bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №138623
 09.02.2017
HGH is a mystery. If it rains at 12 a.m., can you assume that in 72 hours there will be sunny weather?
YYY: It can be.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH In 72 hours it will also be midnight, there will be no sunshine.
YYY: Boy, everything can be done. You did not live in Murmansk.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138622
 09.02.2017
I set my alarm clock early in the morning to run. I turned off the alarm at 5 a.m. and went to sleep, but I dreamed I was running. In principle I am satisfied.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №138621
 09.02.2017
I was 17. From the first salary I bought a big brother as a gift. I am in the city, my brother is in the village, 120 km. I don’t seem to be an athlete, even though I’m not an athlete. Give me, I think, your way.

I remembered from school that the great rides 20 km / h, counted 6 hours of driving. Oh, what to go there. In order not to breathe the traffic jams and not quite to drive in the heat, started at 6 in the morning.

The first 60 kilometers were wonderful. Sunshine, may, the machines bicycle, encouraging. True, I’ve been driving for 5 hours... It’s only in the textbooks that points move straight.

Then came the circle of hell. I did not look at the forecast, and the first round was the rain. Luckily, I took the laundry to the laundry and wrapped it in.

Then came hunger. I thought I’d go to my grandmother’s barbecue for lunch. And the money was all under me, there was no food. There were 35 km to the house.

When the forces seemed to have exhausted, and the darkness could hide me, shame, from rare cars, I tried to sleep on the side in a bunch of seed. The bed with you. But the mosquitoes are already awake, warm up and hint that I have a lot of strength :)

We arrived in the village at 10 p.m. He dragged the device to the second floor, frightened his grandmother and went to bed for a day.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138620
 09.02.2017
Knowledge does not compensate for a lack of mind.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №138617
 09.02.2017
I worked 6-7 years ago in the company of a city provider on technical support.

One beautiful spring evening a girl calls. The girl, I am.

I: Support, I listen to you

Hello, I don’t have the internet. Usually, when I call you, everything goes well. Do not put the phone, please? And then oh! It worked, thank you.

I : Please.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №138616
 09.02.2017
I used to work with an Internet service provider. A woman, in the age of 50-55 years. Internet does not work on the laptop. Next in the dialogue: I - I; K - the client.



I am a tech support, hello, I listen to you.

Hello, give me the internet!

(as it happens, in the bad customers and the voice corresponding, ugly... in general, the classic)

Then I find out her contract number, and I see on the home appliance that her cable is not connected.

I - Your internet cable seems to have gone away, or your laptop is turned off, can you check?

A young man! Do not make nonsense! Am I really stupid? ! to The laptop is on and the internet is charged. Why does not work? ! to

I am...

K –...!

I am...?

Q. Why are you silent? ! to

What does it mean to be charged on the internet? Do you have a network cable connected to your computer?

I was connected when I was home. He stood with your shit cable all night, charging it! The internet had to go! I am in the Dutch right now!) And if I don’t have the internet in a minute, I’ll break the contract with your company!

I am :0



par-par-pam fuyut ¯\(ツ)/¯

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138615
 09.02.2017
His colleague worked as an engineer for a long time (completely successful), having a humanitarian cortex. Finally, I decided to learn, I spent 3 years in the evening, closed the final session and was about to graduate. But! He is promoted to the position of “Specialist on Contract Matters” and now works as a lawyer without a bark of lawyer. So we live.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №138614
 09.02.2017
Hicks, discussion of fake characteristics of laptops

The xxx:
Level 2 Cache (in each core) 256 kgB
What is this unit of measurement? I never met.

YYYY :
It is KGB. There are other bits)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №138613
 09.02.2017
Dashka (4 years) says: Dad, the microbes are good, right?
I : Why?
D: Well, they help us get rid of the kindergarten, the school, and the workplace.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138612
 09.02.2017

here here :
I also had a case in a networked supermarket at home: the cashier asked what the name of the vegetable I put on her tape was. Vegetables were ripe, and the case took place in Moscow, in the Russian capital. That is, the cashier not only was not oriented in the goods of the store, but was generally poorly erudited.

Maybe she grew on the asphalt, and she only knows ripples from a child's fairy tale, she could not recognize ripples in this tiny yellow ripples.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №138611
 09.02.2017
Dutch artist Margrethe van Brifort, the author of Zhdan, visited the Russian embassy yesterday. It turns out that Russian bloggers convinced her.
And she signed a copyright donation, but only for statues and statuettes that will be installed in the branches and branches of these institutions.
I was asked to give copyright. The Russians convinced me that these objects in Russia are practically branches of hell on Earth. And the gift is required to make your some of the most famous "copyrast" (I pronounced right?) He did not demand any of his own and for some reason "legal" 1%. Therefore, let my Dwarfs stand with you in the offices of the Post of Russia and Sberbank, as well as in the clinics (near the terminals of electronic rows and the rows to the terminals of electronic rows)!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138610
 09.02.2017
From under the evil black helmet a heavy breath was heard and the club of the couple was falling.

He was the Dark Lord Darth Viper.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138609
 09.02.2017
From chat in battle:
XXX: The enemy in the rear! I am here alone!
Does anyone wash?
YYY: We are cleaning up.
XXX will help :)
YYY: Everyone was washed and wiped. and :)
XXX: The SP

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138608
 09.02.2017
Advice from Legal Advice:
The promised 3 years are waiting, and then the limitation period expires

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №138607
 09.02.2017
XXX: The fate has struck you into the sellers.

I am an eagle! I make my own fate! by WOT!

Oh, the new gate

Tagged: shrinkage

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138606
 09.02.2017
xxx: and here she goes in, hangs, sits on the shelf, and gives: oh, and I had exactly the same frog, I gave it to someone... (pause) and, well, sure. to you.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138605
 09.02.2017
[13:16:26] Stepan Bakonin: You can go to the movie next week and then to me)
[13:16:35] Stepan Bakonin: Like a grandmother glue)
[13:16:46] Pavel Belov: In fact, he The work of Doha
[13:16:55] Pavel Belov: and I am like I am breaking up like a grandmother))
[13:17:00] Stepan Bakonin: a cowboy

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138604
 08.02.2017
I,, in the modern trends is not very, but it was traditionally believed that in the uniforms educate a calm, cold-blooded and diligent attitude to the process, and the aggressiveness is pushed and taught to control.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №138603
 08.02.2017
Life and Events

Few people know that a trolleybus with compressed horns can overwhelm a gazelle, and with raised ones can resist larger animals - kamazs. The stacks are able to overwhelm the belaz and even a stepping excavator.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138602
 08.02.2017
I suppose

>>>In Novosib on the streets recently observed a disgusting phenomenon: decently dressed people swear for 10-20-30 rubles. under foolish pretext (not enough for travel, for bread, etc.)).<<<<

Yes, participating in the next training on business / spirit / confidence in selfishness (need to be emphasized). Those of you who have started pickups have not been hunted.

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