Just don't call late.We are at 11 a.m., our wife cuts everything, even wi-fi.
WOW: And you too?

I remember the flight bus Kyiv – Hannover. I left Kiev at 6 a.m., I broke up after lunch and went to the toilet (I don't really like to do this in the transport, so I tolerate it until the last). I go to the toilet, or to the place that is called the toilet: the ceiling is made so that a person with a height above 190 cm can not approach face to face, because the ceiling is steep with a scratch to the side of the glass.
I go in and think, pigs are people. Everything is broken down - and the chair, and the floor, and the walls, and even the matte window above the point. Taking the hand for sustainability is not for nothing. The cape. Once you come, you have to do something.
I approach as close as possible to the toilet, turn the upper part of the body back as much as possible to get to the precious hole, and in such a ridiculous posture I relax the muscles.
As soon as the process went, our driver, this bunch of hundreds of horses, began to make a maneuver of overtaking. The bus jumped to the side (it took me back), then to the other side (it dragged me forward), then it pushed on the gas, then... In general, I dropped the fence, the floor, the walls, and even the matte window above the toilet.
I came out of there with the same thought: what kind of people are pigs...

XHH: Don’t get the right. So many fools on the roads.
One of them, I

x: "musical" are you serious? This is something like "varenic" or "belly") And in Central Asia, probably, "smuzhan"? and ;)

Virtuous accuracy of uninhabited objects.
In my lifetime, a young specialist had to live in shelters, where the furniture in the room was only an old bed. The cup of tea was placed directly on the floor.
Two phones committed suicide after entering the room, I started robbing them, trying to catch them, and in the process of a beautiful parable I sent them straight into that same cup. And they were different rooms, different circles and different (obviously) phones.
In short, the technique didn’t like me.

Decided once the test of the type was unnecessary, - there were 4 images: a aircraft, an air snake, a balloon and a sailor. removed the drive. He led to the hysteria of the psychologist, explaining the difference between the engine and the engine. The department recommended a more comprehensive examination. by ANON

Dog: This is, by the way, the advertisement: "Buy a gun, and you will not be able to withhold your salary impunely" I think it will be very relevant.
AU-Ratnikov: Moreover, for a few years, and if you are lucky, then for a lifetime, you will be exempt from taxes, will be fed and drunk for free, housing will also be covered, and even the armed guard will be allocated for free.
Dog: Well enough several cases in a row and delaying the salary will simply not be accepted.

XHX: Watching the "Star Wars" Exodus 1, the idea arose that the script was made according to the rules of epic RPG. A group of multi-haired heroes go on a long journey for a great purpose (practically to save the world). The truth of patha turned out to be a bit eclectic: a warrior, a thief, a robot, a monk and a special for the pursuit. The gunman (granate gunman) Directly I see the writer, separating himself from the IMO, shouting: “Evrika, they need a monk!”

Realized talent is when the hobby and the profession coincide.

The Old Majak

I once again visited the doctor of historical sciences, Professor Maria Sergeevna.
I always turn to it when urgent consultation is needed on a complex historical issue, and the Internet is absolutely unaware of the matter.
Maria Sergeevna - a little seventy-five-year-old old woman with an eternal "belo-morina" in her teeth, not taking the papyrus out of her mouth and managing not to burn, she kissed me in her cheek, took a cake and took her to the room.
Twenty minutes later, an old man, the husband of Maria Sergeevna, looked at us. He greeted and, shut his nose, said dissatisfied:

- Masha, you're fine, but why do you smoke a guest like that, look, he's already all green from your smoke.

The old lady got up from her chair, approached her husband, cleverly rolled the papyrus in her mouth, made a solemnly sad face and suddenly began to portray small swimming movements with her hands, like brass.
The old man looked very strictly, then unexpectedly laughed, kissed his wife in the forehead, said, "Masha, you are a dordana" and left the room.
We returned to our Persian kings, but Mary Sergeevna suddenly interrupted me and said:

"But from the outside I really looked like a dumb: my husband doesn't like my tobacco smoke, and I show him - swim, say, from here.
In fact, it is a very ancient story. One day, more than forty years ago, my husband and I went wild to Crimea on Zaporozhye. It was our wedding trip. The rocks, the sea, the tent, around no soul. The Beauty. What else to wish?
Unnoticed a month passed and the last evening came, in the morning at dawn you need to leave. The hour of night, the moon behind the clouds, the sea is light. While I was sleeping, my husband decided to take a little bath at last and say goodbye to the sea. He is now swimming like a fish, and then he was the captain of the university waterfield team. Swimming, therefore, my husband three hundred meters, lying on the water, sinking, feeling - it became cold, it would be time to return.
But then he realized that after diving, he did not really think - where is the horizon, and where is the shore? Where to swim? In the darkness, you can’t even see your own hands. I tried to swim with zigzags, suddenly the shore is spotted, and where there are no indicators, there were no zigzags, and it is not known what. I tried to scream, too, no matter, our tent behind the hill, and even the wind is whistling. Crying is not screaming, only wasting strength. And until dawn is still very far, it is unrealistic to last, you will freeze. In other words, it is a tube.
And here, when my poor husband had already begun to say goodbye to life, suddenly, far or far, he noticed a rescue light: and it was his beloved young wife Maria Sergeevna who woke up and rushed to the sea to smoke, away from the tent, so that the strict, non-smoking husband would not stumble.
And when he, half-lived, rolled off to the shore, floated, rested, then in joy he vowed to never again in his life, until the end of his days, will not blame me for smoking.
While it seems to hold...

To all who survived the five months of winter, the sixth is a gift.

The Old School Strategy of the Middle Ages

How to extract iron?
Yyy: You just have to get ridder out of it.

I stayed for a night with a friend who is a vegetarian among colleagues. In the evening, we ate the fruit and vegetables (separately). As a result, most of the vegetables were in my plate. On the question, and why then she was recorded at herbivore work, she shared that she doesn't like to cut meat - to say, slippery, unpleasant to mess. So the secret of where vegetarians come from is simple – they become those who have not been able to overcome lazyness...well or especially lazy creatures.

"From buying chickens, I am separated only by the need to cut them in time. I think, I doubt, I try to find a volunteer
They are so rarely stupid, it’s not a pity, you’ll break yourself.
Seven years ago, after a trip to the south, we decided to name the pigs that we will ever have - Saratov Haishnik and Mias Haishnik. It was not a pity to break. Friends were enthusiastic and called their pigs Juvenalka and Policeman. I have since expanded the list of names for pigs.

If I exclude from my menu those products that do not recommend a gastroenterologist, cardiologist, neurologist, endocrinologist and urologist, then I can only eat water and then boiled.

What is the secret of my impeccable style and exquisite taste?
A simple rule: Wear what the cat does not sleep on.

Would Lenin wake up if a beautiful prince kissed him?

A friend you haven’t seen for a long time and go to visit: Do you eat meat?
We are: Yes. But we can and cannot eat, we are tolerant of gastronomic minorities!

XXX: I say to the guy: open the sheet, take the first Aitem, in it this field go to Google
XXX: he gives me a screenshot of the sheet and says, I discovered, which aitem is here first?
XXX and there is one.
Chapter 8: One Fucks
XXX: I tell him, well, you count them from top to bottom, which one will be the first and take them.
XXX is gone.

xxx: I also tried to press two such humanoids in the electric car. I thought I was small and I couldn’t get rid of it.
For this reason you have been given eggs by nature, so that we may be cut off from you.