I am now at a stop. There is a drunkard nearby. A girl passes by and leads a German Shepherd and a Spitz on the lead. The guy asks her:

and E! And what if your shepherd is this little dog you #bet?

The Virgin answered:

Your brother is born. The same incomprehensible pitch will work out.



and left.

In the line at the box, Magnet. My son and I (4 years old). In front of us in the line a guy rocks the phone and cries out loudly, "Fuck me!"

My son pulls my hand: Daddy, is this uncle stupid?

I: Why do you think he’s stupid?

Son: He says bad words that cannot be said!

The line is listening, I explain that uncle is just upset, and the words are not bad, ordinary.

Son: No, such words cannot be said! If he was upset, he could say something else.

I: Which of them, for example?

My son, for instance, is your son.

Sometimes a small adventure can raise the mood for a long time.

I am going home from building today.

Road without congestion 350 km

Somewhere about 3 days realized that "hunger is not a aunt" and went to the car park.

In the mask (naturally)

A few people - a pair of middle-aged businessmen in cravates, a couple of long-haul drivers (like Romanians or Bulgarians), a family couple of pensioners, a mom with a son aged 10-11, a decent look of a Negro and a sinful self (in the sense of me).

The actors are mother (M) and child (R).

R is black.

M cannot say so.

R is why?

M is offensive to him.

R is OK

Pause

R is me?

M – What are you?

R – What color am I?

M is white

Is R insulting too?

M is no.

R is why?

M – what “why? “?

Why is black insulting and white not?

Because they were oppressed before.

R – Who oppressed?

M is white.

Pause

R for a long time?

M is long ago. “?

R is oppressed.

M for a long time.

R – But do they remember?

Who “remembers”? “?

Are they... black?

M – You shouldn’t call them so.

Because it is “insulting”?

M is yes.

Pause

R – Do you remember that?

M is remembered.

R – What do you remember?

They were oppressed.

R is OK

Pause

Which color is not offensive?

M - red, blue, purple, white

Is black insulting?

M - Yes

R is black.

M is yes.

Pause

R and why?

M is so. He is not entirely black.

Everyone in the cafeteria, including the Negro, began to whisper, restraining laughter.

R and what?

The table is black, but it’s not that.

R is brown.

M – No, I can’t say that. The brown Nazis

R – Who is it?

They are bad Germans.

R – What did they do?

They oppressed the blacks. Not the black ones, but those.

The people in the hall start to shout with enthusiasm (including the Negro)

Are the Nazis bad?

M is yes.

R – But are they brown? How... this one?

M - No, they are white, but brown

R is white, but brown.

M is the color of their party.

R – What color of the party... this?

M – I don’t know. Maybe it is green.

R – Is it green?

No, of course he is black.

Here the hall begins to run out of laughter (including the Negro)

I mean, it is not black, but...

R is a Nazi?

M is NO!

People are already crawling on the floor (including blacks)

R – How to call it?

M is just a “man.”

R – I am also a man.

M and he too.

R is OK

Pause

R – How is it called?

M is.... The African

R is why? Did he come from Africa?

M - Yes

Negro (in beautiful German, but suffocating from laughter) - I was born here!

Pause

R is a mom? He was born here

People are already fighting.

And then he is European.

R is called so.

M is called by name.

R – What is his name?

M - I don't know

R – Ask me.

M ask yourself.

R (black) is not black, but what is your name?

The Negro - Julian

R (shockingly) - Mom, his name is Julian. Chinese in our class. The Chinese are insulting too.

M is NO!

R is why?

M I don’t know.

I’ll ask my grandfather tonight.

Yes, your grandfather will answer you!

I could no longer withstand.

went out.

The Negro also came out.

God, how we roasted with him outside.

xxx: Announcement of some new Swedish thriller (which is unlikely to reach hands):



“A sophisticated and intelligent killer, dissatisfied with the fact that the newspapers and television talk only about stupid reality show stars and internet celebrities, forces his famous and wealthy victims to answer questions from the school program, in case of failure – kills.”



XXX: I would have sent him donat, honestly.

The most strenuous thing when you think - what we are poor, I carry for my brother, or neighbors, Mom, Daddy don't buy anything, I don't give for ice cream cakes, for potatoes every week to grandmother ride on two buses to the village, work forever, help something...

And when you get thirty and you realize that you have already survived your father for three years, you suddenly realize what kind of child was then, how much your parents survived, so that you, ungrateful, grew up as a non-drinking, uncompromising man, received education and upbringing and all. And all - you are sitting on your ass with your softness and you are like a thunder, because there is no one to thank, no one to talk to as a man with a man...

It was at the end of zero. I was picked up with a Toyota diesel at the service. I provided spare parts myself. Purchased in Exeter. I needed a package, yes. The full set for some reason was not available, so ordered separately by nodes, or even batch.

I come to receive. Instead of a RC for the entire head of the engine, I get one pad. The dialogue:

I am sorry. According to this number in the catalogue listed dozens of items. Why only one came?

Everything is right. With this partner, there is only a patch under the head.

At this price, it is made of platinum. Secondly, open the catalog now with me and look at the scheme and the list of details included in this partner.

We open and look.

Well yes. The idea should be a set. Do you refuse to order?

by itself. I want the advance payment back.

Then we put you on the blacklist.

–...

I break my head, what is Putin for us if the current president of the United States is called “Putin’s puppy”?

The cartoon of Alexander Tatarsky about a man who went to the woods in search of a tree, for many years is an indispensable attribute of New Year's holidays. Today it is difficult to imagine why in the 80s the humor of Tatarsky was not simply not appreciated, and even did not want to release a cartoon on the screens. After accusations of Russofobia and ridicule of the Soviet people, the author was in a pre-infarct state.

Problems with censorship arose in Tatarsky during the work on the first cartoon - "Plastyline Varna". He was allowed to shoot it exceptionally – for helping to develop animated screenshots for the Olympics-80 on television. But when the cartoon was ready, it was banned from showing with the formulation “ideologically idle.” The situation was saved by Eldar Ryazanov and Ksenia Marinina, who at the time worked on the program "Cinopanorama" - in spite of the ban, they released the cartoon on the air. Furthermore, the recognized success of the animator was the plasticine screenshot for the program "Good night, baby!", which entered the Guinness Book of Records for the number of broadcasts.

Inspired by this success, Tatarsky took on the creation of a new cartoon – “Falled last year’s snow” by the script of Sergey Ivanov. There were even more claims from the censors. The author recalled: “This film was generally banned, placed on the shelf, and the formulations were much more disgusting. If “Vorona” is just an idyllic nonsense, then it is already Russofobia, bullying of the Soviet man. Because in the film there is only one hero, and he is Russian (he is in a hat, a man), and at the same time he is an idiot. The man seemed to them a fool and a fool, and the story was a laugh at the whole people. Places the cartoon had to re-sound and re-assemble.

Composer Grigory Gladkov, who wrote the music for the cartoon, explained the idea of the authors: "The power of the cartoon is that the character is shown. He’s such a dumb man, in fact he’s a normal, wise village man, and she’s his loving wife. If I didn’t love it, I’t run with a rock. He was running, looking and worrying. The man found the tree and brought it home, but it was already in April, and he brought it back. It is our whole life and our whole character so untouchable, but we build rockets, and we will hold the Olympics, and we still get it. We do everything with fun and joking. The most important thing is that the hero is an inventor, don’t let God live with boring people.”

Initially, it was planned that there would be no text in the cartoon at all, only the outcry of "Oh" and "Ah". But the management of the studio demanded to “explain this nonsense” and insisted that the plot be more specific. Alexander Tatarsky together with screenwriter Sergey Ivanov began to come up with replicas of the heroes. Many phrases from the cartoon, which then went to the people, had to defend with battle. For example, Kramola was seen in the phrase "Who is here, for example, in the king extreme? No one? So I will be the first!" in the replicas of the main character, the censors felt encrypted messages.

The problems continued after the film was finished. The actor Stanislav Sadalsky was invited to the voice, but his name had to be removed from the titles. The fact is that Sadalsky grew up in a nursery and tried all his life to find his relatives. In the mid-1970s he managed to find his cousin grandmother, who emigrated to Germany in 1917. When they finally managed to meet, Sadalsky for communication with a foreigner was forbidden to go abroad, and as a punishment his name was ordered to be removed from the titles of the cartoon. The audience immediately recognized his voice.

The paradoxical phrase “Last year’s snow fell” seemed to Tatarsky the ideal title for a cartoon with absurd humor, especially since this phrase he found a quite logical explanation – “last year” can be considered snow, which fell on December 31. Stanislav Sadalsky recalled: “All our absurd, fantastic film he built on one phrase he thought was brilliant: “Last year’s snow fell.” For a long time he tried to explain to me, “You understand... zero hours, zero minutes. There is no past, no future, no present. There is time, there is world. Everything is frozen. And the snow is coming... Last year, you know?”
As a result, the cartoon "Falled last year's snow" still came out on the screens - on the eve of the New 1984 year. Later it became a recognized classic of the Soviet animation and one of the most famous works of Alexander Tatarsky.

During the discussion of the final musical theme, the animator asked composer Grigory Gladkov to write a penetrating melody: "Error, the cartoon is funny, but at the end there must be a sad melody. It should be like Fellini, it should be very fun, and at the end such a sad melody, under which we and you will be buried."

In 2007, the director died – at the age of 56 he stopped his heart, and, according to his will, the funeral sounded music from his most famous cartoon.

Putin has been in power for 24 years.
Matvienko is 22 years old.
Lavrov is 26 years old.
Shoigu is 30 years old.
Medvedev is 20 years old.
Kudrin is 24 years old.
Patrol is 21 years.
They will lead Russia to prosperity.
Just as they had too little time.
We have to endure.

Since I have lived in rental apartments for 10 years, I have seen a lot of locks in them.



The first rented apartment was one-room, with a girl - a neighbor Anya. Annie and I have been very close friends, and we still communicate today. I found the apartment very simply, went to the hospital, saw Annie's ad, signed up with her and the next day with my treasure entered. On the second day, Anne and I ate sushi and watched movies, on the third day we went to the ikee for dishes, and a week later we were already friends with the water.



We had two colourful neighbors on the staircase. On the right was a family, a wife, a husband, and their eight-year-old son. They were remarkable by the fact that the husband and wife expressed their feelings loudly at night, and the son tortured the piano in the morning on Saturdays and Sundays, and his skills for three years of torture did not advance even a yota. Well, we, young twenty-year-olds, absolutely not reacting to sounds, after a night shift in the restaurant (worked as waitresses), shuddered with all our strength, and in principle did not pay attention to external stimuli.



The second neighbor, from the opposite apartment, was remarkable for his drug addiction. She was constantly surrounded by some questionable male personalities in the apartment, she herself was often hooked at home. In principle, she also did not bother us very much, her description will be useful in further narrative.



One day I get up in the elevator with the neighbor who lived on the right and was loud at night. She quietly looked at me and suddenly asked:



Are you from 141?



and AGA. I answered carefully.



Noise at night. You laugh loud, the men lead! The neighbor answered angrily.



I look at her surprised. At night we work, we are not at home, of the men for the last six months we have been in guests only my cousin, and then for 5 minutes - brought potatoes from the village, parents passed on. Don’t be foolish, I say to my aunt:



You are very loud at night. And not only at night.



My aunt with the bullets flew out of the elevator and from that moment on she declared war on me and Anka. The first time they woke us up by a loud knock at the door at 4 a.m. “What are you cooking! Burn the whole house, the smoke is coming out of your door.” The neighbor’s husband. We asked only to answer, “Are you a firefighter? ! to “” After that, it fell down, naturally no one burned in the morning.



The second time a neighbor came to us at 2 o'clock at night, claiming that we were whispering the men in the apartment. And even walked around the house, looking into all the gaps and the balcony.



For the third time we are called by the owner of the apartment, accusing us that we are cooking drugs with Anya, her neighbor did not care that even the police came to us. I replied to the housewife that if we were cooking drugs, they would be successfully traded, and her rubbed hood would hardly be removed. She agreed.



For the fourth time, I was back home from training and on the staircase of the police. They asked me where I was from and took me to the apartment. There was a body covered with a plastic bag in the kitchen, and I was questioned whether I knew my neighbor, Iru (a drug addict), and what relationship I had with her. I honestly answered that I only greeted her sometimes, and I didn't even know the name, and in response asked what it was about. It turns out that this Iru was cut off by either a fellow resident, or one of the muddy personalities that periodically lived with her. I clarified a few more nuances and let go.



The next day, the hostess of our apartment arrived on all the pairs, and sprinkling with saliva, began to put our things outside the door. As it turned out, our beloved neighbor called her and said that I killed our neighbor narcotic (likely, the drugs were not shared, as she explained), and I was already taken with a shirt when I pulled Irka’s cut-off tail into the rubbish in my workout bag. Therefore, we criminals must immediately be expelled, and I, the murderer, and the Anka-sharing. To my reasonable questions, if so, why I was not in jail then, the hostess did not answer, but calmed down, gave us a week for expulsion. This is how we left our first home.

I came home somehow from school, no one at home, no keys, mother is unavailable. I walked through the staircase at 2 o’clock, then decided to go to the neighbors, so to speak, to warm up, to drink a cup. I was surprised to find the key to my apartment. He went home, went to the kitchen, and on the refrigerator a note: "Son, the key from Aunt Olli, when you come home, eat borscht! “Mom!”

The daughter was gathering flowers in the field and the phone fell unnoticed. A simple search did not lead to anything. In addition to everything, the bluetooth, mobile internet was turned off, and the phone itself was put into the "do not disturb" mode. To activate the Internet via the operator, the phone had to be restarted. The screen was supposed to light up when the call arrived, but it was not possible to find it even at night.

The only hope is wi-fi. Therefore, a car was pushed in the field, in which a home router was pushed through an inverter at 220. Half an hour later, the signal was recorded. The phone connected to the Internet via a router. Immediately through the Google service was sent a search signal for the phone, and it stumbled, despite all the "non-threatening" modes. He was found 300 meters from the main search site, fell and stood on his side in the grass. I hope somebody helps in the search.

Xxx: Ah) remembered the same story: bought the land, so the former owners, not that before the sale they excavated everything they wanted (they bought a new and moved everything there), but again and then for two years came to me and called: "and we will excavate a bush of boyarka, there, near the fence?" “Will we take this and that out?” He asked, “Why did you cut the apples?” ) )

Are the apples cut?

I worked with a man who, after selling the car, could then call the new owner and ask him if he had a spoiler done, or that I was driving it carefully and you had a scratch.

I bought a boat from him, so he got me too, that he didn't wash immediately after fishing, and the other shit.

Zzz: And you say to him in response, "And you fucking spent all the money I gave you for the boat? I dug for so long, carefully collected, saved, and you, goat, put it all down on your wip.

(I don’t know why I decided he dropped all the 3000 rubles on the wip)

(I don't know why I decided that the deal was 3000 rubles)

There is no more beautiful woman in the world than the woman you love.

c) Sj

Our town is small. Here are the housekeepers of the company, and I want to thank them today! The house is not old, we have lived for four years. I came back from work at 9 p.m. I go to the bathroom... chopsticks... chopsticks... the tube flows, the fist splashes! How is it!! Yes, the husband himself tried, but the hump on the pipe, which was available, was small, and the pipe was larger. Called the dispatcher, well, in an hour there will be a slug, wait. Twenty minutes later, a well-dressed and polite man arrived. He opened the suitcase and did it. We thank you verbally and quietly extend the note (directly very thankful))
“Well, you are worthless, we have good slugs and I pay them a worthy salary!
– to?? to
I am the director of your management company. I live in a neighboring house. So why would I call tears tonight?
The pipe was replaced (without additional payment) by a plastic pipe in a month.

If you are called from the security service of Sberbank, do not act, they are fraudsters. So tell them, Sberbank does not exist.

While reading a book about depression, I came across a theory by Swedish clinic Marie Osberg, which the author calls “The Wheel of Exhaustion.” This theory seemed to me extremely important and interesting.



Its essence is what each person has experienced to a greater or lesser extent on himself. And many of us are still experiencing it right now.



The theory says that in a situation when a person increases the number of responsibilities, the number of necessary things, the first reaction that shapes our behavior is to give up not so significant things, not so urgent and important, in favor of the most important things.



And the paradox is that the most unimportant things will be... yes! They are the ones that give us strength, resources, energy and inspiration.



A parent to whom affairs are filled up and filled up adds and adds extremely important routines and vital responsibilities - to feed, care, work, pay bills, buy foods, observe hygiene, treat, teach, endlessly give and care... So this parent will start making choices every day. Choice in favor of these important cases. Leaving as not demanding urgency, as those to which you can return later, things that of course sound not so significant - meetings with friends, walks by the sea, music in silence, bathroom with foam, a romantic evening with a loved one, creativity, dancing (continue from your list).



And the paradox is that by abandoning things from this list, a person loses sources of rechargeable energy, sources of inspiration, does not recharge their batteries and batteries, but only draws, draws, draws, as if there is something infinite.



And then the new circle - less and less energy, you need to leave the most important thing. Again, it’s a minus of fun and pleasure. After all, it can wait... and a new wave of loss of strength. And so to the bottom...



Unfortunately, among parents, especially babies, several babies, children requiring special attention, this process occurs too often. There is no time for a cross. It is not so important to walk with friends around the city, and you can wash without foam and music, and the dinner can be prepared not from the source of creativity, but from the point of necessity, as in the joke - what is the soup? With the last strength...



Knowledge of this algorithm is very important. Every time you cancel what gives you creativity and gives you energy, remember this picture. He is a whirlwind, he is a waterwreck, he sows and acts very deeply and imperceptibly. But it is always so, to the bottom.

You need to know this, in order to prioritize to maintain balance, leaving the same nonsense and nonsense, without which it only seems that you can live. In fact, they give us energy and strength. They make us :)

I had trouble choosing the size. Who knows, will understand. When you take a hose just to find, you stretch the hose along the same way and in the way. Well, better than two breasts, of course, can only be four!

And many times I went to my house in the city past the store with models with now very large breasts. And at some point I thought, maybe I will find something sick.

I went in the 100E lift, I went out in 70K, ahaha. Let me explain, if anyone does not know, there is no constant concept of a "five-point" in lifaches. There is a proportion between the volume and the cup. And the exact same chest at the volume of 100 and at the volume of 70 will be marked with different letters. 100E in a cup is identical to 70K, but does not hold anything and torture from it.

I went to this shop regularly. Four years later, I found a vacancy there. of requirements:

Older than 24

Breast of cup G

At least a year of work anywhere.

I said that I would be sorry if I didn’t respond to such an ideal vacancy... And suddenly got to work :D

For a year, I have been working as the person who chooses the most ideal lifters for others. This is such a good thing.

This happened in 2009. My friend met a young man in 2008, he was 22 years old and they were both military, he was sent to serve in another city and for a year they had a phone relationship, so he tried to come to her for a weekend once a month. In 2009, a friend had a couple of weeks vacation and she went to her friend, he worked in the afternoon and came home for lunch. After another such lunch she decided to walk to the store and on the way to carry him to work, dressed in a sports suit, shoes and took a bag, he was in shape. They walk through the street and a young man asks her, "Do you have a passport with you?She says, “Yes, it’s in the bag.” MCH: “Here is the ZAGS building across the road, let’s go and find out how to file an application for registration...” They went in, began to find out what and how, the employee of the ZAGS began to tell them everything, and then said, "Let's let me write you right now? “” They were confused for a couple of minutes - they took and agreed))) The bridegroom in military uniform, the bride in a sports suit and shoes... They even have no photo from the registration, but still live together, two children were born (a boy and a girl). Her parents didn’t believe her until she showed her passport and marriage certificate, and they didn’t see the bridegroom before marriage. So I walked to the shop.

At the beginning of the summer, new owners appeared in the neighboring country. The former owner - the grandmother is not bad, but very clever. New neighbors - pleasant people, our peasants, in the past - never holidaymakers, but the enthusiasm - at least reject: the bury and grown celery in a couple of months brought in a pleasant look.

On the weekend, we sit with a neighbor, in the process of communication, we smoke a smoked pellet (this is the fish), drink a beer, suddenly - a phone call. I see a former neighbor. Hands in fish, including a loud communication.

After the standard introductory phrases, the grandmother asks the question:

Have the neighbors changed the castle? The neighbor raised one eyebrow.

Hey, how do I know? ...

- Yes, I have a barbecue there and Kalina have matured - I wanted to gather, or I will come, and they have everything locked!