In the confession:
“Father, I am a sinner: I was drinking, I was drinking, I was wandering.
I know, my daughter.
from where?! to
Subscribe to your Instagram.

If you see in the subway a person who reads a book, and his face at the same time "Do not enter - will kill", you can not go to the puzzle: the book is devoted to positive thinking.

"The son of Arshavin was a daughter".

Daddy was missing...

The main problem of the Russian people is that it is common to be proud of Gagarin, not Queen.

In Israel, everyone serves in the army, and periodically is called for fees. And at the same time, they do not clean with toothbrushes, but serve, and their weapons are not in the armor under the lock, but on the shoulder, when they go home from the service in the evening.

And to serve, as to go to work, and to shoot will be given, and on a tank to ride, and a gun with you, but from such an army you will not pull your ears away.

#meow

Hold yourself for the tail, naturalists are crazy... But as behind the ear to scratch, there is no one.

Two workers are watching the rat.
Look, she snatches something... Buy her seeds?
Which bottles? I can give a cable from the phone.
KHH: No-no-no, you don’t have to teach them to lead.

by Spikabu:

The story happened to my brother. He was operated and administered general anesthesia, according to his words.
I open my eyes, and I see myself from above, as I am lying on a catwalk and all. A feeling of panic, a bunch of thoughts in the head. Thinking everything, the soul goes to the right place. But everything became clear when the nurse hung over him. It turned out that after a successful operation, he was taken to the chamber on a catallic and transported to the desired floor by elevator. And the designer of the elevator decided that the mirror ceiling will stand better than ever.

Hubr, comments on the translation "If carpenters were hired in the same way as programmers"
A good carpenter knows his tail as his five fingers, and a bad man as his three fingers.
Perfect as your twenty fingers! The average person has two arms, two legs and five fingers on each of these limbs. And the phrase about his five fingers was apparently invented by some disabled man!
Not a disabled, but a highly specialized worker. Of all the diversity of his fingers, he knows 5 of them perfectly, with the remaining 15 fingers he just had to encounter in other projects...
444: Then, twenty one finger.
555: Sexual discrimination
666: Do you have... a finger there?
777: Chernobyl, Hiroshima, all affairs

From false science television broadcasts:
The xxx:
The problem is not in the "question". The problem of education. To educate and inject culture is necessary for a person from childhood to death. And in difficult years, it is easier to pair up any heresy. Uncontrolled frictions on TV. Under capitalism, demand does not generate supply, but supply is aggressively imposed on the consumer. This has long been understood. Let me give an example. In the years of the WOW, our people lived as hard. But the management kept the educational work under control. Scientific work on many areas unrelated to war was not even stopped. The whole country was bleeding. But in the calm and saturated 80s, active advertising of religion and anti-scientific ideas began. All this was used for quick and easy enrichment.
YYYY :
If you let a person go, do not control him in any way, he will immediately slide into a hole, that is, turn into an ordinary, insecure animal. In order for him to go to the mountain, he needs to be pushed there, and it is best to drive him with his pencil. In order not to get an extra penalty, he will start to optimize the climb, invent any useful on the way up, improve the climb, and still get to the top.

"Do not harm-glycine prescribe and take care." quote from one doctor

How to make a husband a jewel?
He is a jewel. The serpent is called.

xxx: No, you still have to print on the T-shirt "nain". How much is sadness worth?

Sadness in Russia is free.

In one house on the outskirts of the balcony of the 3rd floor was hanging a fur toy with a rope attached to the neck. Then I realized that this was a toy.The enot was brightly red.The real cat dropped the toy several times and hanged it out.

In general, you should always try to think positively, because it is only on the one hand, the bad head does not give the feet peace, but on the other hand, movement is life.

In any team, especially if it consists of 90% of the weaker sex, there must be a "curiosity Barbary". She needs to know everything. Who, with whom, where, when and how. Because not discussing someone else’s life, decorating it with your fantasies is boring.

Our is no exception.

But the female majority is diluted by several men, one of them is my husband. Our cabinets are across the wall, and of course we eat lunch together. Lunch I take in a small litre thermos, ordinary, with a metal surface, something reminiscent of a military projectile. We call it the bullet.

Lunch time is slowly approaching, and thoughts are only about food. The husband looks into the office and asks, “Well, carry a 150-mm projectile?”

It seems to me to be smaller in diameter, and I say, bear, of course... at this point, the Cabinet is entering the “Curiosity Barbary,” and I continue:

“No, what 15 centimeters? There are 10 of the power! "

The barbarians, not knowing what they are talking about, listen with interest. My husband gets a line from my desk, and says, I am now measuring and telling exactly. It comes out. Barbarians’ eyes glow from curiosity.

After a few seconds, the husband comes in and says proudly - measured! 10 cm! I get to the comic of the situation, the "Barbara" disappointedly looks at my faithful and asks, "Only 10 cm? "

“That is in diameter!” My husband answered misunderstood.

You could see her eyes...

Technical support from accounting:
My flash is not opened again. I brought it from home...
Sappport: Probably a virus has settled on your flash drive again, and the antivirus does not allow you to open it.
Where can I open it? Who has no antivirus?? to

Yesterday I listened to the radio, where the theme of the hour was: "Tell me, what strange taxi drivers or just drivers did you have to drive with?"

The guy called, then with his words:

We went on a geological tour (in the beginning, I think, it’s already fine). In general, we catch a hole, somewhere under the caluga. We were three, no one has stopped for an hour. Suddenly a man comes in a motorcycle with a wheelchair and says:

- Boys, sit down, but I will not put anyone in the wheelchair, there is a plant.

Well, we both sat behind the man, the third friend sat on top of the wheelchair, so as not to hinder the plantation to go to the country. They touched, and 10 minutes later, at a speed of 60 km/h, the man turned to us and said:

You are good at going on trips. I would be sober, no matter what I would put you in jail.

I remembered working in a cellular salon and a client came to me with a request to set up him on the tablet for a football app. And he was sick for the same team that I liked as a child. Well, I think I will make him a bonus all the adjustments. 10 minutes of training, training.

The client says, “What do you owe it?”

I say that nothing, still people do not, consider it a gift. He was pleased and left. But five minutes later, he returned, gave me a key with the number 7 on it, and went away thanking me.

I was a little surprised what that meant. But then I looked at the brick and there was the name of the store. The key was from the box where the bags are left before entering the store.

Quests have begun!

Well I decided to walk before this shop (was not far from the salon), because it is an intrigue!! to

I came to the store, found a box, put in the key, open the door and... There is a couple of beers and some snacks.

What to say) It was a good bonus for me at the end of the working day and a very original layout)

If the cat, while observing the birds from the window, fix the tail - it will begin to vibrate relative to the tail!