bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138943
 19.02.2017
She practices advanced meditation, friend. Meditation and not medicine.
This is true: she hit New Age, and the fool who can’t read is still you.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №138942
 18.02.2017
Why don’t I play online? Because I want to play! In the game! And the youth now has it all seriously - night raids, responsibility for paths, and all that. And I, you know, to play games used to, not to get into this hybrid of war and corporate crashes!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №138941
 18.02.2017
News: In the controversy, which is better - AMD or nVidia - one programmer hit the other with a tail.
Best stone: Radeon Raskolnikov

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138940
 18.02.2017
And we have dirty cameras installed everywhere, security guards in their free time watch the recordings of who is doing what. Do not sit behind the compound in contact. And the admin, infected, made his jokes black and grey, the guard and does not tell what he is watching there. And that rye periodically, this type is normal. I’ll tell you that I’m not a drug addict.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138939
 18.02.2017
xxx: in the 95s I was barely expelled from work (municipal) when they learned that I bought a motorcycle plane. The headquarters thought that I was a ‘underground millionaire’ which it was time to shut down. It only saved that the motodelta never flew, because it was manufactured at our defense enterprise, and therefore slightly resembled the BTR (by reserve of strength), and the engine was Dnieper-Avia, also manufactured on the defensive, but only Kiev and, as is appropriate, the death on the first takeoff (burned the piston)...

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №138938
 18.02.2017
The boss is cultural. By the middle of the planner, he took his head and said, “How is it for me, D'Artagnan, hard with you...".

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138937
 18.02.2017
When I was a child, I heard about the Internet and introduced a whole world of knowledge where all people share it to advance humanity.

What a fool I was...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №138936
 18.02.2017
At the office of a large company, with facilities throughout the city and region, spammers are constantly calling. The acquaintance? They offer frozen meat for our facilities. The supply of household chemicals, the import of confectionery, clothes, bedding. 5 to 6 calls a day. No one talks to them, because all suppliers have been found for a long time, prices are reduced as much as possible, and it is full of changing a proven supplier for some kind of shell, which today is cheaper. Just answered - send your offer to the mail, we will never consider it. Will it ever fit you?



Until Arcadia got to work with us. The wicked wicked. His Jewish soul could not tolerate such waste. He started reading this spam and responding to the providers. Type, we would, of course, work with you, but I'm not sure how - send a sample.



Within a week comes a courier with bags of sausages and sausages. The samples came. Then came the candy. Then they brought water. and free tickets. Some wise powder and shampoo... The process turned. Employees stopped carrying bags from home and started carrying bags home. And Arkady enthusiastically corresponded with companies, explaining that your sausages were dumped, but the sausage was not tried. The process would go on to this day, well enough suppliers in Moscow, but... the girls were striking, they, you see, violated all their diets because of the fact that in the refrigerator a bunch of food is hollow, and spring is ahead. Supply of supplies stopped.



Although... maybe they’re already taking Arcadia straight home, he’s a fat walking out ?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138935
 18.02.2017
About this:

"I shut my eyes down. No to! A different shape of the ass)) means exactly another virgin."

A different form of ass.

Thank you, now I know how to culturally designate the constantly changing peripeties of my extremely restless life.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №138934
 18.02.2017
Thousands of Mexicans stood up a “living wall” on the U.S. border, protesting against Trump’s plans.

Here is the savings. Put them in fast-drying cement.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138933
 18.02.2017
We lie somehow with our brother, we fall asleep (beds opposite each other) with our brother, the cat lies, the cat cries his brother straight in the face:
- Fu, Kosha, I probably haven't brushed my teeth at all in my life.
- And Kosha probably thinks: "Fu, Andrusha, his ass has probably never slipped out in his life".

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138932
 18.02.2017
# names

"Where is your brother? What does he do?
He owns the fishing vessel “Macedonia” and hunts cats. We will probably meet him off the coast of Japan. It is called the death of Larson.
The death of Larson? It accidentally broke out of me. Is he similar to you?
Not very much. He is a stupid cattle. In him, as in me, a lot... a lot.
The beast? I suggested it.
That is exactly, thank you. He is no less wild than I am, but he barely knows how to read and write.
Never philosophized about life. I added.
“Oh no,” replied Wolf Larsen with bitterness. And that is his happiness. He is too busy with life to think about it. I made a mistake when I first opened the book.
Jack of London. The sea wolf"

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №138931
 18.02.2017
In the case of your girlfriend is not in the bag, oh not in the bag... how do you meet and live with such people?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138930
 18.02.2017
I don't like the series "Doctor House" at all (separately - as an artwork and separately - for what especially gifted patients learned from it). But recently I felt like his character.

In general, a man of forty years and a little comes to the reception. He tells us that a year ago he suffered a stroke, was treated in the clinic N in another city, then moved, now it will be with us. No, the medical documents have not yet been given, but he will tell everything himself. There are neurological disorders in a person, but they are no longer similar to stroke, but to the consequences of years of abuse of some drugs (from those that are in a regular pharmacy box). Under the sauce, let's wait for documents from that clinic to be sent to the examination so far, nothing was prescribed... In general, in that clinic, as it turned out, there is no neurology department at all. Probably, they are all really lying.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138929
 18.02.2017
The former chief of the department told this situation, further with his words: "In the middle of the working day suddenly turned off the light, I sit drinking tea and here comes one of the accountants with the words: - Cracked programmers, little that because of you forever 1C does not work, so you now even turn off the light in the middle of the working day. I’m glad I was there at that moment."

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138928
 18.02.2017
He was a student and went to college only for food. I am being taught there now. Motivation has not changed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138927
 17.02.2017
XX: I have come to this conclusion.
The lonely sysadmin is no different from the lonely woman.
XXX: One with a lot of cats

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138926
 17.02.2017
Knowledge is power!
The cyanide potassium is just from blue acid and makes...
Blue acid is a very volatile volatile compound, and dark nuts for it is not necessary, it is easier to get synthetically, and the cyanide sodium at 1 course in the inorganic laboratory is obtained, so there are no problems. And carbolic acid is nothing more than a phenol, and by chemical structure is not an acid at all. Transparent is not synonymous with colorless!!! In the characteristics of the reagent always write a transparent, red color, or transparent, slightly yellowish...The device for measuring something is a photocolorimeter, (FEC) on it measure the concentration of the substance of the colored solution, so that slightly yellowish or yellow is a big difference, while the solution remains transparent, otherwise the light will not pass through it. Exceptionally convenient for urine tests.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138925
 17.02.2017
The man’s logic.

I don’t know everyone in the office yet. I came to eat in the kitchen, warm up the food, all in working thoughts. A woman stands at the table, cutting vegetables. -"Hello you are happy! Thanks to you too!"
I went to wash my hands, I come back, the girl stands cutting vegetables... It seems the same as before, but not the one... do not say hello? and panic)
I lower my eyes. No to! A different shape of the ass) means a different girl.
Hello, I say good appetite!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138924
 17.02.2017
I work in a bookstore:

- Do you have sets for browsing, panels, strings for browsing?
This is a bookstore.
Well, I thought – since you have books on sewing, then maybe there are sets...
I have medicines and cooking books. But to open the pharmacy combined with the dining room I am not in a hurry.

Is there a colour scotch?
No is
And the green?

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