Before the operation, I had to do a sanitation. It was ordered to remove up to 3 teeth - one on the right and two on the left. The surgeon warned that all three rubs should not be carried out at once. We agreed to break one on Friday and two more on Monday.

Everything went according to plan. I come on Monday, I go to the surgical department, and there we have 4 chairs, three of them are occupied by the unfortunate, whose teeth are rubbing. The surgeon sneezes what he has learned and stretches his hand for the medical card. I take it and say:

Hi to you! I pulled out your tooth on Friday, I liked it so much, can you pull out two more?

There was silence in the department. Everyone was waiting for him to answer. An elderly surgeon suddenly raised my eyes and suddenly decided to play:

Yes, of course sit down!

My teeth broke in total silence. Until the last day, nobody believed he would do it. And just accompanying me to the hallway after removal, I saw sparkles in his eyes - the joke clearly liked him.

Beards-patls... "The main thing is the tail!"

It would be better for society. tk. One of the main reasons why they wore not so long ago (the same 90-zero) was very prose: in the fight they are a weak spot.

I work in USA. I have a black one at work. I asked to listen to Russian music. He gave him what was at hand - a collection of Russian romances performed by Alexander Malinin.

He is here today, he says, he liked it. It’s long, it says, sad, as if the dog has died.

The loan allows you to spend the usual monthly salary right today. After receiving a salary, it is necessary, a surprise, to put it on a credit card and go out to zero, and then spend it in shops exactly the same way as you would spend it with a salary card or cash. Repeat the procedure every month. Thus, you have one super-planned salary - on the day of issuing the credit card."

And in the month when your overdraft contract expires, you are left without a salary at all because you have already eaten it. They swim, we know.

The chief decided to send me to the executive committee for an ideological meeting on the topic of food problems in the Republic of Belarus. I asked if I was ready, knowing in advance that I didn’t know.
I: Of course I am ready.
Chief: Is the speech ready?
I : Of course. I will take the Old Testament. I can tell the story of the five loaves and two fish that fed 10,000 people.
What was there...

The New Testament)

Vladimir J.: The media with reference to eyewitnesses that an unknown, human-like, entered the building with an object similar to a rod, and began using a mouthpiece to make sounds similar to screaming and mocking.

I like long hair guys. Moreover: I and my hair began to grow only after such a patch was suppressed, at the same time I understood why men from long female hair balladed.
Not fashion but fetish. At least for me.

Every year on August 17 I write the same sentence:

Zoe is alive!! to

If there is a lot of unspoiled oatmeal in the morning and take a walk under the iron baths of true Moscovites on a hot summer noon, after reading the fun physics of Rosenthal, then the family routines of philologists will seem like a fairy tale and will very much want to take a loan with an interest rate on the debit card and drink out of the busy places in the buses of all pregnant grandmothers of forty-five years old in short shirts on the weather in the hope of the onset of enlightenment and the appearance of quotes on a different topic.

The hero of the week breakfast with oatmeal, does not use a deodorant and bank cards, gives a place to ladies, wears long loose hair and keeps the kitten under the bathroom.

When I was a child, when there was a phrase in the book like: “On the table was a tea machine...”, I imagined a wooden box with flashing bulbs, arrow indicators and wires, like a physiotherapy apparatus, and tried to understand how it relates to tea and what it is intended for.

One day in school, a natural science teacher asked: "Who were the parents of the sheep?I replied, “The perverse.”

Somehow it happened that most of my friends were born in the Soviet Union, but gradually moved around the globe. Take Anush for example. She was born and graduated from school in Yerevan, entered Leningrad University and became Anai. After graduation, she married an Englishman and moved to his homeland. Now her name is Anne. Anne lives in a tiny town in Gloucester County, right next to the famous Royal Dean Forest. She has a good apartment, enough money not for a luxurious, but absolutely decent life, her son has already graduated from college and lives separately. It would seem like you could rest a little and relax. Peace is only dreaming. A few years ago, her mother died in Yerevan, and Anne took her father to her home. He was under 90 and could not stay alone. In a distant England, a father, of course, feels like a fish pulled out of the water. But suffering is stoic and tries not to complain. He reads Armenian news on the Internet, looks at Russian channels on television. Even in a bad mood, not Anne, but the Turks and Azerbaijanis are outraged. It goes badly, but enjoys going out in nature. After stony Armenia, green England seems to him a paradise.

On that day, Anne routinely took her father to the forest to breathe the air, put him on a bench, and went to pick up things from the cleaner. He arrives in half an hour, but his father is not there. I walked into the woods and cried out, my father is not there. What to do? Called the police. The police said, “Don’t worry, we’ll come.
They arrived. They walked through the woods, shouting, “Father is not there.”
“Well,” they say, “we’ll call the kinologist now, and you’ll go home and bring some of his shoes so that the dog can take the trace.
When Anne returned, the filmologist was already there. It turned out to be a young cute lady that you can see at http://abrp722.livejournal.com in my Live Journal. While the dog was studying the shoe, one of the policemen ringed the phone. At the end of the conversation, he hurried to please Anne:
“I found you,” said your father. A lady brought him to a local nursing home. She saw the lonely old man, decided that he was lost and brought him. They see that he is a stranger. So they called the police.

Anne went to the elderly house. My father sat in the dining room and drinking English tea with milk. Anne was so glad to see him unharmed that she even cried. Then I began to read:
How did you get into the car with an unfamiliar woman? You saw that it wasn’t me! Your vision is good. How were you going to communicate with her? You can’t even say the address in English! Dad, what did you think of?? to
The father glanced at Anne and said in Armenian:
“Anush, child, what can a man think of when a woman calls him into his car? I was hoping for an adventure.

Who is it? I asked Larissa.
Seriously? Do you know Stasi Mikhailov? Surprised by Sergey.
And I don’t want to know, please turn off this ugliness, or switch to Match TV.
Soon after, Sergey made an offer to Larisa. And Stasa Mikhailova, in secret from her husband, went to listen to her mother.

My favorite color is green.
and my violet.
Our future child will have to wear green-violet clothes.
Darling: the world’s first child-supercriminal

here here :

I wanted to do as in my childhood. As my mother cooked. This taste cannot be passed on. The taste of happiness. I broke a lot of recipes. All are different! I needed it as my mom cooked it. But I can’t call her anymore...and the recipe for my happiness is lost forever.
I made a couple of plates for trial, according to different recipes. Not that... all. There is no mother. There is no happiness.

You know, this is the case, the reason is not in the recipe. I have a mother alive, old already, but memory, God give to everyone. And I know for a long time - what my mother is cooking is not exactly repeatable. I take a recipe from her, I consult on the course, I try - delicious, but not that, a half-blind mother will get up to the plate - and here it is, the taste of childhood, the taste of happiness. How! → I don’t understand, a miracle.

tn: I’ll get rich and open a bag store. I will call him "Sumkin’s son".

I read to the child Uspensky "Cheburashka and the crocodile of Genoa", there is such a moment:
We will build there.
And from what?
Of course from bricks.
Where to get them?
I do not know.
“I don’t know,” said Galia.
“I don’t know either,” Cheburashka said.
– Listen, – suddenly suggested Galia, – let’s call the reference office!
...
And then the child asks, "What is the "Reference Bureau"?
An outspoken clin of the brain, then the answer is difficult to formulate:
This is an old Google.

Shattered work
Once from the accounting office was fired a girl who was responsible for the warehouse accounting. The duty included printing monthly reports, many reports. During the work, the girl did not bother herself and printed only what the boss asked. For the transfer of cases, she strained, printed the missing sheets of 700 reports, squeezed them, glued the covers on all the rules of business and removed them. And then it turned out that she allowed all the reports to be printed almost simultaneously, the paint in the printer ended, and of the 700 sheets read was half, the rest stripes and almost clean sheets.
Yes, she was called after her dismissal and asked what she was for. What they heard: I handed things over, it was better to take.

xxx has problems with self-correcting on the phone.
XXX: Do I give the cats?
XXX: They were very delicious.
xxx: auto correction wanted to fix "custody" on "castrate"
XXX: But I am Michael Vigilance
XXX: Retained
xxx for you