bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117432
 18.08.2015
At one of Henry Ford’s factories, a brigade of workers received money for resting. It was a service brigade that was responsible for the uninterrupted operation of the conveyor. In other words, the repairers. They were only paid when they were sitting in the rest room. As soon as the red lamp of the breakdown of the assembly line was lit, the counter stopped, charging them money.
First, they always made repairs promptly to return to the rest room faster. Secondly, they made repairs always qualitatively so that they did not have to leave the room soon due to the same malfunction.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117431
 18.08.2015
The Rabbi of Mukachev died and stood before God.
Where are you born? God asked him.
“In Austria-Hungary,” replied Rabbi.
Where did you go to Heather School?
In the Czechoslovakia.
Where did you marry?
In the Hungary.
Where was your firstborn born?
In the Third Reich.
Where were your grandchildren born?
In the USSR.
Where did you die?
In the Ukraine.
“My dear Rabbi,” said God, “you have had to travel a lot in your life.
“No, God,” replied the rabbi. I have not left my hometown all my life.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117430
 18.08.2015
- xxxx, again, how are the naked babies related to the topic of the article?
- yyyy, I think naked girls are appropriate in any context. This is when they are dressed, it is a controversial question: appropriate or not.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117429
 18.08.2015
xxx: Stasia found in Istria my query: "naked pink slopes online without text and registration"
Who was there at my house and was looking for it???? to
YYY: I, but the request is not mine
Zzzz: It was me.
XXX: Fuck...
XXX Why God?? to
zzz: you were so nervous when I explored the cash mosaic
Zzzz: What I decided to leave you in memory

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117428
 18.08.2015
Yyy: I will tell you more - women and watch often =D
yyy: One of my groupmates recognized the groupmate because I already saw his ass somewhere, and I remember where!)))
Yyy: She didn’t remember the face, but here’s the ass great =D

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №117427
 18.08.2015
Two thousand years later, people will excavate the “Matrix” discs and the Crusades will begin between:
Orthodoxy recognizes only the first part.
The morphicists believe that morphus will only remove them from the matrix.
- Neosites that will deny the importance of other characters
The most aggressive in any camp will be the wicked who have not understood anything, but they need to offend a neighbor for something.
Most sufferers will be those who will say that this is just a movie.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117426
 18.08.2015
Players are such gamers)))
I am sitting in the pharmacy, listening to the conversation between the buyer and the seller.
A child of three years. How to take this medicine?
Children from one to three years take one measurement spoon.
One-dimensional spoon... what is it?
And then it came ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117425
 18.08.2015
From comments from Habr:

111 What if?Ozone in Russian translation. Let’s see the adequacy. In Russian, it is three times cheaper than the original.

222: Transportation costs

111: Non-financial expenses How then do the Chinese sell a piped rope for $0.95 and free shipping? Do they also make profits?

ZZZ: There is no revenue. But one day, the boy gets a team from the Center and shouts “Great Mao!” and goes to kill everyone. =) is

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117424
 18.08.2015
by Evgenia Beljakova:

Cats under the window scream very much like pebbles. You close your eyes and you are in the palace of Padishah :)

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №117423
 18.08.2015
You will find out about the successor of Yakunin when white smoke goes out of the shelter (Twitter)

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117422
 18.08.2015
Wizzard Rick:
Chota was sad. As part of this disappointment, went to buy pets, according to the old memory. But unfortunately, we have the region to a sufficient extent Buddhist, so we have to bite the drizzle. And so that you can understand all the sense of lightlessness and gracelessness - in our region you can buy a cosher matza with the taste of bacon.
Beyonce and Karl!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117421
 18.08.2015
If a man is an idiot, it will be long.
I sit at work, choking over German verbs. There are guys in the department. One approaches, looks through his shoulder and asks:
Why is this for you?
I will learn German and change my job to one where money is given.
The first fell under the table. Somewhere from the corner:
There "you can give you fantastic" is enough.
Half an hour of brownies. The Unknown (

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №117420
 18.08.2015
The St. Petersburg tragedy with elements of crime and action in three parts, is presented by newspaper headlines.

part one.
"On the head of Chizik-Pyžik was put a condom".
"Unknown people stumbled over the chizik-pychik, stopping him from ‘breathing’".

Part of 2.
"Conservative from Chizik-Pyzhik in St. Petersburg will be removed by the city authorities".
"St. Petersburg officials promise to release Chizhik-Pyzhik from the condom".
Chizik-Pyzhik has been suffocating in a condom for 4 days - no one can remove the condom from a little bird.

part three.
"Rescue of the Monument of Chizik-Pyzik from a condom".
"There was a brave man who was not afraid to remove the condom from Chizik-Pyzik".
"Petersburger removed a condom from Chižik-Pyžik, risking his life".
The resident of St. Petersburg independently “saved” Chizhik-Pyzhik from a condom".

What heroic did you do this Monday?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117419
 18.08.2015
Devaikin: Again a call from the "Center for the Study of Societies. The opinion" The poll is being conducted in connection with the upcoming elections of the mayor of Moscow in September. O_O
kbushminkin: a call from the past?! to
Devaikin: and from the future) should ask a question of verification: what is the exchange rate of the euro.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №117418
 18.08.2015
The first pro-rector of UFU Serostan ("effective manager") conducted the certification of engineers at the physics factory and asked the astrophysicist who is studying the stars: "And who allowed you to work at night?"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117417
 18.08.2015
From "Shut your sexist mouth up":

I really like the bright colors, so I took the berry color. I approach my mother at the box office where she is waiting for me and listen to her lecture about the fact that it’s a girl’s color and she won’t buy these jeans for me.

Ask a boy and his mother, what color is this - a berry girl?


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117416
 18.08.2015
From the congregation:

By the way, I thought: "manifest" is "a festival of money". Well, as "Octoberfest" and all that...

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117415
 17.08.2015
My mind was hardly dependent. I go with two Labradors in the park. Both on the lead. And here the cows become very sad and tense cheeks. And an enthusiastic whisper from behind: Look, he’s coming! It is coming!!! to
I turn around. Holding behind the tails of my cockroaches is carapuse. Like an elephant in a bakery! Behind him, two very happy men look at him. I regret, for a few seconds struggled with the desire to ask who of them was my mother.
Who doesn't know - the child did not risk, Labrador dogs are good, but still, they are also large dogs, can accidentally push. It all ended safely. But I hope my mom will send these two to the board if she reads.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117414
 17.08.2015
Tag: I am dismissed
WOW: Tell me
Q: Do you remember the story of engineers and humanitarian scientists? So we have the same, the customer sent a letter in which he asks to make a metal box (attention) of organ glass BLUE color!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117413
 17.08.2015
TwinsUn 17 August at 14:42 :
The Sissy!

Zedd (Bess) 17 August at 14:42 :
Where is???? to

TwinsUn 17 August at 14:43 :
You just saw the accelerated team /ping in action

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