bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №123934
 04.02.2016
XXX is
I want Friday!!! to

YYYY
Everyone wants Friday.

I don’t think even Robinson Crusoe, but I’ve seen it.
) is

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123933
 04.02.2016
From our circus to yours.

Tents... 3kg... 20kg...
Here is for example: General Army USB-56 - 455.3kg in the packaging.
Who is more? :D

A circus tent can weigh more than two tons.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №123932
 04.02.2016
>>>There are those who go out for a week or two. And to the tents we have our requirements - it must be spacious, with a "prebanner", with a roof, rubber - so that the rain holds. Maximum comfort in travel conditions. Such a tent can not weigh less than 20 kg)

For a long time, I noticed that such people who grew up on Chinese synthetics and Soviet breezent in their brains are deliberately wrapped "light = impeccable and flowing" and you will not reject it with any arguments. Even if you give them normal membrane trousers that are harder to break than their tent.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №123931
 04.02.2016
I recently went to the hospital for health reasons. Only determined already in the department, where there is a free place (in the profile there were no seats), I stand in the corridor, waiting for the bed to be prepared.
Suddenly, a grandmother jumps out of one room and screams that a man is knocking on the window.
Well, I think, - they came... Just got up on the elevator to the fifth floor... I thought the psychics are not holding here...
It turns out that there is a balcony along all the rooms. The weather is dark, on the balcony all the rooms are the same.
The man went out to smoke and tried to enter the neighboring room. I thought it was closed and knocked out the window. :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №123930
 04.02.2016
I was madly tired of misunderstanding, of the reluctance to communicate, to spend time with me. Have you ever thought about what we have in common? Maybe some life goals, maybe some topics interesting to talk about, maybe some hobbies and activities? What do we have in common except a child?! to
The color of the skin?
The idiot! I hate you!

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №123929
 04.02.2016
Disney made a cartoon about the adventures of Mickey Mouse in Moscow
WOW: 1.5 meters in the hole, live in the subway?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №123928
 04.02.2016
Her eyes were the colours of the dumped lamp kinescope of the Soviet TV brand "Spring".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №123927
 04.02.2016
XX: How do you guess the notes? Do you choose the color in your head or your mood? Or what other associations?

YYY: Type of

WOW: It is good
Re is a silk.
We are Wednesday.
Fa is a castrated boy in a church choir
Salt is choleric, red
Lea is a stumbling
It is Trilly.

YYY: And don’t ask why

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №123926
 04.02.2016
We had a small bowl yesterday. I am not sitting so high. 10 the floor. But there was a wind... In an hour I was passed by by a struggling crown and two dwarfed pigeons. I would also be in their place. They were all three flying behind.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №123925
 03.02.2016
Lovely athlete of 1948.

I am an adult uncle of 34 years of age, and I, as you advise, do not have to run on the ice to avoid falling. And you, judging by rhetoric, at least twice as much. Or you are working in the field. Why did I make this conclusion? Because only these categories of people forget about the existence of the elderly and just people with musculoskeletal problems. I will not further develop the thought - if you already understood, I understood. And if not yet, then even after a detailed chewing you will not understand, and still start to argue.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123924
 03.02.2016
About Catherine the second and the word "ischo". I go to the archives, including reading the documents of this time. I could not even write that word! Moreover, people began to write only in the first half of the 19th century, and before that, they wrote "ischo", and this was not considered a mistake! At least go through the books of the second half of the 18th century, there also sometimes printed.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №123923
 03.02.2016
Food recently ordered near Teremka (fast food), suitable for a family couple of thirty. An employee at the box office, addressing the young man, asks, "Sugar, what do you want to order?" The man does not pay attention to the cashier. The worker repeats, “The crash?” The young man, squeezing a little, said, “Is this you for me?Then he turns to his wife and says, "Look, you see how they speak here - "Sugar," and you only call me a fool!“”

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №123922
 03.02.2016
Taken from the forum, section "Proposals" of one of the browser games. I have long proposed the introduction of a system of counting penalties for each case of maternity and disrespect. Call it something like a single-matte ball. Abbreviated by E-Ball Everyone who mates for every case of mate, or every person for every case of disrespect of the interlocutor will receive an "e-point". Getting a couple of times on the "e-ball" - sit in jail. Also for a very large accumulation of points, a ban is provided. For the e-ball.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №123921
 03.02.2016
Five years ago I met a boy. It was like a childhood, without hands. And in the course of some difficult logistical decisions left to sleep with him, and he left somewhere in the morning and had to go back, but I woke up earlier. I woke up, made my best face of a Russian woman (I’m dropping hot lead and I’m not happy) and went into the kitchen. And here I smoked a cigarette, opened the first eye, and there Mom and Grandma are sitting. Those are you know so proletarian that it seems that the revolution was done with these very hands with the pearl manicure. They look at each other and say:

– Mitchell, look at what a shuster brought the fool home, and we didn’t notice. And what are you standing for? Go, the boy is gone.

Well, at that moment I decided that the situation could not be corrected and I said:

The boy left, but the honorary did not leave. Who will pay?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №123920
 03.02.2016
I remember the story that happened a year ago. Driving in the subway, looked at a cute person, white hair, beautiful face, all so fragile of himself, well, a straight angel. And to my surprise, she also noticed me - we looked back and smiled. I think this is it. Sha how I will approach and that thread I will tell, but this girl approaches me herself and stretches out a paper with numbers) phone



In the general evening as I called I was offered a loan under 10.5 percent of the annual interest rate.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №123919
 03.02.2016
Fuck you burn!
From the car-sracha technically moved to discussing trips and backpacks, and then to growing cucumbers in the country.
Fearlessly!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №123918
 03.02.2016
The former classmate is a heart-hearted, deeply religious lady. In parallel with the main work of the accountant, she was engaged in the arrangement of the homeless animal in families (+preparations, +treatment and sterilization of all and all at her own expense). And street houses were dragged and taken from all sorts of shelters. I don't know how her "hobby" was tolerated by her neighbors, but her boyfriend was clearly not delighted with the ever-changing morder of cats and dogs. How clearly? A demonstrable case. One day I sit at their guests, drink tea, look at the open window and ask, “I understand that the second floor is not dangerous... But you are not afraid that someone in your room will jump out the window?”
The boy of classmates, melancholy: "If it were. I have a suspicion that they are just jumping at us..."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №123917
 03.02.2016
Regarding the garden, I can say two things:

The grandmother in the garden does not crack because if she does not do it, the garden will suddenly bury with a bury, but because if she does not do it, she will feel like a deceiver, which this every opposite can blame. And so she is the most tormented here, and she can argue with everybody. And that the apples are wormy and the cucumbers bitter - so the straight hands no spice will replace.

Cucumbers are grown to the size of a buckwheat, and apples are not injected with normal slices because of why a banana today needs to be eaten rotten and unflavored, and a normal whole put off until tomorrow, when it will also become rotten and unflavored. Unfortunately, in the trend of the older generation of dacha as an element of the cult of heroic harassment with the aim of total blaming their neighbors.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №123916
 03.02.2016
You do not understand
xxx: Animal cells almost instantly die after brain death. Plant cells live long enough: there would be water and light, and nutrients are accumulated there. When you take the cucumbers off the bed, they are alive. When you cut it, it is alive. When you chew him, he is alive. You are tormenting a poor plant. Comrade of Vegan. Now can you sleep peacefully knowing how you torment a living creature?

This is the essence of veganism. The fact is not that meat-eaters torture animals, but that they eat dead food (meat), and vegans are living (plants) and believe that it is more beneficial.
I don’t know how much the living food is better than the dead, but the fact that a normal person can’t do without meat is a fact.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №123915
 03.02.2016
I don't grow vegetables, I don't drive a car, I don't clean my house, and I don't cook for the same reason - it's a monotonous, boring, endless work, the process of which does not bring me happiness. Only the result matters to me. Therefore, vegetables are grown by collective farmers, taxi drivers move my body around the city, cook and clean a housewife. I am not wasting my resources on it. On the way to the office, I read or conduct telephone conversations, coming to a clean apartment with pleasure dining with not-handed vegetables. And I am fine.
If you like: driving a car, growing tomatoes and all in the same spirit, then go ahead! No need for propaganda. I'm not telling every corner how terrible and reckless to wear ready-made clothes, you have to sew everything with your own hands, including underwear and coat. The comfort! The Savings! The lion! I just like the sewing process. You like to drive a car or cake oven. Let us go peacefully.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna