bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145084
 25.09.2017
As a child, I thought, “I will become a guitarist, all my grandmothers.”
has grown up. stood. At the concerts there were men.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №145083
 25.09.2017
Tolkien wrote the word “gnomes” as dwarves. After the publication of The Hobbit in 1937, then-English grammar Nazis condemned Tolkien for deviating from the literary norm of dwarfs, recommended by the Oxford Dictionary. But Tolkien did not change anything.
He was the editor of the dictionary.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145082
 24.09.2017
- You have in the resume indicated "conflict resilience". Have you worked a lot with people?
With the Git.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №145081
 24.09.2017
Tagged with "Star"
Someone whispered to my aunt that if a child has sores, it is necessary to smash the nose with a star from the inside. I didn’t like going to my aunt.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145080
 24.09.2017
Q. Are all the algae good?
yyy: so the evil alkas do not survive, sooner or later they find on their head
And only the good live and heal until the end of the liver.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №145079
 24.09.2017
Ok.but remember exactly in 11 shops will turn into useless buildings)))))))

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №145078
 24.09.2017
To the author of the article that the most important thing for happiness is a lot of sleep and sex, I only have one question. Why, instead of going to bed, did he write about this?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145077
 24.09.2017
There is no way to humiliate more than to write "orthography and punctuation of the original". Even if the original mistakes are not at all or they are not so rough, it seems that the author is a finite fool and a double (

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №145076
 24.09.2017
"These fruits are excellent carcinogens"

From a pseudo-dietetic article.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145075
 24.09.2017
xxx:...a bright example of what we collectively call the Shnurov Law:
xxx: With due diligence, an honest protest against the system can at the same time be made a very profitable commercial enterprise.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145074
 24.09.2017
With the Hicks, comment on an article about a virus-blocker requiring naked photos to unlock:
I propose to write a social virus in the style of "Remove 100 liters of garbage from the street to unlock the computer"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №145073
 24.09.2017
“Nothing disturbed our armed guard at a specially guarded facility – in the semi-prefecture, when the echo of a massive safe hit the ground came before it.”

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №145072
 24.09.2017
Babkina vs Seagal. Who is more dangerous?
My opinion is Babkin.
Seagal at a time can hit three, no, a maximum of five people.
Babkina can dry up the brains of thousands of spectators at once.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №145071
 24.09.2017
"In the forest a tree tree was born" perfectly performed on the motif of the "Holy War". Maybe you didn’t know, now know.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145070
 24.09.2017
Summerskeyl brings another – really crazy – story. Dr. Lane was married to the sister of George Drisdale, who suffered from an incurable and secretly tormented illness. According to the idea of the time, Drisdale would sooner or later lose his clarity of mind, become sluggish and helpless, and the thought of this so tormented him that he inscended his own suicide in order not to become a burden to his family. Then, however, he returned and even learned to be a doctor, because there was finally a doctor who helped Drisdale. George's disease was masturbation, and that doctor offered the patient to try sex, and as a hand removed.

For Drisdale, the connection between masturbation and sex was completely unclear, many doctors too, and all of them predicted him a life full of suffering and degradation, since it was then believed that from masturbation they blinded and lost their mind. Drisdale subsequently revised his views and wrote a book explaining why marriages in the current version do not help people, advocating the spread of contraception and sexual freedom for women. He published it anonymously in order not to damage the family’s reputation.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145069
 24.09.2017
A realised erotic dream immediately gives birth to a new one.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №145068
 24.09.2017
Business Class

I drove my son here to my grandmother and went to business class for the first time in my life.

Impressions are double, as if chairs are more convenient, dishes from the menu are called tricky, but, in general, somehow not o-g-o-g-o, for such money we expected more.

In the beginning came the most important pilot and then tried to drink us champagne, it turned out that it was a steward, he just looked like the minister of heaven, no less.

In the whole business class there were only three of us: my son and I and a Hindu in Chalme.

The doors are already legalized, we drive to the runway. Suddenly, due to the curtain of the economy-filled class, two large-caliber madam Hryzacueva appeared: a mother of forty years and a daughter of fifteen years, a smiling minister of the sky approached them and this conversation took place between them:

- Young man, I look at you here completely empty, you can put me with the child, or we have a whistle there, on the one hand, the children wept, on the other, the Chinese scream, and do not turn out at all. The feet have nowhere to go. Torture for 4 hours. and? Well please. What are you worth?

Steward made a understandable face and said:

Well, please, this is the case. You can sit in this row, but I must immediately warn you that since you are not a business class passenger, I will not be able to serve you at the business class level, but I will not be able to help you.

- Oh, so understand all, we do not pretend to your pineapples in champagne, as they say - we do not live this way, we are somehow. The chair is widened and thank you.

"Sorry, I have not agreed that, unfortunately, you will not be served and stewards of the economy class, because you will get out of their care, so you will have to fly without lunch and even without tea. If you agree, please sit down and attach your seat belts, we will take off now.

The Hryzatsuevs looked around, murmured and, without answering the minister of heaven, dive back behind the curtain.

Steward noticed that my son and I were unwilling witnesses to their conversation, blinked and smiled.

I asked :

And if they agreed to your terms and stayed, would you not even pour water into them?

Oh, of course, I would have poured and even fed like you. What a pity? Just people want to eat fish under fungal sauce and fall in wide chairs. During the years of my work, I have been met with such conversations hundreds of times, but none of them ever agreed to fast for four hours. I’ll tell you more, when the economist’s lunch ends, the two will come back here again and say, “Now we’re agreed to get a little hungry here.”

After an hour and a half, Hryzatsueva really appeared because of the curtain and gently asked the steward:

Where did you say I could sit? here here?

Steward made a sad face and replied:

- Unfortunately - it is no longer in my power, if before the take-off, as I suggested, please, and at the moment you can only help the commander of the crew, but he is now a little busy...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №145067
 24.09.2017
The triumph of Russian shipbuilding. The largest and most powerful nuclear icebreaker in the world, Siberia, is 173 meters long and has a crew of 73 people. The estimated value is approximately 1 billion euros.
Not very new Yacht Abramovich Eclipce, 163 m long, crew of 72 people plus the possibility to take on board another 92 passengers, two helicopters in hangars, two helicopter platforms, 12 hiking boats, a submarine, anti-missile weapons. The cost is approximately 1 billion euros.
I am tormented by the thought – is it a cheap icebreaker or a yacht expensive?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №145066
 24.09.2017
> because then it was believed that masturbation [] loses the mind

With the loss of the mind, people actually first degrade to purely fleshly pleasures, and there are already openly choking.
The G-logic with the confusion of cause and effect is generally the favourite combat graffiti of the then scientists (all) and some of the present (unrecognized alternatives).

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №145065
 24.09.2017
> Connect to this "water pipeline" the machine is not possible, the pressure is not the same. The canalization? The hole!

He wrote a long angry post about education, but was cold in the process.
A) In the village everything requires maintenance and repair, and not the relationship "fu-mobile-old". The pump with its valves and membrane, suddenly, too.
B) The term “pressure” is used only in a dispute, and there is pressure and productivity on the line.
C) the machine can work from any pressure that is enough to pump water through the valves for the program timeouts. If at the same time the powder is not washed out of the bunker, its hands will be splashed into the drum.
D) The pump can not work on a closed valve, so it is usually filled with a barrel, and the machine is taken from there. Productivity here does not matter, and half a meter of difference usually satisfies p.
D) Advanced level for non-drinkers: if the valve is 220 V (99% of cases), instead of them, the socket is connected and the direct tube is taken out into the tank. The pump is plugged into the hose and socket, and instead of opening the valve, the machine simply turns on the pump. Here it is critical that the net performance provided p.B., and that the pump does not burn the relays, designed for the power of the valve (usually put intermediate, with the washing of the nearest city-forming).
I will not comment on the hole. For some reason, my machine is not forbidden by religion.

Use your brain, Luke.

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