bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №146304
 09.11.2017
Once a week I had to visit the General Staff of the MO at the 1st Frunzenskaya.
The road went through a small square adjacent to the fence of the General Staff.
And then one day a fence appeared around the square, where it was a meter high,
Now to get to the General Staff, it was necessary to run around the square almost in a circle.
And I go again, and the section of the fence is so carefully cut and stands in a row, the road is free.
Next week, the road is closed.
Another week, I go to the section in general cleaned the road open
A week later, the new section of the road is closed.
Another week above the section built a transitional staircase like through a pipeline
On the other side of the road, the road is open.
Another week and I see that the staircase is inside the fence and the road is closed.
It became interesting what will happen next.
Not a week has passed, I go, the staircase stands again through the fence and is deadly attached to it on both sides.

I don’t know what happened, I wasn’t there anymore.
But I know for sure: in MO it could last a long time.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146303
 09.11.2017
Ephremov wrote that a woman's fat layer is spent to preserve pregnancy and HB, if a hungry month suddenly came. He did not know about estrogen or was stuck.
Ephraim and stumbled two unmatched concepts.
xh: Well, there was a case when he described appendicitis treatment with a robot probe through his ass, but then changed his mind and let the robot through his mouth, because "so aesthetic".)))
It wasn’t about it, it was about beautiful! He loved the beautiful. Where does he have that?
In the "Heart of the Serpent" Somewhere there is a comment from Efremov himself that when he changed the point of entry, he forgot to rewrite the sequence of intestines that the robot slips, and so it went to the print to the confusion of readers, in the letters delicately pointed to the author on the mistake.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146302
 09.11.2017
I stopped using non-normative vocabulary. I try to be polite and pleasant in communication everywhere. I often call loved ones and relatives with kind words, such as "Dear, dear, sweet" and so on. There are already results: contextual advertising instead of dating single women offers dating single men.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №146301
 09.11.2017
How to fight alcoholism?
YYY: Do not drink!
XXX: No to drink. It doesn’t drink only because it sleeps during the day and is not sold at night.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №146300
 09.11.2017
You said you didn’t drink?
WOW: Buffy probably was...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146299
 09.11.2017
>>> Clean your clothes, clean your potatoes, uff.. how did you get this nonsense! I’m out, I don’t even take off my shoes when I go to bed.

Comrade of Army! Do not sleep in office.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №146298
 09.11.2017
Pavlik: In Egypt, treaties with Israel are hidden from the people. Not to be angry.

Xen0n: Can you get more details? How is this possible in today’s Internet society? What if now the Egyptian postpones the anchor, opens the ZH and reads this comment?

Pavlik: Trust the native leaders, not the devils of the internet.

Why did you believe the devils of the internet? There are no treaties, only the devils are lying.

Pavlik: I am a Jew. We boast of cooperation with our neighbors.

dr_kkv: It is they cheating you to hide the secret absence of contracts!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146297
 09.11.2017
We have an ideal family. The husband is a swint, he really does not notice the dirty toilet, drops on the mirrors, dust on the shoes... a bunch of cats will go around on the machine, but will not remove it, because in his consciousness it will not be reflected, he is busy with serious thoughts... And I have poor vision! It’s very bad, and I just don’t see it...yes, we don’t get cleaned up...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №146296
 09.11.2017
There was a universal answer to "we invite you not a free survey".
Do you collect Russian biomaterials for the CIA? Leave your phone number and you will be called back".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146295
 09.11.2017
By the way, the multiples. Don’t you think Grandma Boniface is a male?

Just she was born in the Lermont times:
"And Terek, jumping like a lion with a crumbling bush on the hill"...

222 Okay, she’s just old and has a hormonal failure. Like hair in women.
222 op-pa, it turns out, lions sometimes grow hrivna if there are problems with the ovaries. But they are infertile. Probably the grandmother adopted the father or mother of the future circus artist))
111 Or in her youth she played the roles of a travertine, and she played
222 is true. This is an artistic family, who hasn’t worked anywhere – in the circus, in the cabaret, in the cinema! The Bohemian Lion Family
What, however, does not differ in any way from my original version of Lermont’s ball of epochs.

Yes, grandmother is not necessarily mom or dad’s mom. It might be their aunt. Or an uncle who considers himself a aunt and the family respects his choice.
Either a mom’s dad or a dad’s dad who considers himself a mom and the family respects her choice.
333 is well. Somehow yes.
In general, the most important thing in the family is respect.

555 Just the artist painted it with Pushkin. This was the first thing that came into his mind with the words “African ancestors.”

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №146294
 09.11.2017
I’m not too old to be insecure anymore. Life has taught me to be insecure about others.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №146293
 09.11.2017
The more money invested in education, the less police and guards are needed.

and vice versa.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146292
 09.11.2017
Crimea, Eupatoria, a warm summer evening, a young couple walks in Frunze Street. The sculpture “Resting Heracles”. A monument without complicated allegories: a muscular wart collapsed at the entrance to the sea.
This is who? The girl asks her companion.
Frunze, the young man responds. The street is Frunze.
Well yes. Why is she naked? The lady is surprised.
- So not Murmansk, - laughs the satellite, - it is hot - here it is naked.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №146291
 09.11.2017
- Vladimir Vladimirovich, would you take the driver of your car a person who has no driving practice and does not know the device of the car?
No, I am not a suicide.
So why did you appoint a lawyer, Medvedev, who does not know how to manufacture, to manage the economy of a huge difficult country, even in difficult times?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №146290
 09.11.2017
This is an evil dog! The young man told the girl clinging to the entrance wall while Alice and I were passing by.
Not evil but fucking. I corrected it.
Because there is a difference.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146289
 09.11.2017
Such usually give up after the phrase "mam, if you do not like the girls I choose - choose yourself". The next candidate is well suited.
Although what religion prevents me from choosing a girl who would like my mom, I don’t know...
— — —

Fuck they don’t give up! The only way is to make her suspect for a while that you like guys... Then there is a chance that any girl will like her ;-)

And on the second point - suddenly, some guys want to choose a girl for themselves, not for their mom...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №146288
 09.11.2017
You read the cleaning machine and it seems that it is a dispute about whether a lot of effort and time should be spent on cleaning. But at the bottom, it’s just about pigs and purse. Cleansers know that the splashes of fat in the kitchen from the bowl are wiped out for a long time and roughly, the pigs do not notice these splashes and do not see the need to blow up the tiles every weekend. The same with the washing of the microwave, refrigerator, multivarker, door, pen, all possible shelves, and the list is actually huge. Once a year the pigs notice that it has become somehow dirty and spend two full weekends on general cleaning (well or not spend). But if the pig is a husband, and the cleaner is a wife, then she will be stunned by this cleaning, and he is not able to evaluate the effort, because the dirt has not noticed. In his understanding, the apartment was clean and remained clean. Who is right here.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №146287
 09.11.2017
Childhood is gold

And the girl learns how this guy at 3 years of age cried over some soulful song, which was played on TV, and at 4 years of age described himself in guests with aunt Tamara. And, of course, after this, the girl, having broken up, just ceases to perceive the guy as a man.

That’s your business, of course, but I think you’ll find such a girl right away. If the usual for a child is perceived as if in childhood you were catching on the frost - it will only get worse, the brain will be eaten.
About "perceive a guy as a man" I don’t even want to comment. The hard-built macho image dissipated like smoke as soon as my mom called me a grandson.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №146286
 09.11.2017
Hunger is necessary!

But not clothes. It is enough to straighten it well and shake it strongly before hanging.

And then go and chew the cat, the back to the wife / husband, the child on the head. Good luck to you!


[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №146285
 09.11.2017
xxx: I have a friend who taught his shepherd to get on the couch. And she didn’t come in until the owner’s home. Even at night. But when they went to work, they always saw a happy face in the window. The dog could only look out the window from the couch.

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