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[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №138021
 20.01.2017
My girlfriend wore a police uniform and said I was arrested for being very good in bed.



Two minutes later, she said she would withdraw her charges because of the lack of evidence.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138020
 20.01.2017
The Russian Post has done a convenient thing - the notification for receiving the package can now be filled in and printed directly on the site. But pleases the inscription below it, beginning with the words "If you have not accepted this form in the department, send SMS...". All of our mail in one phrase.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138019
 20.01.2017
The guy from history "Same, fool, blame", you are a great guy! And that without any irony. I took care of a very elderly mother-in-law (fortunately able to move around the apartment), I understand how difficult it is. The main thing here is not physical care, but attention. I came to her 3-4 times a week (to prepare, buy, help with laundry and cleaning), I spoke on the phone every day. When I had a week's break in nursing (daughter and baby just got out of the nursery), it just started - the grandmother went down (to the bedroom), lost all the skills of steadfastness... A month I danced around her, had fun, pulled to the previous level, and understood why I do all this - walking grandmother is much better than lying! As long as she walks, she lives. You should try something to captivate her (crosswords, series, flowers on the window or in the garden, walking or talking on the phone with friends). Good luck to you!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №138018
 20.01.2017
What can be said

I will simply remind you of such forgotten moments as the need for the survival of the biological species and the domination of public interests over personal ones.
Who can say anything? )

There is no such interest in Dawkins. And yes, the group selection is not he alone denies. And I can also say that it is in the public interest to avoid the overpopulation of the Earth, because of which people are awakening mechanisms responsible for homosexuality, aggression and refusal to give birth (educate) children.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №138017
 20.01.2017
If you take life as it is, you can sleep.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №138016
 20.01.2017
The wolf will come and bite.

Many probably saw in the Moscow Zoo a wolf who, along with the wolf, lived in an open volley, separated from visitors by a concrete roof and a wall of four meters high. The high wall was on the side of the wolves, and on the side of the visitors - approximately along the belt.
Wolves there are most likely steppe, small, less shepherd, with narrow breasts. And when they are lining in the spring and the wool hangs in pieces - generally miserable houses. Nothing compared to the polar wolves I met in the tundra. Those of the size of a northern deer, weighing 80 kilograms and growing up to a meter in a hole. The cuts are bigger than my boxer’s cuts.
My daughter and I came to the zoo in the spring, passed by the wolves (voiced, “Look, daughter, this is a wolf!” He said, “What a wolf! A sheep and go on. After a few minutes, they turned to the screams and returned to the wolf with the wolves.
A half-drunk company of several boys and a couple of girls who stood there before it shouted. Two of them held a boy whose leg hanged in a volley, the others shouted and tried to drive the wolf away.
The guy before this decided to show his young man to the girls and pushed his foot into the volley, to irritate the wolf. He was dressed in fashionable at the time in narrow circles of boots-cossacks, with a sharp nose and a high heels.
Here on this heels, pressing it in the hips, and hanging a wolf, humbly bending his legs on his chest, like a rabbit in the morning.
The guy was already sober like a glass and pale like a sparrow frog. He could not even move the leg, which hanged from half a hundred kilograms of living weight, and just whispered something to the companions, probably, hold stronger, brothers! The prospect of being in volley alone with the wolf, whom he just haunted, like a saucer, he did not like at all.
The girls whispered, the wolf continued to hang modestly, and behind this picture with interest, bowing his head, a wolf watched from the side.
A few minutes later, a police officer rushed to the screams and, having assessed the situation, began to tick the wolf in his mouth with a rubber bowl. Tom did not like it, he dropped his heels and gently landed on the bottom of the roof. He went up to the wolf and they lay in the sun for a couple, watching the surroundings. Harmless dogs on vacation.
I still regret not having seen the wolf jump when a drunk fool decided to push his foot in his unwashed shoes to his home. Tom had to fly five or six meters in the air and catch his heels in the summer.
After that, wires were stretched over the volley and electricity was released.
Many probably think that this is to protect people from evil wolves. But I know that it is the protection of wolves from fools.

Mother of Siberia (c)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №138015
 20.01.2017
Dear Father Christmas! I asked you last year for a pink Bentley, but my wish was never fulfilled.
With respect, Pamela Anderson.
“Dear Pamela Anderson, thank you for not fulfilling Rustam’s wish from Dagestan.
With respect, Santa Claus.”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №138014
 20.01.2017
In the Rostov region passed by a field on which dry grass began to burn.
I called 112, explained where and what I saw.
The girl said something like - not you are burning, not your problems.
I answer – Okay, the stitch will burn up, there will be your problems, and I warned you.
The girl from 112 asks (anxiously) - What is the big field?
I say: O wiennoe
The girl is leaving, thank you for the information.

Moral... yes, he knows what morality is here, they change clothes when they remember responsibility, apparently this is the morality here...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №138013
 20.01.2017
I don’t understand why people climb in the doorstep for baptism. Humans are 80% water, and at midnight they automatically become 80% sanctified.
From the morning, the bags under the eyes were washed and the norm, consecrated at 100%.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138012
 19.01.2017
XHH: About how differently you can describe the same news.
Komsomolskaya truth accurately wrote: "An airplane headed to Vietnam made a forced landing in Krasnoyarsk due to the clogging of toilets." Correct and understandable.
And the Federal News Agency, abbreviated as FAN (which is already hinting), described it as a ‘fecal-bite passenger Boeing from Perm’s emergency seat in Krasnoyarsk. It seems the same, but not exactly =)

WOW: There is an old-old fighting of Soviet times about how our representative competed in running with the representative of America. There are many options, and the characters are constantly changing (Brezhev and Bush, Gorbachev and Reagan, etc.).), but the essence remained one: there are competitions in running, only two participants - our and their. They ran first, we ran second. Their newspapers report that they took the first place, our second. Our newspapers write that our took the prize place, and they generally resorted to the last. Both are formally right. Do not read newspapers at lunch. Do not read any.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №138011
 19.01.2017
In the last six months I was invited to dinner twice...and for the second I even had to pay myself.

It’s like a wind on balls – a lot of meaningful shades. The secular people know the difference between “Let’s have dinner together” and “I invite you to dinner.” Maybe the problem is that.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №138010
 19.01.2017
To the surprise of Avon, the most popular answer to the question "What soap do you use?" turned out to be Gmail

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138009
 19.01.2017
xxx: mac / osx / os x / win
How does Android usually shorten?
Tagged: r2d2

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №138008
 19.01.2017
In the Google maps, it is in Kaliningrad, on the Soviet Prospectus instead of the FSB headquarters indicated the Gestapo headquarters. I cried out:
How to find McDonald’s?
Look at the Gestapo..."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №138007
 19.01.2017
I was scared in theaters. They are shared with the neighbor on the left and right. If you want to put your left hand, you’re busy. Right is busy. I watch movies at home.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138006
 19.01.2017
During her student years, she underwent surgery on her throat, after which for several months she could not speak normally. The oral exams were passed in writing.

As it turned out, in many teachers by default works the logical chain " once can not speak, then deaf". In general, the most brilliant phrase I’ve ever been addressed is this: “Oh, you hear well, you just can’t speak?” So why didn’t you say it right away?and "

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №138005
 19.01.2017
# ridiculously

>>When will the law for the protection of thinkers from the feelings of believers be invented?<<

Never and in no country will a law be adopted that protects the thinkers from anyone.
Here it turns...
It is hard to be wise, but foolish is bad. I need something medium, but where do I get it?"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №138004
 19.01.2017
Okay well :

Childfrey must remember that their old age will be served by other people’s children. Children will remain a priority. They will go with their parents to a cafe, cinema, etc. Refusal of childbirth does not give Childfrey the right to hate and oppress others. Let them cover their mouths and do not argue that sluggish children are preventing them from living.

On the other hand, the childfries are those who will give your puppies a job of caring for them. Not the most prestigious worker, but is well paid.
"Refusal of childbirth does not give Childfrey the right to hate and oppress others."
Chilfries are just those who decided not to have children. There are fools among them. Among the child fools are those who oppress the child freezers, as well as other children! I say, my necklace can do anything, and my ones are locked in chubas. How many times have I seen it with my own eyes?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №138003
 19.01.2017
Why don’t the cashiers like to sit the spectators through the place? Elementary - if you plant the whole hall through the place, and then a couple will come, or the company to plant them together will not work out. Therefore, the cashiers and try to immediately carry a dense packaging.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №138002
 19.01.2017
Aunt Chelfrie at work.
So she always tries to get her children free of charge.

The Cho-Cho What is this help from children? Tell me if I have to eat? But if you talk about adult people, then with each of them you need to build your relationship. Maybe it’s free, maybe it’s not. It doesn’t matter if you gave birth to them or that aunt. I know a couple of children whom an adult child doesn’t want to drive to the country in their car. But here your friends, coach, close people are easy. They are confused how. And it is not surprising: all their lives treated children as a servant by default, and then at some point it was tired.

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