bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116212
 17.07.2015
They say that with a good word and a gun you can more than just a good word.
I think that with a good word and a big rubber dildo, you can also more than just a rubber dildo.
WOW: It is obvious that with the expansion of many ways, many opportunities are also expanded.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116211
 17.07.2015
Why do we have an accountant?
Here is a system setup:
Dear body, beautiful, the proportions there are good, everything looks perfect.
Sound with good buffers.
And inside the other type of cellar, office, difficult tasks are not capable.
Memories are lustful, hard will put small containers.
And it turns out to be a beautiful but almost useless office machine.
A fairly accurate description.)
© Flamberg

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116210
 17.07.2015
from ZH
70% of women imitate consensus.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №116209
 17.07.2015
My new girlfriend from Thailand says a small member is not an obstacle to a relationship.
I wish she didn’t have a little one either.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №116208
 17.07.2015
Many great people live for their dreams and often die in poverty, becoming famous only after death, while others spend their lives on the next refrigerator, no one will even remember them and think that they are the most intelligent and business. Count Leo Tolstoy abandoned all luxury and smelled the land in the village as a peasant, dressed as a peasant, ate simple food. His contemporaries also considered him a poor man, laughed at him. Who only remembers them now? Who doesn’t know Tolstoy?
____________________________
Count Tolstoy was employed by generations of serfs belonging to his ancestors and for some time to himself, if anything.
And yet his sudden at old age desire to dress and eat like a peasant did not prevent his wife, numerous children and grandchildren from dressing and eating like landlords. He did the same thing in his youth.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116207
 17.07.2015
Remember the joke about the pink elephant "when will he finally let me go?". I am straight like him. During my pregnancy, I first realized that jokes about eating something like this urgently, at three o’clock at night, peaches in the middle of the winter, sausages of the wrong sort, cherry blossom, silk with watermelon, are not jokes. I used to love cheese, strawberries, oranges, and the desire to eat these foods seemed natural. I couldn’t imagine becoming a ringtone I would love mint. by Matthew!! in any form, until trembling in the knees, squeezing into themselves with two hands and splashing saliva. It would seem OK. Pregnancy is only 9 months. Oh yeah yeah yeah. The child will soon go to the kindergarten, and I bite mint, drink mint infusion, close to mint candy, askorbinka only with mint (I did not even know about its existence before! ), vitamin D3 with menthol, black chocolate with mint essence...I now, fucking, even know how they look and what the taste of all 30 with more varieties of mint. Don't believe the fairy tales about "only 9 months"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116206
 17.07.2015
[16:24:06] xxx: serva, there are two bd unclear on the servaque - taskfreak, and wordpress, do you need them?
[16:24:32] yyy the second not
[16:24:33] yyy: the first yes
[16:24:48] xxx: that I will restore

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116205
 17.07.2015
This is how most people live on this planet.
So I understand what’s important for you is to change your clothes every year? Types of smartphones, cars and other shit? I live without a refrigerator. And what?:D
You are so degraded that you are just PSC.
To live is to realize yourself. To develop, to act. Instead of running from the refrigerator to the plasma, waiting for them to be replaced with newer models.
------------
Mixed into a bunch of people, horses... It is strange that realization of yourself in you is opposed to a good standard of life. For often, in general, on the contrary, the more you realize yourself, the greater the level of comfort you can afford. And crying for thanks (and self-realization is no easy thing), there is no way without me. I better spend this time reading interesting books, more will make sense.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116204
 17.07.2015
Better watch women’s beach volleyball. A more interesting spectacle.
yyy: no... I can’t... I forget the rules and am unhappy when the judge punishes my favorite.)))
Please tell me what you’re following :D
Yyy: Well, by the way, the volleyball players are long pipets. I do not like such...
A colleague told him how in his mature youth (years 20-23) walked with a team of volleyball players... And what everyone got stuck in the hole... He wakes up in the morning, rises up from the bed, and slightly sees that next to under the blankets are flips of unrealistic size... I looked around, and here under the blanket lies a maid... Lovely says, but has been so upset that since then he has not loved volleyball.
and :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116203
 17.07.2015
I go from work. My wife calls me and says:
Buy a tomato skull on the road.
What is it?????? I am surprised.
Cherry tomatoes, I say. Small ones in a box.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116202
 17.07.2015
Rights in the USSR:
"My gold, something, and right is you have." (c) x/f "Garage"

I am 45, from a family of ordinary engineers, stood in the ranks and performed other delights, so:
"On rights would be silent, citizen!" (c) "Twelve chairs" I. Ilf, E. Petrov

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116201
 17.07.2015
to this:
= = = is = is = is = is = is
I do not even know. Stupidly it works. Hundreds of different models of furniture, clothes, household appliances, while 80 percent are made badly, of poor material, and generally bad.
Per in our saturated age we should slow down.
Phones: 3-4 models with three OS options.
Machines: pieces of five different models in literation, capacity and body type. Public transport and rental.
Wear clothes and shoes only in the studio of the highest quality materials. Mass sewing only shaped clothes, special and "typical" (dozen styles).
Refrigerators, dishwashers, washing machines... several options in size, productivity. Modular furniture construction.
In all options, make it possible to change the color as easily as possible.
Quality products, a minimum of canned and semi-finished products. A working day of 5-6 hours without a break in two shifts. To develop medicine and clean energy sources. Creativity and personal development.
Pepper with a bite in the head. Nafiga and who needs it?
= = = is = is = is = is = is
Something like that was once in the plan. It was called Communism.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116200
 17.07.2015
Exactly Zombie
= is
and quite recently read about a cotton, which has a bunch of awards, development, innovation, etc., and is planted for a solvent ordered in China, fighting drugs.
and----
And what such?
Delorian (the creator of the autolegend of the same name, before that - not the last person in General Motors, the man who invented the automatic transmission) - also fell on drugs. He wanted to make money to save the factory from bankruptcy, but "business partners" turned out to be FBI agents
= the =
The scientist was not a drug addict he bought the reagents for research. This type bought a cake with maca, and you immediately a drug article or a man on the street police say go with us. The man calmly reaches the site and there is an article for resistance when arrested.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116199
 17.07.2015
And what about the daily ten-year brainstorming, blasphemy, reproaches, manipulations, hysterics, scandals on the slightest occasion and degrading comparisons?
_______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
That all of this men know and practice not less, and often more actively than women, but women whip and rape their husbands much less often.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116198
 17.07.2015
Do you have red eyes and do not get enough sleep? ( by
YYY: It’s all because of Spice!
ZZZ: This is a 100% married space! The original spice makes the eyes blue.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116197
 17.07.2015
A 6-year-old daughter asks, “Why do we only have space for two cars on the site?” After all, when I grow up, I will also have my own car.
The wife replies, “Well, you’re going to grow up and probably will be living separately by that time.” – Daughter: “Well, I’d like to live with you a little more. Two or three months. Or seven."

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116196
 17.07.2015
The West has changed its sexual orientation and this explains why it has turned to us.

by KONDEXIII

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №116195
 17.07.2015
One day I visited a student friend. She rented an apartment with another girl. Koda came to her, this girl was already about to go somewhere to leave us alone, and everyone ran around the apartment, collecting some school prints in a folder. I sat down in the chair and quietly watched all this myth. They already started running together, looking for something and at the same time fighting with each other. I suddenly felt that I was uncomfortable sitting - a pack of cigarettes, deep in the pocket of the pants, got into my leg with a sharp angle. I got up, got this package and, without looking at it, rolled onto the table next to the chair and sat back. Suddenly the momentum of the girls stopped, they somehow strangely looked at me and this girlfriend gives my girlfriend a folder with papers, with the words: "OK, tomorrow we copy" and somehow sharply dressed and leaves. I confusedly look at my own, which has also frozen, and I look at the pack of cigarettes that I threw on the table - and it turns out - it's a pack of Gandons! That is, I sat down, waited, then stood up, resolutely rolled a pack of Gandons on the table and sat back, the hint was just unambiguous)))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116194
 17.07.2015
Well, we do not have asphalt... The Russian land rejects it.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №116193
 17.07.2015
Topic of the youngest champions:
I have a daughter at 19, I build a house like a real man. And these what?
Sagros: and you are sitting on the forum of Dota under the nick of Popbol

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