In addition to aircraft and tank biathlon, you can also introduce such competitions as hiding on submarines.

The Jewish custom is to count the 49 days after Easter with special daily prayers. And the order number of today can not be called directly, only indirectly.
And if you are asked on the first day of the omer, what is the day of the omer today, you have to answer: Yesterday was a zero day? and :)
The main thing is not to say ArrayIndexOutOfBoundsException.

Thanks to the dedicated work of the Ministry of Education, our younger generation is becoming more and more distant from the shameful state called “homo sapiens.”

The garage door.
Like many of my stories, this started with a banal evening walk with the dogs.
At nine o’clock in the evening, it’s dark, the wind is blowing, the fog – and you can’t do anything.
We need a regime... otherwise they will break the house, we will go for a walk. Close to the 2nd quarter...
And then I hear the sound of the closing garage door, the neighbor returned home. The neighbor I knew a little, an elderly retired teacher well over 80 years old, lives alone, the daughter comes once a month and on holidays.
Only the door has fallen - it opens again, apparently, the grandmother will go out, we would have to wait with the dogs, not equal to an hour to get under the wheels.
Nobody is leaving.
Oh, hell, wait cold, let's go, but - I pass by the open garage, the car stands, there is no one...
Then the shut door closes again.
When it closed, it almost immediately opened up again.
I wondered: the fault of the door?
Unlikely to. A certain order was visible, the door closed and immediately opened.
Is anyone running on the control panel? No cat or dog in the house.
And why is her car in the garage and there is no light in the house?
I called, who is alive?
and silence.
The unforeseen is rarely good, the unexplained is dangerous, life and profession are taught. Need to do something? and what?
The foolish door shut down again, for a second, and opened again.
My hesitation is over, I call 911, connect to the sheriff station, which is two minutes away from us.
Assistant Sheriff: What is it?
I start from a distance, that, say, I apologize in advance, here is the nonsense of something, probably nothing terrible, the doors are enchanted, down and up drive...
It didn’t seem like nonsense – at all.
Give me the address.
I give.
Stay there, we are going.
I stand...
Who are we?
The puzzle did not wait - and five minutes did not pass, an assistant sheriff arrives, behind him - firefighters-paramedics.
The sheriff enters through the open garage door, enters the house, finds the housewife on the floor, conscious but weakened.
Go to my home hospital for inspection.
The sheriff closed the garage, took the opener with him and then went.
It turned out - he told me - many elderly people carry openers with them, sending SOS signals through the garage door. Who would know...
So he didn’t go to the woods with me, he took everything seriously.
He thanked me for my vigil and left.
The dogs walked, and I followed them.
With her nothing terrible, weakened, the head turned upside down, confused.
This happens to the elderly...
She fell softly, without fractures - but in such a narrow space that she couldn't get up, wasn't confused, she began to knock on the door at the opening.
Such a story.
And I remembered her, this is why - I go from work, she walks, with a whale and a dog, both happy with life, seemingly healthy...
I do not need more.

Here would be the series "Masha and the Bear", where she walks to get what she wants, and gets her ass. How many children would become obedient.

GT, comments to the article "Created substance with properties of negative mass"

xxx: It turns out, if you create an object (for example, 1 kg) of such a substance, glue it with a normal substance in 1 kg and push it, then the object will stand in place regardless of the effort applied? After all, 1 kg will accelerate by vector, and "-1 kg" against the vector of effort?
PS We are waiting for lanterns and cranes made of such a substance, which do not need to be attached - just put on the ceiling :)

yyy: You will have to cool the room to almost 0 Kelvin.

Zzzz: When did this stop us?

They say that the Khrushchevs want to destroy all over the country.
Hopefully a new house will be built before the old one is demolished.
This issue has not yet been discussed.

Welcome to a new world of impeccable logic, where being a 150-kilograms girdle is genetic, and being gay is a conscious lifestyle choice.

We sit, we work: the software development department and the software product support department.
Grandpa comes in. He passes between tables, examining people and computers and stating, “Yes, I look, you have a little work with computers now. Not the same thing as before, when technicians were sitting here - programmers! The smoke stood! And you have it... Silence, peace. So, we will not clean your air conditioner!"
And left pleased, ignoring the requests to clean the air conditioners, because we will turn them on in the summer. Fuck you humanitarian. Dirty assurances that we were programmers he also ignored. So I see how he then tells the real technicians, whose smoke is always a pillar, how his cunning humanitaries wanted to deceive, say also programmers, and even the mouths of the sage themselves are not blurred.

by LuckyBastard:
I checked the application and found the following text:
Win Server 2012 was so foolish and incompatible with a number of systems intended to be integrated into it that it was released to upgrade it to Win Server 2008.

Two – two cards

Is it bad to meet with two? These are also backup parallel processes, which consume more resources, but enhance security.

Cranes are raised. Semafores do not support at all, they are not blocked at all, it is a matter of time when they will simultaneously turn to one area in cowards and everything will collapse from access conflict, including a guy.

As usual is:
Gagarin has flown!
He really flew!

The employee has been kidding for an hour. I turned to her and said in a serious voice:
There is no salary and there will be no salary.
How? how? And the advance?
Well how? Has Ikea passed?

xx: I bought a fashion magazine at the institute, there were pictures of thin girls in beautiful dresses. They encouraged me to do sports.
TN: I also bought magazines at the institute. There are pictures of thin girls without beautiful dresses. They also encouraged me to do sports.

xxx: IMHO: If you work freelance or remote, you begin to grow to the couch at some point. You need to change the picture in front of your eyes, or the roof moves slowly.

yyy: Changed the wallpaper on the phone and the norms.

Now a lot of series for any taste and color, there are fantasy, about zombies and youth, detective genre, psychology, history and it's good that there is a rich choice, and yet, you want to see the series about "1C". 1C is a service office in which several programmers work and one of them is the great God, one is the timetable, and the others are in an adequate, girl-manager, management and clients. As in any good and not very series should be a service novel, without it even "Doctor House" did not do, and life itself proves their consistency. Abortions, shameful dismissals, corporate parties with tears. The problem with 1C is fundamental. And you can see the picture, as the chief specialist solves them with the famous saying "and it wasn't in the bobin." The most dramatic moment in the series looks like this:
The database cannot be restored, do you have a copy?
– No...
And all, here the client loses consciousness, sits in front of his eyes, falls faint.

Layk: From the series "Got the country by news": "Ministry of Health plans to deprive unemployed medical policies of the OMS". That is, the logic: there is no work - you do not pay taxes - it is useless for the state - to treat you?

Health Ministry of Russia: on guard of natural selection!

Admin left a document on IP-ATS. Excerpts from:

The number (extensions)
100 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/0
101 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/1
102 : Number registered for the phone that is connected to the gateway to port 1/2
103 : Number registered for a phone that is connected to the gateway to port 0/3
0666: A number registered for a ritual. can be removed. His own hand did not rise.

and poverty. Remember, long ago, in the 90s, we could and assemble, and repair, and do something of our own. But now one call is made and a specially trained person is called. Because there is money to pay him. These services are not so expensive.

This is yes...
There are people. People who like to do things with their hands
There are people who know how to do and thus better drink beer for a few hundred saved.
There are people who do not like strangers and do not want to let strangers into their homes, so they do everything themselves.
There are people who have the right tool bought at home for other needs and thus increase its profitability (and improve their skills).
There are people who want to be able to do everything with their own hands (in case of apocalypse).
But for you there is only one category: poverty. We did the repair with our own hands because I wanted it (for many reasons, none of which had anything to do with money). A poor man is a man who fears that if he saves on something, people will think he has no money for it.

After a concert of Russian rappers in Brooklyn, even Negroes admitted that rap is g@no!