I sit and play, I don’t touch anyone. The wife approaches, embraces and shows the test with two strips, condemning: "this in Parents, I created"

The snow fell today.
Egor: Arina, I was told that you wanted to come to the office on sandals?
Arina : Of course.
On a deer with bubbles?
Arina: Of course with the bubbles. Who needs a donkey without a bucket?! to

Perception of masculinity in some characters: the more a man cares about his appearance to please girls, the more he looks like a p@$&a; real men will not do with his appearance something that may not like his no less courageous friends. I see a suspicious discrepancy here. and ;)

Tomassina: a brilliant discovery: "Especially in-demand methods of design of eyebrows became with the development of Instagram". Where do historians look? Judging by the makeup of Tutankhamun and Cleopatra, in ancient Egypt there was a tactful Instagram!

They went through the company and conducted a short psychotest. You approach a person and say - "Respond quickly, without thinking. Who are you?" Self-identification - someone answers "man", someone "secretary", someone "father". "Tomato" of course it was too. And only Leonid Yakovlevich (a very good person) answered "See Where". Voland was right – "Blood is a great thing"

The Trolleybus Drift
Personally, in his youth, he had to ride a trolley bus, when he fell into a seemingly no-going situation: there was an accident on the road in front of him, the cars were rubbed side by side. The first two tracks were occupied. The road was wide and not so popular, so there was no traffic jams. Just two cars in front. I already had time to grieve that the rest of the road would have to go differently, but the driver, instead of stopping, began to increase speed. I was interested. As a result, just before the accident, he sharply turned the steering wheel to the left, jumped out on the third strip, the horns of the trolleybus, of course, for such a manoeuvre were not designed and jumped off the wires, but the speed he gained was enough to inertly drive through the accident and return to his lane. After that, the driver calmly went out, fixed the horns and continued the movement as in nothing. So is!

Unwashed men

I will tell you the secret alone. Guys listen to me. The more cared for a woman (a man, however, too), the greater the likelihood that she is very rude. This is generally the cause and effect, laxity -> elimination of the cause of irritation -> care. Painful manifestations, such as washing hands every 10 minutes, are not taken into account.
You know, it is very difficult to experience excitement when you spend all your energy in suppressing the vomiting reflex. Some sort of non-sexual mood attacks when all you can think about is, “How can you do so that you don’t touch this ugliness?”and "

Lustfulness is the oldest defense mechanism that ensured our survival. Especially for healthy offspring. So, dear men (and women), no matter how red you are, your prince/princess will run away from you rushing to the top if your pimples, odor, or hairiness coincide with the source of his craziness. Just accept this.

The whole modern world was born and created in Europe. All the main ideas of the modern world originate from Europe!
Do you think Avicenna is a German?
3 - By the way, Abu Ali Hussein ibn Abdulah ibn al-Hasan ibn Ali ibn Sina is a modern German name.)))

Homeopathy

The principle of homeopathy works only with a hammer. If in the morning drink a little of the same substance, the abuse of which the day before and led to this condition, then it really becomes better.

Homeopathy is when there is less than one molecule of the same substance per glass of water. For a glass of clean, cold water... no, stop, this option also works!

The Unknown

...why in the stories of the Unknown Dr. Pilulkin always treated everyone, even the healthy?
Why is?
He was a paid doctor.

They seemed to have no money, there was a kind of commune, they did not live on the moon.

Do you know how they built such a paradise on earth? They sent all the fools immediately to the moon on the first flight. And then, when the butterflies ended and for several generations did not meet, the secret of space flights was lost unnecessarily and subsequently rediscovered by Znajka.

Funny: my parents told me a couple of times on the occasion that, say, when you were a child, you believed that the nursery is a store where children are bought and paid with flowers. What’s fun, I remember that conversation. But: a) I was six years old, but it was better to shut down the "Health" magazine - I already had a process at that time; b) I was six years old - but I tried to CALL. Who is to blame the parents for accepting the words of a young child for a pure coin? and :)

- 2 animals in a salon weighing up to 8 kg together with transportation are registered
- two animals - yes, but it must be either 2 dogs or 2 cats, and Murka and Tuzik cannot be on the same flight
- 100 years have passed, and nothing has changed - the man with the swallow then also was not allowed on board, I had to save the wankino ring with a diligence

xxxx: She went to Georgia with a bunch of non-drinking vegans. And complained about the lack of praised Georgian hospitality.

And gradually my nightmares, which regularly tormented me from early childhood, went into the past.
Thank you, Pound, soft you grass and full of meat there behind the rainbow.

And my first cat healed me from an elderly (sic!) childhood insomnia. Before him I was afraid that I would not fall asleep, from this I wept all night. Naturally I did not sleep.
And the whirling piece under the blanket at every turn reminded me of myself in a simple way: I turned myself and stood with straight hard legs right into my stomach. Every time I turned my cat with a soft back. As a result, I learned to turn quickly.

<xxx>I’m in the line to the box. I look at the cards.
<xxx>To the real man! From 23 February.
And although the star was Soviet, five-angle, the eye used to slide down in search of a tiny text, to check in what tooth, why the man is not quite real.

Just in a taxi. The taxi driver takes the telephone, then the monologue -
Hi, what are you cheering about?! to
Did you call me and get upset?! to
Didn’t you call me and fuck me?! to
Have you talked to me and cheated?! to
“Aha, you called me, you got to another number, you were upset that you didn’t talk to me, and you laughed?! to
......
Is it my fault?!!! to

XXX: I have such a strange feeling now.
XXX: Imagine you are flying on a plane. And suddenly you find out that the engine is attached to the turbine with a rubber from the cowards.
xxx: I just read the ACPI docks and a very similar feeling arises
YYYY : YYYYYY What is there?
xxx: There is a description of the binary in BNF. There are cycles in it.
XXX: And also the windows parser bag. And iron manufacturers write ACPI for their iron on the principle of "on the screw works, it means it will go down"
xxx: Overall, 60% of tables do not meet the standard
YYY: Then it just seems to you that it’s rubbish from cowards. This rubber from cowards only by documentation and appearance. In fact, it is a rubber drawing from cowards printed on toilet paper.

I come to work in the morning. There is a girl, our manager, sitting in tears, spots and saliva, and with a lukewarm. I ask what happened? He tells us:

- I met a young man, dated there and so on, promised to Emirates in a month, a car to buy me, and it turned out that he works as an engineer in the factory. The poor shit. He still lives with his parents. It turned out that the apartment we met in was not his, but his uncle, who was on a business trip. The lie fucking. He said he would give her to me.

How is he a good man?

What a shit he was, he actually had me for free! ! to ! to

Are you more interested in money with men?

She sits, her mouths are dull. He does not talk to me. Probably offended.

Parody on forums about children:



It’s nice, nothing to compare with.

Especially now that I have been with a girl for almost five months.

I say, let’s write up? by Piska-Kolbasi? She smiles, rejoices and hopes. He falls on a barrel and looks at me – that barrel? The right bed? I keep silent, annoying her. She’s splashed – on the other barrel – cute, and now so? Which side will you give? Already all in doubts, worried, begins to ride from side to side. Where is? Where will the letter be given? Where is? I laugh, I annoy her, I condemn her - whisper, whisper, whisper, we will doom! I lie next door. She quickly turns to the right barrel, presses her legs, puts her fingers forward - to hold the pitch, opens her mouth wide, closes her eyes... All! On a bit of piss, the mouth is built, insert and go. Ham-am-am-am-amgrlkh... Thirsty and impatiently soaked, there is no muffle. He opens his eyes and looks at me, wondering where?

I sit at work, complain about the speed of the connection, the provider, and all at once.
A accountant girl with eyes full of emptiness and an absolute lack of intelligence:
The provider? Do we have him at all? haha))
I am :
Where do we get the internet from?
She is:
What a programmer does, that is. We do not have a provider. And she smiles sweetly.

I work for the Russian Post.