bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115892
 10.07.2015
I am pregnant and go to work because I want to eat.
Child allowance small
I don’t want children because I can’t afford them.

Why should you get married if your husband can’t provide you and your child? No to Tom!! to

All babies are mercantile creatures, they only need money, and they only sleep for money.

Do you hear yourself, people?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115891
 10.07.2015
Well, if a woman after the birth of her "long-awaited and beloved offspring" will refuse to bomb someone and do ugliness, then there is not everything as mimic as you say. In this case, it will be immoral and unconscious.
Have you ever seen the newborns? They are occupied only with their exfoliated bite and are not capable of any meaningful actions.
_______________________
I was like half the teeth of such a clever man for the fact that his wife in his youth at work was poisoned.
I’m sure you’ll get wet too if the husband of the man you’re chewing on comes to you.
This is the fate of failed men. “Let me joke like a man, but I can’t answer if I’m young or pregnant.” The fucking.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №115890
 10.07.2015
The Soviet times.
Cocktails by Talon.
It is seldom purchased.
Andrei's parents (then 12 years old) urgently leave the city, leaving him to my parents (my brother and Andrew are best friends to this day).
The next day, Andrey and Sergey (brother) go to Andrey, the parents who left were ordered to watch the apartment.
On the table of the note: "Eat the sausage urgently, or it will ruin".
Not long thinking, the guys open the refrigerator - there is a whole bottle!! to
Well, once asked - you need to help, the more the father of Andrew man is quite strict.
For a week A. and C. pressed the sausage. They ate it with bread, with tea, just so, competed "who is bigger" and "who is faster"... have eaten!! to
Returning parents were ready to execute them: on the plate, in a bowl, covered with a cover, three circles of fried sausages were stunned.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115889
 10.07.2015
Shirson: Oculus Rift... phones with augmented reality... Hernia is everything.
I play in GTA V Online, a mission where the police patrol car must be knocked off, and then the schedule of the prison bus from the site to steal - only with the partners the case checked, the ends rubanied, the police car burned, to the house came, and then the police knock on my door. Intentionally real, in armor vests with the inscription "POLICE", with combat pistols in a cobra, knocks on my real door. Here is this immersion, here is this sensation, the mother-ego-so of full presence, untranslatable by no oculus.
Then he went out (for another thing.)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115888
 10.07.2015
xxx: "[A-Z a-z.,!?*" I have said it all!
YYY: pff
YYY :.* is
You fuck you fuck in your head.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115887
 10.07.2015
We sit down and drink liquor.
It’s strange that you don’t like him. It is delicious. Indeed, it squeezes the respiratory tract a little.
Let him be grateful!
Mmm, I can say so.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115886
 10.07.2015
Q: Do you remember Yulia, who I was wearing for a month?
Yes, the blonde is like that.
Oh... remember, she sent me away, as if I was her "like a brother"?
I remember, what next?
Oh yeah, she took me off at the time, and today I learned that she and her cousin are sleeping :(
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It is a green color :D

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115885
 10.07.2015
It is very interesting to see a country where weak, poor, honest people rule.
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Come to. In Germany, politeness is not considered a weakness. The majority of us do not feel hatred for the elderly, the children, the disabled, the pregnant, the gay, the informal and just the surrounding. We will give you a place, show you the way, miss ahead. Here, you will very rarely encounter cruelty and extreme greed. It is not a paradise on earth, but a minority of them. You can not catch them for months. In the countries of wild capitalism, in order to live a day without shame, it must be spent without consciousness. What a long time to hide. Compare how weak Germans treat disabled people. And look at the attitude toward them in strong Russia. Apparently as it comes to helping the weak, the spiritual scraps begin to crack and crush the fifth point. Live among the strong ones. Do not give God to be weak.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115884
 10.07.2015
At one of the Soviet air bases there was an anchor, which had a wreath in the roof. From the inner side. Not just one, but as if it has been repeated many times.
And when asked by the inspector, what kind of frog was it, he was told where those frogs came from. I don’t know how his face was shaken.
And the thing is - in the hangar there are aircraft, they are served, including time soldiers. And you know, it's great to get into the cabin, until nobody sees it, and imagine yourself as a lukewarm fighter destroying American "Phantoms," or a desperate strike jet burning enemy tanks.
Well, and for the completeness of the entourage you can and all kinds of tumblers to slick, buttons to press - it's not smart, and the experienced pilot rushes, of course, but in a second will drop all the settings to the desired position.
And it seems that everything is harmless, it seems that the aircraft is wasted, it seems that no system reacts to these cracks.
seem to. Because there is a system in the plane that always works.
The Catapult.
The Bon Voyage. to the ceiling.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115883
 10.07.2015
The cat has the habit of going, and then just fall on the side, such as a convenient place to lie on a detective. So he grabbed the solder in the adhesive for tiles and almost successfully carried out his first depilation. Glamourous Kiso, this black wool begemot.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115882
 10.07.2015
here here :
– – – – –
An old joke, don't understand what: The Wolf is rushing home - "Mom! Mother! And Brother Sascha threw a bomb on the king!"
-------
Do not understand what, but about our eternally alive Vladimir Ilyich...

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115881
 10.07.2015
Is it hard to live for a woman over 30 with a brain 8 years old? No, three basic functions work: fucks, fucks and ulcers

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115880
 10.07.2015
Sergey Vilyanov in guests at Goblin. The 4K TV:
There is no content in 4K resolution. Fortunately, representatives of the romantic comedy industry, where everyone loves each other but never marries, fill this gap. The acne can be seen simply astonishingly clearly.

No one has ever called porn so beautiful!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115879
 10.07.2015
The customer asked to send an e-mail to a scan of the document and in the subject of the letter to indicate "for the company". On the park wrote "for the Wood". After 20 minutes, the manager of that company calls back and half whispering: - We have the floor of the office inadequate. To whom specifically to hand over documents?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115878
 10.07.2015
A friend broke the right mirror on some Mazda. I ordered a new one and it arrived. It is written on the box that it is right. On the mirror itself it is stamped that it is right. In fact, it is left.
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Children, we are used to look at the mirrors from the driver’s side, along the way. This is logical while you drive the car. And they are used to look from the repairman who changes these mirrors. Not from the cabin, but from the outside, looking at the car in the opposite direction. Accordingly, "right" and "left" are changed. For this, by the way, there are catalogues with illustrations and Part number to immediately order what you need.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115877
 09.07.2015
25k - for this money you can barely buy food and pay a quarter fee (not for rental housing). This is not life. Where is entertainment, where is leisure, where is shopping? So a single girl has to pay from 40 minimum!

A lonely girl from the province with a four-digit salary was stifled with anesthetic...Moscow, the country is big!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115876
 09.07.2015
The evening sunset:
The husband sits down to eat, the cat is attached to the bowl, hearing a familiar scratch, the husband breathes deeply and leaves the plate and gives:
- Well, you can never eat quietly in this house, necessarily either in the soul or in the bowl.

The curtain.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115875
 09.07.2015
...In fact, you just got a particular dumb dumb dude. We are really full of them. For some reason, society appears to encourage such behavior. Otherwise I cannot understand where they come from.
— — — —
In our country in 100 years the system of state power has completely collapsed twice and massively ruled by those who are stronger, they are right.
Therefore, this quite popular cult of power and greed "I reject you - you are a bad guy, and I am the right guy".
Well, in Bab, it just takes the most basaric forms.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115874
 09.07.2015
Darkforce: How will we handle my doctor, haha?
Ergo: like all the hachi: make a machete and a leg)
Darkforce: and you can also ride on the backs and shoot from the machines from the windows
Darkforce: We need two more lambs
We will cut the inshalah halal.
The second fuck.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115873
 09.07.2015
The morning.
The balcony.
and Coffee.
In the courtyard, a man with a gasoline pile attacks a rapper.
I go...

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