I remember a story that was a few years ago.
The student begins her report and says literally the following:
As the great Russian poet Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy wrote.
Guess it, I say. Have you read Tolstoy’s poems?
Oh yes! - she cries out with the traditional student intonation "how could I forget" and begins again:
As the great Russian poet and writer Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy wrote.

That’s why 15 minutes is the maximum for a unsuccessful date. Would you have to say what you think about your lost time?

No, you should have read to the end what you respond to so angrily. The girl did not demand "to get married once came on a date". She would just like to read the neutral "sorry, you’re not in my taste" BEFORE a man who didn’t appreciate her started putting her on blacklists.

There sits such a b-g and thinks: Let me make this guy unbelieving and with a sense of humor, and if he will not believe in me or joke about me, to his hell!

(In the community about BADs and spices, a picture of a dried octopus in spices has been placed)
...
Xx: Look at how it came out!
Yy: Xx, hide the picture under the floor.
Xx Why? My image does not violate the rules of the community!
Yy: She is disgusting.
Zz: Yy, you have a rat on your uzerpike.

In the Moscow Komsomolce, there are only a few idiots.

This was clear for a long time, but today they have surpassed themselves:

Today at 12-20

The US and DPRK are ready to “punish” North Koreans in the event of provocations.

I come home in the woods. I start to dress up, make a lot of noise and quietly rejoice that I live alone. I whisper from the soul! Loud and matte.
Remember the anecdotes that nothing is as scary as in an empty apartment to hear "Be healthy"? So I heard... I trembled instantly, put off the brick... But it was just a friend who lives with me because of the repair. Which I woke up with. And what I forgot about ((

Talk about straws.
I had enough to feed them.
Was it dropped?
Yes, it was ambiguous...
Just think in the eyes of a chicken.
Zzz: Struts have more eyes than their brains. What do you want from them?
WOW: Well they may have as computing computers in the video card passes.

What is Lentach?
Another youth publication.
I would ask what a publicity is, but I fear it will raise more questions.
- Publique, this is a reduction in the name of Pablo (Picasso)
Maybe Pablo or Picasso. And Publique is definitely Frozen.
And Morozov is the USSR.
I wonder what the USSR is.

People often have their ears open only for what they want to hear.

Preamble in the form of an anecdote: From tomorrow you will be reduced salary! Working hours will be increased! Every tenth will be hanged. (Applause, question: “Do you bring your rope or will the trade union provide it?”)

A year or two ago. Strong accountant consultant (consultant for pleasure and development-working). A woman of pre-retirement age comes to choose a tax system to register her beloved as an IP for the trade in confectionery snacks. The next dialogue, not literally:
Bush: What would you want?
Register as an individual entrepreneur and decide on the tax system.
Have you worked in trade before?
Woman: Yes, I have been selling candy and candy snacks for many years. I rent a room in a network store of 15 m2, vitrine, cubes. (On the outskirts of the city)
In other words, do you work as a salesman for someone?
Woman: No, in the sense of itself. One in one face.
As an IP or Jur. The face?
No, not without registration.
How did you conclude a contract with the tenant?
The woman: No way. I count in cash.
But what about checks?
No one has ever checked.
Why did you need to register now if you have been running a business without registration for many years?
Women: - But now there is so much talk about entrepreneurs everywhere and that they will help them.
Bush: That is, you have been working for many years, trading, no one checks you, no interest in you and you decided to formalize?
The woman: Yes.
Bush: By law, the fine for illegal business activities is 500 rubles... Woman, go away, go and work on quietly.

Life is not sugar. Everyone has difficult times, there is a lack of money. But we do not complain! We survive as we can. Everyone in the family works. I make home soap, it is eager to buy. A man crafts easy furniture for sale. For example, taburets are in demand.
“Well, and your children, should you think, are they wearing ropes?”

My friends also once in a crowd traveled around the houses from a drinking establishment in a taxi. One of them, the last, fell asleep on the back seat. The driver did not see her. I got home, put the car in the garage, and the garage closed. A secular alcoholic woman woke up in the middle of the night, could not get out of the garage on her own and began to signal to call for help. The driver was in shock. It ended well and I took her home. The girl stopped drinking.

And in the future, to create a user account with limited rights is more such a witchcraft, which is only available to BG!

I wonder if many people besides me have read "BG" as "Boris Grebenchikov".

Is it really not so? O_O

On a cold day.

I put on winter boots and now I’ll jump like a horse.
Do you mean a horse? and ;)
No, the horse, I think, is jumping more delicately. I will jump like a horse.

Gray: The fact that we will soon live well, we hear from those who already live well.

Alex guys! Christ has risen!
Christ: What have you achieved?! to

The world’s first International Cannabis Church opens in Colorado. Members of the new religious movement, calling themselves Elevationists, believe that people need to gather together and explore the universe and the mysteries of life through the ritual smoking of grass.

Comments to the article on the release of electrical blankets and electrical blankets.
Sedov: I don't know how the others are, but my wife gets a comfortable temperature from me and doesn't need any mattresses with heating )))
We have another information... your wife receives a comfortable temperature from a neighbor!
Neighbor: I declare without false modesty that the lady is always satisfied.

Master Handjob: I, in principle, can translate if someone gives me a reference to an untranslated edition.
xxx: Judging by your niche, the quality of the translation will not be very high.

I go to the aquapark on a subscription. I talked to a 6-7 year old boy there.

- And I thought in the water park only children go, well, or children with parents. Why is this an adult aquapark?

Swimming is good for health. There are also baths and hot water. For example, I want to lose weight.

He looked at me for a moment:

You are not fat at all. The average fat.