bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №140983
 03.05.2017
When the government cannot raise pensions, it raises the retirement age.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №140982
 03.05.2017
Probably many people were stuck at the time when political information was held in schools.
And I wasn’t just stuck, but I was a political informant, though not very long.

This burden was borne on me by a good manager. So she said:
The kids! This year you will be accepted as pioneers, and you should be aware
what is happening in the world. Once a week, every Wednesday, we
to conduct political information, and as a political informant I propose to choose Maxim.

I prepared for my first political information very responsibly.
In particular, he decided to ask his father about what is happening in the world.
My father was very pleased with my curiosity and decided to introduce me in detail.
in the course of the matter. He was a member of the party, but listened to the BBC, like many people then.
He revealed all the world events to me very carefully.

Long talked about Afghanistan, and about the boycott of the Olympics (was the 80th year)
and even expressed in that spirit that if once again to make such an introduction
A limited contingent everywhere, as if there was no nuclear war.
At the same time, he was not a dissident, on the contrary, he sincerely believed in the ideals of socialism.

Here is my first information. It coincided with the fact that it was done before
An open lesson attended by the director of the school and members of GORONO.

And then I went out to the board, turned my face to the classroom, and began to broadcast with inspiration.
He felt himself an oracle that shines the light of truth and breaks the cover:
I believe that the rise of imperialist aggression in the Middle East can
leading to nuclear war!

So I reasoned, and then I began to tell the story of the elimination of Taraki and Amin,
introduction of a limited contingent on the territory of the DR.
Then he went on to subsequent attempts to disrupt the Moscow Olympics.
My classmates listened to me in absolute silence.
The faces of the members of the GORONO commission gradually stoned, the director sat with his eyes,
They seemed to be coming out of orbit.

When the open lesson ended, the guys demanded a change from me.
Continuation of fascinating story.
The next day, before the class began, the classmate said that Maxim,
(i.e. to me) in her opinion is more suitable to be a physorge and suggested
to elect someone else for the position of political informant.

But for my classmates in politics I have since become an authority.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140981
 03.05.2017
It is said that if you show a person a picture of a boy running, stumbling on a chair, to the question "Who is to blame for what happened?" Children up to 5 years of age respond to the question: "Chair!"Children from five to 12 years of age answer "boy" and only when they become adults begin to answer: "The cattle that put the chair here!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №140980
 03.05.2017
I open the door without looking. I kept it for myself, I passed, now you get off the phone and keep it for yourself. I am not paid for keeping the door. And no, I will never hit the door in my forehead because I have hands.

There are no brains. Hands can be busy with a lot of things, except for the smartphone. But you don’t carry your own bags, you have a service for that. The most offensive thing is that such spiders “feed” what normal people do for each other.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140979
 03.05.2017
The Defender:

In short, there are people who think I have to keep the door in the supermarket, in the subway, for them. Here’s the shit, the puddle. I held for myself, I passed, and you cut off your fuck from the phone, fool. Hold your own fucking door. I always open the door when such an unhealthy mess begins. Maybe these fools will move the door to fucking, so they will start to think a little and stop living like hate. I am the sanitary of society, I save the world from the fools. It is pleasant to feel a holy defender of justice."

You are not a sanitary, but a product of the digestion of the megacity. There is absolutely nothing to be proud of.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140978
 03.05.2017
<Natalia>It’s bad when you’re tired of yourself. You cannot take a break in relationships, live separately.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №140977
 03.05.2017
It is very difficult to be in the same apartment with a little nephew: there is always so much delicious around, and all this is NOT YOU!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №140976
 03.05.2017
xxx (placed in the hospital): I see a button, above it a black silhouette along the belt with a square head and a red cross on the forehead. The nurse’s challenge?
YYY: YYYYY
YYY: Approximately so they look.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №140975
 03.05.2017
Melt, it's some kind of gay parade today on the road
xh: the first day after the holidays, usually free - no, from the morning they are already gathering each other in the ass, taking two stripes. The Peders!

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140974
 03.05.2017
Don’t you think you’re not about it?

I am registered with a psychiatrist for 2.5 years (bipolar). A month was in psychiatry due to suicide attempt (forbidden in this country). I had three psychiatrists and one psychologist. Psychiatrists prescribed pills that helped me. Psychology carried some wild from VK publications, such as "think passive))))0" and a similar heresy that did not help. I despise psychologists. These are useless humanities. And I respect psychiatrists, they deserve to be called doctors.

I think my 90-year-old grandmother with paranoid madness, too, a psychologist will not help. I may be here.
It is like seeing: the blind does not need glasses, but a guide dog.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №140973
 03.05.2017
I found the perfect jeans. In their closet, the old ones, slightly already crushed, hz, how many failed. But they have normal deep pockets, and not the stuff that now all women's jeans are on sale, and also - about charm! - rigidly fixed on the waist belt, not sliding on half pockets, it is only worth sitting down, pornography. I’m going to learn to kick, because they’re the best ones that can offer shops.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140972
 03.05.2017
I studied in one of the periods of my mostly boring life at one of the educational institutions. And somehow I ask the teaching:"And why don’t you teach us to define surveillance?"
And the prop said:"What is the meaning? If this is the stage that you have been monitored, then you are fucking!".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140971
 03.05.2017
Listen to the joke.)
YYYYYYYYYYYYY
My mom just came to complain. She has a cell phone - a Samsung shell, which she has already bought. The cover holds on one loop, it is all beaten and crushed, when you open it, it crushes it, it is about to collapse. His dynamic was broken. She took it to the service. Surprisingly, they were repaired. Here is the complaint:
The xxx:
He takes the phone, carries it to me, stumbles and runs! Something has flown!! to
I am sure he is not specifically. What said?
- said that he will fix everything, even change the cover and fix everything (I imagine with what hatred she gave him the appearance)
Well is normal. He will fix it, he will not take the money. What is wrong?
How could it have fallen?! to
Have you ever robbed anything in your life? Didn’t your phone break?
I did it a hundred times and it worked!!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №140970
 02.05.2017
We talked with a friend about how we went to training before.
This training helped everyone. I got depressed, and Katie has a ass!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №140969
 02.05.2017
Yes-Yes

Parents are holy. You do not respect your parents – you do not have the right to be considered a human being.

Especially if they are addicts, especially if they beat you at the same time.
Even if any phrase-accusation, even if any action is harmful to the child, even if the child is unhappy. Even the mother who gave you to a suitener or a babysitter, even if your father raped you for years. All these wonderful people have given birth to you. Respect them.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №140968
 02.05.2017
xxx: How does it happen that things that were the limit of dreams at 12 years old turn into useless garbage by 30?
YYY: Just in 12 your limit of dreams was useless sludge.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №140967
 02.05.2017
World's oldest man dies in Indonesia at 146 years old
Mba Ghoto was a fierce smoker until his death. He survived four wives, 10 brothers and sisters and all his children.
Smoking kills slowly but inevitably

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №140966
 02.05.2017
xxx: I’m all waiting for the time when the rights of people without privacy will finally be defended. You can either ban everyone from fucking, or give a free couple for a relationship. Both options will fit me.
YYY: Herman, and then they’re you "sorry, free loli, milfs and lamp nishies are over, we can only offer gender fluid Abdullah from Somalia, by the way, your limit of refusal from partners for this year is exhausted".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №140965
 02.05.2017
XHHH: I moved - Peresvet street now
There must just be a Chelubbeev impasse.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №140964
 02.05.2017
In the wake of the mother-in-law.

I will not lie that my mother-in-law is gold, and also with platinum-brilliant inserts. There are leaps, like each of us, but leaps are tolerable. But as she heated the photo album of her drunken husband, the code decided to show the naked son (my at the time future husband) in the style of "and we first kicked into the pot"!

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