bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №141983
 07.06.2017
Jennie Hall
This is the difference of generations. A young girl in her 20s asked me how I feel about BDSM novels.
I don’t know what BDSM is. It is very similar to VLXM. I feel very negative to him, I replied.
What is VLXM? The girl asked.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141982
 07.06.2017
The stars celebrated the birthday of Alexander Pushkin by reading his poems.

Pushkin was upset and invited everyone to a personal meeting.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №141981
 07.06.2017
I live in Rwanda. Here I got the most adulterous article in one local magazine "What in the behavior of foreigners seems strange to the Rwandan". The author conducted a survey among the indigenous population and brought to the judgment of the reader the main points. What are the characteristics of representatives of foreign powers?

1st They ask too many questions. Politics, history, culture and so on. The Russians find this unacceptable.

2nd They dress carelessly. They rarely change clothes and shoes. They allow themselves to defile in a cheap costume. You have to dress so that no one thinks you are a miser, even if you are a miser – this is what the citizens of Rwanda see.

Three They eat and drink on the street. Do not feed the musung with bread, let the bull flow right on the street. Unknowingly, it is uncultural to eat at the table.

4 is Feelings on the street. They kiss and embrace. How can I? All tenderness is at home.

5 is Protecting the rights of homosexuals. Europeans love to prove that same-sex relationships are a normal thing. Who can and normal, and contrary to the Rwanda system of values. Let them say thank you that it is not in Uganda. They are still in prison for these excesses.

What conclusion can we draw? When you are in shorts, chewing your friend with one hand of non-traditional orientation, and the other hand compressing a sandwich, asking a Rwandan about the colonial past, he feels personal hostility to you, so that he can not eat. Respect the laws and customs of the host country.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141980
 06.06.2017
"Children poisoned with sweets "Angry Bees", found them on the street".

This is congenital, Kiss. Pick up the garbage and eat it. There are no words.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141979
 06.06.2017
Sitting his son is watching the site "Rescue egue" prepares for physics, after an hour of trials and mistakes declares:
-I have the feeling that we are studying different physics.Somebody would make a constructive proposal for the exam to issue the same substances under which these tasks were made.


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141978
 06.06.2017
xxx:Gyges, since the advertisement has seen fun, a company some rooftops industrializes. Like a telephone directory,
Fire on the roof - 01
The Roof - 02
The Roof - 03
I need a roof - company phone
I liked it :)
I would change the second and fourth rows by places, leaving the phones in place ;)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141977
 06.06.2017
XY: How many I’ve seen those TZs! Every time the same thing. A, yeah, here I forgot to write about it, but you do it again. "Normal TZ can only be a bit of a scrap - like two lesbians who know how to bring pleasure to each other.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №141976
 06.06.2017
The husband took the senior for the weekend to the country - to work to train.
He ordered him a half of a bed with an onion, and gave instructions: “Remove everything except the onion!”
Vanechka took the indication literally and pulled out the shrub of chickpeas that grew at the beginning of the bed.
"But this is not the luke!", - Vanya justified afterwards.
The programmer is growing.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141975
 06.06.2017
Imagine a conference to analyze and predict the outcome of throwing play bones. Where everyone with a serious look advances their theories, based on the weather forecast, the lunar calendar and the behavior of the polar gagara during the marriage period.
This is how I see Forex.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141974
 06.06.2017
XXX: I was recommended a series here. Well, I just got enough for 152 series!

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141973
 06.06.2017
In Chisinau, a car is placed on a playground. Many drivers say they have no place to put their cars.
X: I bought a motorcycle. An old one with a wheelchair. Where to put it? In the street or broken. He went up the stairs, and the places were gone! The first floor is not far to go. Those villains are walking and walking! Swim with wheelchairs! With the bags! Bicycles cannot be attached to the fence on the street. The children are in the elevator. For a month, there is no power! And they are angry too!! The motorcycle interferes. And I am guilty that the government has made such small staircases - there is no place to put a mozzarella. The discomfort is one - all sick people around.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141972
 06.06.2017
To the Trade of Probability, Eagle and Rainbow:

Many believe that lottery ticket numbers that have not been released for a long time have a higher chance of falling out in the future. However, the lottery machine does not have a "memory", that is, its state in the future does not depend on the past. These multi-colored plastic balls do not know how often they have fallen in past games and do not seek to compensate for previous failures.

The science of the flat world by Terry Pratchett

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141971
 06.06.2017
Do you have any wishes at the end of the month?
Has the weather paid off?
Paul: It is certain
Tagged with: dates?
Paul: from 20 to 32 June
From 32...
Paul: Yes
wyrm: No, my mom, until the gardens are finished, does not allow me to leave this temporary continuum...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141970
 06.06.2017
"Media: The Jaguar fell into the Moscow River".

The nightmare! 90 rubles a cat under the tail! The river is more toxic.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141969
 06.06.2017
I hear him chase a motorcycle around Moscow :( How to let him understand that you have to ride somewhere else... Not under the windows of people? Who to complain?
Does his mother not allow him to drive away from home?
I have to complain to my mom.)

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141968
 06.06.2017
I live in Rwanda. Here I saw the most adulterous article in one local magazine, "What in the behavior of foreigners seems strange to the Rwandan people." The author conducted a survey among the indigenous population and brought to the judgment of the reader the main points. What are the characteristics of representatives of foreign powers?



1st They ask too many questions. About politics, history, culture, etc. Rwandais find this unacceptable.



2nd They dress carelessly. They rarely change clothes and shoes. They allow themselves to defile in a cheap costume. You have to dress so that no one thinks you are a miser, even if you are a miser – this is what the citizens of Rwanda see.



Three They eat and drink on the street. Do not feed the musung with bread, let the bull flow right on the street. Unknowingly, it is uncultural to eat at the table.



4 is Feelings on the street. They kiss and embrace. How can I? All tenderness is at home.



5 is Protecting the rights of homosexuals. Europeans love to prove that same-sex relationships are a normal thing. Who can and normal, and contrary to the Rwanda system of values. Let them say thank you that it is not in Uganda. They are still in prison for these excesses.



What conclusion can we draw? When you are in shorts, chewing your friend with one hand of non-traditional orientation, and the other hand compressing a sandwich, asking a Rwandan about the colonial past, he feels personal hostility to you, so that he can not eat. Respect the laws and customs of the host country.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141967
 06.06.2017
xxx: St. Petersburg metro made magnetic cards for travel. But only here:
1) re-pass on the card is possible only after 10 minutes (although it is for a fixed number of trips);
2) when buying the card is taken a deposit of 60 rubles; you can give the card and get it back, but for this you need to present a passport;
3) to hand over the card, if there are still travels on it, it is impossible.
It would be interesting to see how this could have been thought of before.

You’re not from Peter, you don’t understand!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141966
 06.06.2017
XHH: This Moscow has borrowed, it has to be rolled in the heels.
Wally, what is the problem?
XH: In the money. There is no money.
Q: Do you mean that life in the fence is more expensive than in Moscow?
HH: What does this have to do with it?
WOW: In fact, I have never heard in my life that no one has enough money to go to Moscow. In Moscow, they just take and roll. And as soon as it comes to talk about dropping into the fence, the circus begins "No money, no, no, no...". So I have a serious suspicion that it is never about money.
Q: Do I want to quit everything and just leave? Barahlo at least has to be pulled, live somewhere.
The young man was literally disguised.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141965
 06.06.2017
The newborn brother bought a bunch of rubber toys. I also wanted to play them. I’m 8 years old, I sit, I play, and here one of the toys breaks down. I was afraid to be punished for ruining it. I try to get it – no. I had to bite a hole to get it. I look at the spoiled toy and think “punish” you need to bite everything, like mice. So my mom still (I am 32) remembers these toys and thinks it's me jealousy ruined everything

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141964
 06.06.2017
A colleague told: she lived then (years 20 ago) as a student with her grandmother in the same apartment. A grandmother gathered in another city for a month to host her family. I left my colleague alone. Of course, she sometimes brought her friends to visit, but nothing criminal happened in the apartment. When my grandmother came back, she suddenly said, “I missed my engagement ring!” It was you who stole it, or your friends. Go, ask them, look for them! I will submit a statement to the police!! My colleague was upset. Neither she nor her friends, of course, could take anything, people are reliable. The ring was not found. A year later, a colleague got married, gave birth to a daughter. The grandmother, in any case, tried to insert: “I remember, it was you who stole my ring. I did not write a statement. Now I will not, or you will be deprived of parental rights, the daughter will remain alone. (The kind of mercy was shown for the child.) And so once in a while. Many years have passed since my grandmother’s anniversary. People from all over the country gathered, sat at the table, celebrated, talked toast. A colleague came out from the table with another youth and in the neighboring room is talking to a cousin. And then the sister accidentally stumbled on how this grandmother gave her attention 11 years ago: THE MOST RING! Thus e. The old carga, either forgot about the gift, or specifically oppressed her granddaughter for 11 years! By the way, when a colleague learned this, she wanted to go and spread the table to the damn mother and the grandmother. Only her husband and sister kept her.



No morality and no morality. Unfortunately, in the family, as they say, not without shit.

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