your way back on the path of life!
...??? to
In other words, go fucking!! to

A petition appeared on the Internet with a request to rename the stadium "St. Petersburg" into "Baklan Arena"