bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №117232
 13.08.2015
My parents were acquainted. In the 90s, she married an American, not poor at all and not even a middle class.
She regularly visited her parents. Once I came with my husband, about 95-96 years old, I was studying at the institute then. We came to visit them. I remember very well how he said at the time: “You don’t understand what country you ruined.......... And you destroyed it all yourself.”
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Did your parents have a friend who moved to the USSR? Well there, married / married, or just took, dropped everything, bought a ticket and broke? At the bad end, a poor boy or an oppressed Negro came to the embassy and asked - take me to the USSR?

was not? How interesting. And why?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117231
 12.08.2015
Zadolbayka 18024, probably, does not allow that the wearers of "smiling" sweaters can also have a sense of humor. And the tactic, unlike the topic starter, is clearly more. My 50-year-old mother wears a T-shirt with the inscription “Girls Don’t Cry.” And yes, she knows very well what is written there. That’s why I bought.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117230
 12.08.2015
Bkmbx: One person suggested that everyone who was going to have children should take the “ready/not ready” exam.
pipipipi: And forcing to keep the child in you until you pass the re-examination.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117229
 12.08.2015
Or really, you get acquainted with a man, you understand what you liked, you call in a movie or a cafe, and it will immediately begin - "Aaa, a deer, wanted to take my husband away!
and----
1st What religion does not allow a man to say at this point that he is married?
2nd Why do I know about this incident to my wife?

[ + 13 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117228
 12.08.2015
They remember the crack. The only interest in life, right?
You, good citizens, then remember the ban on anti-socialist literature, rock music, remember the press tormented by censorship. Remember that it was impossible to travel through the Union like white people. Wherever you go, bring your travel certificate. Do you understand? The Soviet man cannot ride for his pleasure, only for work! Going abroad? Yes, all your alleged torture with a visa is a mosquito cheek. Prove that you deserve to visit a Riga.
And this is the most free education, the subject of your unrestricted fap – do you at least remember that distribution is the mother of teaching? Throw them into the dust and quack there until you work out how much the father said.
The village lived no better than the city. Do you have a goat? Pay the tax. Do you have 10 chickens? Pay the tax. of nature. And when you carry milk to give and check it for fat, they can also punish - say, diluted brought. You will think about building - instant delivery and verification. For it is impossible for a Soviet honest man to earn so that he has enough for something more than sausages and cowards.
There was a lot. And I do not need to repeat this wickedness, this incredible humiliation of human dignity.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №117227
 12.08.2015
Review of Wi-Fi antenna on the website of the online store:

Just bought, brought and unpacked. For a long time I turned in my hand the support, feeling how my muscles were filled with force - I always dreamed of a second hood! Having seen the 2a magnet, I immediately decided to check them, as a result, I almost pulled off the wall from the refrigerator - the magnets were very strong! Having remembered why I bought this antenna, I connected it to my router, sprinkled the old one in the corner, took the smartphone in my hands and walked vividly to the furthest corner of my apartment - to the toilet (in general, the kitchen is the furthest, but it was for sitting in the toilet that I bought this black magic rod). Previously, sitting in the toilet and wanting to play the phone, I had to open the door and literally on extended hands to catch the wi-fi signal. It was very uncomfortable, especially when I had guests at home. Because of the bad signal from the standard router antenna (and the appearance that opened in the open toilet door when I was sitting there with my arms stretched forward, like an angry corshun) I lost all my friends! Now, the signal in the toilet doesn’t fall below 90% – I just don’t have words! Soon there will be the laughter of my new friends in my house again.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №117226
 12.08.2015
I go on the street. A little behind are father and son. My father is 40 years old and my son is 5.
To communicate with people, you need to read a lot. And know a lot of clever words.Then you will know what to say in response. You were called a gorilla. And if you read it, what would you say, “And you are a macaca!” The Makaka! And your ass is red!" And you don’t know that word. So he kept silent and ran to complain to me.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117225
 12.08.2015
>>The quality of life does not fall relative to Switzerland, but relative to what was before.
When you moved from a shalash to a 1 bedroom apartment - your quality of life has increased, you can think of children.
If you move from a house of 400 square meters with a servant in a 3-room apartment - the quality of life falls, at this point you don't really want to reproduce.

You have described a lower level of life. And quality of life is when you live in a house of 400 square meters with a servant, but your city has not been repairing roads for decades, a dozen murders a day that no one wants to investigate, a local chemical factory poured tons of waste into your favorite river, and so on. And at some point you decide to move to a three-bedroom apartment in a European country in a city where the last murder was in the 19th century, the roads are built on conscience, and for the spilled oil from the engine on the road the driver is exposed to a low bill to pay for the cleanup of the street. This is the improvement of quality of life.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117224
 12.08.2015
Write where you are so hungry. We will send you humanitarian aid, a lot of regions
He is ready to feed you. And it’s not the bush’s legs that will be poisoned, but our delicious foods.
--------
In Kaliningrad, be kind.
Before the sanctions, 80% of our food was imported from abroad.
With sanctions from the Russian Federation carried something expensive and unpleasant.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117223
 12.08.2015
And here’s the outcome – you want Western salaries, do nothing and don’t pay for housing and food as in the West with Western salaries. Turn on logic for a moment.

This phrase made sense 5-10 years ago. Now, in the cost of utilities, food, services and other things, we have compared with Europe, and some countries have even surpassed. But at the same time we have neither salaries of the same level, nor roads of the same quality, etc.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №117222
 12.08.2015
The year at 20 rested with a fellow student in Sochi, a local type massager came to us on the beach: you, girls, urgently need a massage, you (taking your hands) and here the muscles are reduced, and this is what you need.

We studied medicine. And popularly (locally matte, otherwise he understood badly) explained to the comrade that there is no muscle in the human body, which begins in the area of the stasis of the thigh and ends in the middle of the right buttock.

A couple of days pass, this footage once again walks on the beach, slapping the unmarried holidaymakers and offering their services. He strikes upon us, knows (the friend is fire-red, it is difficult not to remember) and with a loud "And these will leave unrested, intelligent too!".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117221
 12.08.2015
Duckling: Girls who have clean legs, without a single mushroom and mosquito bite, without scratches and scars on their knees, how do you have fun at all?
WP8: on soft furniture, so I think

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117220
 12.08.2015
aaa: Ozhegov insists that there is no word Arbidol, there is the word Fuflomycin.

bbb: Fuflomycin can not be synonymous with Arbidol, because By the name, it is immediately clear that this is an antibiotic produced by radiant fungi, it is naive to expect antiviral activity from it. : o )

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117219
 12.08.2015
The Habr:
Conspiracy theory is the dream that at least someone has everything under control.
Yyy: “To test the possibility of a worldwide conspiracy, try simply to organize a cluster of student building units.”

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №117218
 12.08.2015
At a certain point in your life, you realize that the world is full of people who do the same thing as you, and the same as you, but get times, tens of times more or less.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №117217
 12.08.2015
Have you been on the internet lately? There was recently one with psychoses, now a girl with panic attacks from one kind of children. Are there grandmothers among you? Well, let’s demand that all men stand still and smell violets, did not try?
No one goes to a psychiatrist.
You can’t love even blacks, even bus drivers. But demanding that they play ghosts when you appear is a bit too much, right?
To hurt her is shameful. Shame not to be treated.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117216
 12.08.2015
X: I don’t put up the giraffe! After the shower he belted with a towel, bended and broke the towel on his ass!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №117215
 12.08.2015
Steroids are synthetic hormones.
= = = is = is = is = is = is
You can’t read it anymore, and you understand that you’re stupid. Steroids are hormones based on cholesterol. And these are sex hormones and hormones of the adrenal cortex. So I went to teach biochemistry.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №117214
 12.08.2015
When I was 19 and my brother was 5.

I was on my brother’s back.
All over the house, from the end to the end.
“Don’t hurt me,” my mother said.
“Don’t be upset,” said the father.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117213
 12.08.2015
Serehio: I’m going past a wife sitting on a women’s forum. I see the topic of the forum "I am looking for a man 19 cm"
Serehio: Well, I think the aunts were completely shrinking. Not only is "c’s accuracy up to a millimeter"(c), but the forum also writes about it.
Serehio: I told my wife. She looked at me, you would see.
serehio: It turns out to be a forum of porcelain doll collectors. And dolls, it turns out, have standards of size. 12, 19 and 25. And there some lady asks where to buy a puppet man with a height of 19 cm.
Serehio: Now it is somehow uncomfortable to look a wife in the eyes.

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