bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №138983
 20.02.2017
Yesterday I ran along the Volga coast in Samara, on a quiet sunny day. Loved vessels on airbags cutting across the ice. They look spectacular - everyone has huge ears, like Cheburashka, with propellers from Carlson. I was crazy to fly like that. But it must be expensive. Finally I accepted the thought that a thousand and a half is worth that happiness. And if they are two, then they are gone. They reached the base from where they started. There were six of them, different types. I watched from a distance those who sat down pretending to throw a price. God knows what elite tourists, grandmothers are. Probably to pull. I ran, I asked - how much the excursion time (I am soon to the airport), and how much it costs.

The uncle-captain of the aircraft on the pillow looked at me ironically. He replied, “60 rubles. We are not a tour, but a trip. The municipal transportation.”

A celebration of something. Let the modest pensions, but in which other country can grandmothers fly on the ice for less than a dollar?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138982
 20.02.2017
“Sema, I want to tell you that it has become very difficult to climb the career ladder now.
“Abram, I’ll tell you more, it’s even hard to get to her.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №138981
 20.02.2017
Here’s how to make such a great calambur:

Because of the lack of a maid, we live with a courtyard.

In the original was: "for the lack of a maid we have a courtyard".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138980
 20.02.2017
I haven’t watched news on TV for three weeks. It turned on, and Trump is no longer ours. Oh well ok. So even easier. We will now know who is to blame if the entrance is not cleaned up.
Obama will hand over to Trump the keys from the home phones of Russian entrances.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138979
 20.02.2017
xxx: Interested in the story "Lucifer" on Lost. Satan is on the ground to rest, falls in love with a girl policeman and helps her solve criminal cases... well, I don’t know, compared to the hunters of demons from the Supernaturals (let’s take a section of the first five seasons, which are considered a classic of the genre, and then part of the audience begins to care).
YYY: It depends on how you present. The plot of any movie looks like a shit, for example: a man flies into space, looks at his daughter from a bookcase and shakes the arrow in a black hole.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №138978
 20.02.2017
here here :

If your acquaintance went to your mother for 5 minutes a day, I believe you never saw her. And that I lived a week and never saw a cat - no. As the saying goes, go, know the measure. That the voice of the cat never gave, neither whispered, nor murmured, with a stretch, I can believe: there are silent individuals. But in seven days, a mother with her daughter never took a cat on her arms to scratch, scratch and scratch the ear - it is already completely beyond the possibility.

If you sit and walk all day, staring your eyes at the phone, you can not only notice the cat, but also the mother.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138977
 20.02.2017
I always thought I was a complete profan in everything about comps. But even I was uncomfortable when my boyfriend, who took to clean my system from dust (seemingly, it was necessary to at least somehow self-affirm, to show that he is a man), telling me something with a smart look, called the cooler a hard drive. For a long time I proved that he was wrong and that I know what this iron looks like, because I bought the whole filling of this system.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138976
 19.02.2017
Posts in a group of acquaintances
Anonymous please. I am looking for a young man, who today at about 17:30 accidentally took the chips at the box office in Magnete (street. Then he followed me and brought them back to himself. I want to share these chips with you first, and then my life!

I like it: 19

xxx: nothing to yourself, first pressed the chips, and then the life is plagued.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138975
 19.02.2017
<zoi> it is normal people in nightmares dream of monsters, and I dream of html and raw exceptions.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №138974
 19.02.2017
From the school composition: "The boy received a bad assessment".

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138973
 19.02.2017
The Trump women

> "What can look good at 30? The plane!" said Trump.

... said the 70-year-old Trump with his poorly painted hair. A bit of self-criticism.
And the local aunts took on their account again and were angry. The egocentric.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138972
 19.02.2017
You would go to the factory.
I will hang myself in a week.
AAA: Here are people like me making the boss change
BBB: This is you.
BBB: I'm going to be a cock cage, probably
AAA: It is the same thing.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138971
 19.02.2017
As soon as a woman has an offgenic breast, the stomach is pulled up.
As soon as she gets an attractive appearance, that’s all.
She doesn’t need you anymore and you won’t see her anymore.
You only have to talk to the ugly.
XXX Plastic Surgeon

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138970
 19.02.2017
"Child of the Year"

Here’s a straight bueyeee... no, bueyeee, it’s just turning around. go to the mother-ovulatory forum with your year-old, in a decent society this is called a year-old child.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №138969
 19.02.2017
What if they knew!by :

The post of Russia trolls either itself or people. Established Post-Bank, but not accepting card payments. at all. Even a post bank card.

The postal bank has the same relationship to the Russian Post as Donald Dac has with Pablo Escobar. This is the Summer Bank in sheep skin, shorter, and dumb rents two squares at the post office. Pensioners are unfortunately

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №138968
 19.02.2017
Tagged with: win_vs_nix

Could you say here an ordinary aunt who walks around our planet to the fig and more? You can, yeah? For me, the computer is a tool. I need it to get information, to work with texts and photographs, and to play single toys like Civilization or Cherubim. Maybe the movie sometimes see how the mood will be. I don’t want anything more from this technique. Well, I can manually identify several errors from BSOD and understand what to do next, independently assemble my computer / replace something from the inside and put the OS, but persistently and, as they say, fully immersed in the settings of this OS - let go. It works quickly and glucose-free – well, it’s great, let it work as long as possible. Therefore, your shit sometimes reminds me of the mocking of stubborn children under the shout of "I am a fool and even more stupid!" Sorry if I offended anyone.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138967
 19.02.2017
Commentary from Picaboo
xxxxxxxxxxx:
My cat finds any unnecessary closed door in the house and stands by her until you get up from the bed and open it, and if there is no door, she will ask you to open the door into the underground.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138966
 19.02.2017
The fearful is not the one who understands and understands under "Ghbdtn", but the one who understands under "U,lny" - "Ghbdtn".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138965
 19.02.2017
The queen sleeps with the maids.
There is no queen, there are no princesses, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess, there is no princess.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138964
 19.02.2017
(About an excessively annoying caregiver.)
Neradence: Yes, my strength is no longer. Can I give him a mirror?
Mother: To admire him in him like a puppy? Surely he will not be before you, he will be finely occupied with himself.
Neradence: You know, I really wanted him to look at himself carefully, but I like your option even more...

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