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[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137941
 18.01.2017
xxx writes at home black metal

xxx: I have a cat very worried when I chew)
XXX: Mewoking begins...panic...this panic mewoking))
XXX: Then you have to calm down.
XXX: And then that kindness becomes (he understands that I’m not crazy anyway)
XXX: It is indescribable
xxx: I wonder what he feels when I write vocals)

The [...]
My cat really loves me 😉
I was sitting in the headphones, writing vocals).. I feel my legs... he stood on my shoulder and tried to whisper in my ear)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137940
 18.01.2017
Someone is afraid of microbes on an apple... and someone worked on a vegetable base and saw what these apples are processing for safety.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №137939
 18.01.2017
He returned home now. He got into the tram and flew into a free seat.

The car is half empty. In front of me stood a man with a baby in his arms. He looks at the baby and says to him:

So, my son, listen to me carefully. No more taking my car without permission. And if you take, please let her stand in my yard in the morning. Do you understand?

The baby smiles, cries and seems to agree. But the man is not pleased with it. He almost cried out to the child:

Just tell me: did you understand it or not?

And then I realize that the man’s roof has gone, and he, by the way, has a baby in his arms. I even started to think about what to do in such cases...

It is good that the man suddenly cried out, “Everything, so far!” He pulled the headphone out of his ear.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №137938
 18.01.2017
I load in the luggage of a taxi cargo (without boxing pears - all kinds of books there, albums, etc.). We go. I say to the driver, “I’ve never seen such exemplary order in the trunk. You are a cautious man.” He looked at me. He smiled, “Do you find it?” “I find.” “Well then listen.” He came by call - there are two guys in costumes and cravates. You need to drive on some deaf street - but it is profitable for money. They arrived. One of the guys puts a pistol with an extinguisher on him and invites him into the trunk. I had to climb. and silence. There were no mobile phones, by the way. The luggage was packed and we left. And in the luggage compartment - a reserve, a house cutter, a lap, etc. All this rests on the back, presses, and even thoughts all kinds of bad slides. “Will they kill something?” “Tomb, I wonder if they’ll be forced to dig? Or so?”... Long drive, much he changed his mind in the darkness and disorder. He put all the sides and filled the knives. have stopped. Long had to wait. Then the trunk opened, and the stars were on the sky. He came out of the luggage. “You’re sorry, brother – we needed an uninvited car for the “shooter.” Keep it here,” and they give him $500. had to take. I went home not remembering myself. The next day, the suitcase was in perfect order. I put a pillow, a blanket. Dinner and all that. This is where the order comes from.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137937
 18.01.2017
One day the wardrobe in the kitchen hanged, a couple of times a burr in the perforator changed hands all black. Neither soap nor dishwasher washes this dirt. Okay, I found Pemolux powdered, deret skin, but cleaned everything.
ууу: So I see the advertisement with Valuev:"Pemolux-male scraper for hands!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137936
 18.01.2017
Here is this:

Today the verifying customs officer dug up and in the final issued:
What do you think is smarter than us?
What are you! I answer me. I have fewer chromosomes.
He did not understand, even smiled proudly.
It hurts me (

Reminds me of the army saying:
- Something you are, comrade of soldiers, very clever!
Who is? and I?
Well not me!! to

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №137935
 18.01.2017
Where is the printer now?
Tagged: 404
Zzzz: You do not know?
XXX or not?
Room 404: What a wonderful room. No one can find it.)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137934
 18.01.2017
Daughter (D) at dinner complains to Dad (P) and Mom about school:
D: Tired of these lessons, you sit, all 45 minutes "ha-haha", "gighi-gighi". Then "HIGH-HIGH"... and so on all 8 lessons...
There are no normal teachers at school.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №137933
 18.01.2017
A lie that satisfies everyone is called an infallible truth.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137932
 18.01.2017
I like strong black tea, without any additives, "without anything." I don’t often drink tea from bags, but sometimes it happens. Usually a more or less decent replacement is Lipton, yellow label, but recently something has become a "wrong taste."
And here from the distant lands brought me tea in bags. I was extremely skeptical at first about the completely unfamiliar brand, but I drank the first cup - and appreciated it! Normal strong tea, almost not inferior to the cooked in the teaspoon!
I’m not going to advertise, I’ll stock myself first :-)
After studying the tea boxes, I understood what is the fundamental difference between this tea and Lipton.
"Tasteful" brand - 80 bags, total weight of tea - 250 grams, in one bag - more than 3 g of tea.
Lipton 25 bags, 50 grams of tea, in one bag - only 2 g of tea!
I looked at other teas - there are 1.6, and 1.5 g in a bag...
The Tea Manufacturers!
I want to quote the classics:
“The Jews! Don’t regret the stumbling!” and c)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №137931
 18.01.2017
Clean not where you clean, but where you don’t waste.
So the courtier threw out the hammer and bought a gun.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137930
 18.01.2017
I load in the luggage of a taxi cargo (without boxing pears - all kinds of books there, albums, etc.). We go. I say to the driver: "I have never seen such exemplary order in the trunk. You’re a very accurate ". He looked at me. He smiled and said, “Do you find it?” "I found it" "Well then listen to" He came by call - there are two guys in costumes and cravates. You need to drive on some deaf street - but it is profitable for money. They arrived. One of the guys puts a pistol with an extinguisher on him and invites him into the trunk. I had to climb. and silence. There were no mobile phones, by the way. The luggage was packed and we left. And in the luggage compartment - a reserve, a house cutter, a lap, etc. All this rests on the back, presses, and even thoughts all kinds of bad slides. "Do you want to kill someone?!" "The grave, I wonder, will be forced to dig? For a long time, he was traveling, and he had changed his minds in the darkness and disorder. He put all the sides and filled the knives. have stopped. Long had to wait. Then the trunk opened, and the stars were on the sky. He came out of the luggage. "You’re sorry, brother – we needed the "shooter" car unintended. Hold this ", and give him $500. had to take. I went home not remembering myself. The next day, the suitcase was in perfect order. I put a pillow, a blanket. Dinner and all that. This is where the order comes from.

c) Blocks of Vitaly.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137929
 18.01.2017
C: Pipetz, again the person who paid for the booking from the site did not come to play. What to do?
Q: Can we just add the "Donation" button? and :)
A: Or send us a message: "Congratulations, you are posted in the section of Our Messengers"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №137928
 18.01.2017
Maybe it was irony. Even if not... Not everywhere, you know, the cleaners of the villages and the Tajiks work.

We have a former translator, a headmaster, a gentleman and a bride who works in one person in the dining room. Before retirement, I went to a cooking school. In fact, we talked to her in the cigarette. To my natural question, she stretched well and answered something like "that it went all in the ass...". Well, in short, went to work for the soul, lived to a hundred years already earned.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137927
 18.01.2017
What about your department today? 😉
YYY: Did you hear the trainees accept?
XXX: And what?
Yyy: Planerka, Andreich is late, comes in. Tolik the trainee - this is, in a way, your teacher. Go on business trips together, gain experience, etc. Andreich looks at the trainee from his two meters and gives a maneuverable bass - "Tolik, I asked a blonde, why did you fuck someone?"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №137926
 18.01.2017
I cannot stand:

Timor was called. Otherwise it is Tamerlan.
He had a younger brother. You can guess how he’s called.

Is it Amur? 0 0 0

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №137925
 18.01.2017
The director suddenly came to me.
It happened that I worked...
What brilliant successes have you achieved?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №137924
 18.01.2017
Why, when I enter the word "block" on the computer, am I given among the first anal blocks? I had not noticed this before.
See also: Hz
Oh, guess, you told me about some surprise, tell me that’s not what I think.
Theme of (

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №137923
 18.01.2017
My dad told a friend. From the acquaintance:

New Year’s guests arrived. During the celebration, I realized that I drank too much. I was advised to take a shower, water would help a little. I went to the bathroom and decided not to take a shower, but to lie in the bathroom. I picked up a little warm water, went down and lay down. I did not notice how he fell asleep. After a while I wake up, it was dark, I don’t remember. It freezes like a dog. I drive my hands in the dark, I feel the tiles. The first thought: “Morg? “!” I drive further - a bath, a little water. “I’ve already washed!” I screamed out of fear.

The wife runs and asks, “Why are you nuts, fool?”

It turned out, after the celebration, the guests broke up, she went to the bathroom and saw that he fell asleep. Wake up failed. He dropped the water from the bathroom and turned off the light.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №137922
 18.01.2017
About the Google Maps error in Kaliningrad:
How to get to McDonald’s?
Look in front of the Gestapo.

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