bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №117212
 12.08.2015
xxx: A separate boiler awaits the authors of the Kursk station of Moscow in hell
YYY: but they won’t find him.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №117211
 12.08.2015
What is the point of offering 3-4-5 times more money, if such a salary with a very high probability will come the same muddle, who wants to stress less and get more?

Our city fathers also discussed this year, determining the salary for beach rescuers at the level of the subsistence minimum (about 6 thousand).
After a month of the beach season, they convened a meeting in the city council and sincerely astonished, looking for the culprits: "how is it so!!! No one wants to work"

When they were told "the boys, so the salary about nothing" the cry was still that "you all translate into money, so you can't" (at a salary of 150 it's easy to say that you can work for 6)

This year there are no beaches without rescuers.
Because all the youth went where money is paid.

Who is wise?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №117210
 12.08.2015
>>> For some reason, Russian cheeses have no taste and are more like a tasteless chewing gum. The taste is only in Kostromsky - salty.

You, if anything, read the label to the end, now there are cheese products in the form of cheese, here they are really rubber rubber. My colleague jokes: now the cakes on the street consist of components: water, thickener, flavor "Cake".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №117209
 12.08.2015
XXX: Flowers of grief and sorrow painted my face
MeGoMa4o: What is it?
and xx :(
MeGoMa4o: Are you a sad guy?
XX: Are you, like primitive people, able to decode information contained only in primitive graphic images?
MeGoMa4o: What?? to
Thread: XD
MeGoMa4o: What is RJosh?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №117208
 12.08.2015
Benefits: A pleasant spa area. Disadvantages: PHOTOGRAPHER PAVEL, who offers intimate services to everyone
And who can do it with dignity.)

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117207
 12.08.2015
An American raped a horse.29-year-old boy explained to law enforcement that he wanted the animal to get pregnant from him. I wanted the goat to get pregnant with me. I hoped that we would have a centaur." A man explained...And what are you ready to do to your dream?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №117206
 12.08.2015
The Russians, of course, have a difference between "can’t", "can’t at all" and " categorically prohibited", but it is inversely proportional to the force of the prohibition. My wife took pictures from her trip to the United States. On one of the photos, they all stand on the shore of some muddy lake, right behind the sign "DANGER! The alligators! Do not cross!"

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117205
 12.08.2015
We replaced our usual favorite food with more affordable... instead of cabbage we used shrub leaves, ate frogs... within a month my mother and older sister died... (Jack Griffin) a memory of a man who lived in the United States.
It is...
Great googling exercise for beginners. The task: (1) to find the source and (2) to understand what is written there. Questions for Self-Control:

1st Who wrote the story of Jack Griffin?
2nd Who translated it into Russian?
Three How old was Jack during the Great Depression?
4 is From what bush did Little Jack eat the leaves?
5 is What other animals (other than frogs) did the hungry boy eat?
6 is What year did Jack’s mother and sister die? When was the Great Depression?
7 is Do you think the English text is reliable? Why is?
8 is How is the English text different from the Russian translation? How do you explain this difference?

Indication: everything is open access and indexed by search engines.

And I advise the preachers to take a quote about the Great Depression from Steinbach, “The Grains of Wrath.” Maybe from a book, maybe from a movie.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117204
 12.08.2015
Talk about knives.
We had a field in the yard, but there was no gate. We gathered all over the courtyard and broke a large iron gate near the school from the neighboring area. Then the students of that school came to us and closed their gates at us. We did not shrink and opened the door for the second time. They stayed here, they have been here for 20 years.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117203
 12.08.2015
Attention to Megaphone customers
Due to the unusual positioning of the hands of the new leading programmer,
It is recommended to approach the service with extreme caution "promised payment",
The amount of the commission is automatically deducted from the promised payment.
And as a result, the internet (bubble crack) does not appear!
If you want to drop the missing amount to make a review.
for the main service, then this money (the thunderstorm) is paid in part.
The promised payment, and the internet (thunder and lightning) DOES NOT appear!!!! to
crowdfunding action - give us 10% of the type))) Well...you want to live - know how to turn.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117202
 12.08.2015
From comments to a new company based on Google:
Google didn’t have anything to buy and he decided to buy himself

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №117201
 12.08.2015
My Russian friend knows badly.
I don’t want animals at home, I don’t like them. And in general, I’m a sadist—a shocked girlfriend slowly digests the news. He sees her face and understands that he said something wrong.- Well, that is, the gardener! The gardener!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №117200
 12.08.2015
xxx: Pips, do you have familiar specialists who can conduct a deep audit of a complex system?
xxx: the client is willing to pay well
xxx: is interested in the person, not the team
XXX: Because everything is over confidential
Yes, one person is easier to eliminate.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №117199
 12.08.2015
I want to drink French wine on Saturdays and eat cheese with mold, why is this condemned by many who sit here?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №117198
 12.08.2015
How I earned on freelance:
1) registered, gave 50 cents (27 rubles) for registration;
2) Waited two weeks
3) Deleted the account and took his 50 cents (32 rubles).

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №117197
 12.08.2015
It does not follow from the fact that you are offended and humiliated that you are bad, but that you are good also does not follow, but only that you are weak.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117196
 12.08.2015
There was a small case at work. As a result of my not very competent excavation in the database of the site, in our catalog got an old-old service, which we do not provide for several years. At the price of 0 rubles. In the evening, three purchases were made. Okay, I call the customers, explain that the mistake, accidentally got, everyone understands everything, they say that they specially arranged the purchase so that we can fix our basket. All except one. The man begins to download the rights, say that according to the law of the offer, we are obliged to sell him this service, there is a description, there is a price, I want to buy it, and I will file for you in court, I am a lawyer, etc. I understand that a man is either bored or just intentionally going into conflict. I answered, well, well well. We acknowledge your mistake, no problems, consider that the service we have sold to you, however, can not provide. Therefore, in accordance with the law on consumer protection, I offer you to issue a refund of money in the amount of zero rubles, zero copies. Or, if you do not need such money, and you still want to use the services of our company, choose any other available position. The difference in value you will have to pay.
The man was silent for five seconds, and then so long: "Well, you and суууууууука" and throws the phone.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №117195
 12.08.2015
The government proposed to limit livestock in private farms. At the same time, I propose to reduce the cattle in the government.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №117194
 12.08.2015
Dna came to the cafe to check the mail, and the waitress told her: show the passport. And he says, here is another. He said, “There is no wifey. And she is him: and you have a tiramisu in the menu - and mascarpone from where, m? And he is her: and you have a rainbow on your shirt! And she is to him: and you have a picture of Eva Green naked on the wall, and the "18+" mark where?! And he says to her: I have to check again, maybe you have cowards! And she's like that - once, and the shirt raises: what, you're convinced? And he is like that: Well, we will not be without a passport anyway. She then says to him, “Okay, I’m 37, my son is eleven, divorced. And he says, “My thirteen years, I haven’t seen it for two years. Your eyes are beautiful. If very necessary, check the mail, password: the name of our cafe, only the opposite. And she says to him: thank you. I left the phone later.

by _DNA

The quote is not mine, just liked, a year ago, it would be deleted.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №117193
 12.08.2015
In general, the whole list of your fairy tales tells about life in a big city in Soviet times (or in general childhood).

My parents were acquainted. In the 90s, she married an American, not poor at all and not even a middle class. One of the parents (I don’t remember who exactly) is a descendant of “white immigrants.”
Not the essence.
She regularly visited her parents. Once I came with my husband, about 95-96 years old, I was studying at the institute then. We came to visit them. I remember very well how he said at the time, “You don’t understand what country you ruined. You have a child born (free) - it immediately begins to be treated for free. Then he goes and receives compulsory free secondary education. Then, if you want, a free high school. Then his state provides work, although he has zero experience. If he leaves to another city - he is given a place in a dormitory and put in line for free accommodation. In a few years, he gets his own free housing. And then the state pays him a pension that he can normally live on. And all this time he is treated for free. We have not even dreamed of this - even secondary education for children is a considerable burden on parents, and the higher many simply cannot afford. Own housing - a half-life loan, health insurance not everyone can afford. For serious operations, many sell everything they have. And you destroyed it yourself".

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