bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №116132
 15.07.2015
When I was a child, I lived alone with my mother. I also had problems with rubbers (well, it’s relatively simple) and cartridges. I am talking about a six-seven year old boy. But my mother didn’t care what problems I had, I had to clean the bed myself and change my clothes myself. I took over the edge, and I turned out, and slipped on it... But there was ‘rachet’ because as she showed she couldn’t do it (and the size of the hands was different). I got caught through impotence.
Wake me up at school, she was also fun: when the alarm ringed, even before he called me, they could already ring me (which is what I’m digging), and if I didn’t get up after the call ended, they drove me out of bed with pins. There was a lot more, but in the army I became a sergeant very quickly, and after the dembel I went to another city without returning home!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №116131
 15.07.2015


St. Petersburg MP proposes to ban Russians from vacation abroad

As far as he is concerned, he is far removed from the law at the legislative level.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116130
 15.07.2015
Today I watched a video of how towels are made.
There they showed that the marriage is broken up and put into production again.
Suddenly I wanted to eat this pain.

Tagged with (o_0)

She herself in shock.
I need calcium.
to buy
Although I do not want to
I want tough toilets.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116129
 15.07.2015
Comments to the picture "25 different captured predators":
I don’t see my ex-wife’s nails on the stand.
So she is wandering somewhere else.
Guys be careful.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116128
 15.07.2015
I walk into the room and hear the conversation of the girls:
- And so that he doesn't go away, you cut the spine in the area of the head, and then do what you want!
Weak sex, ah... I’m afraid to fall asleep.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116127
 15.07.2015
I remember. When we had no rights, the husband was driven by a car in another city by one of his friends, a very expressive Cuban. And then allowing some minor inaccuracy in driving - he grabbed his head with both hands, closed his eyes and shouted, "Oh, what have I done? I am the worst driver!What the spouse has always noticed is that if you do not open your eyes and take the steering wheel with at least one hand - inevitable far more complicated driving mistakes, and even mistakes will be difficult to call.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116126
 15.07.2015
In student years, they drank at a fellow student at a rented house. There was a lot of Port-au-Prince, so we decided to stay overnight. The owner, before cutting off on the only couch, which, by the way, was broken and did not lay down, gave us with a friend some fig in a flower size with a small blanket and one pillow. Through sober conclusions came to the conclusion that this flower shit is a bedroom. We went there both (thanks to "Ahdam" and "Prometheus"). It was hard and cold on the floor, and this bedroom wasn’t hot. In the morning we woke up from the fact that the wife of a fellow student, returning from a night shift, woke us up with an original question: "Boys, what did you sleep in the bedroom"? Doolgo then advised us by nature to take it instead of bedrooms.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116125
 15.07.2015
to this:

from ZJ langobard: 1970-1980s. There is no internet. There are three TV channels, in most regions - two. Purely entertaining content – no more than a third of the time. After midnight (or at night) on the TV nothing - "don't forget to turn off the TV" and the lukewarm monotonous sound.
And adults wrote alarming articles about the fact that children watch a lot of television, about the television addiction of young people, offered recipes to get rid of youth from "telemania" (there was such a word).
I always remember this when I face another discourse of some terrible threats.

— — — —

Given that most of the population of Russia has learned to think and is conducted to propaganda from the zombie fighter... Maybe not in vain wrote alarming articles about "telemania"?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116124
 15.07.2015
At the meeting:
What is the report on spread viruses?
They spread five viruses.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №116123
 15.07.2015
XX: Yesterday gave the car to his wife to go to business and asked to hang a stinker in the car.
My wife came back late when I was already asleep.
X: I got into the car this morning. On the rear-view mirror hangs my dirty socks, and on it a paper with the inscription: "What a car, such a smell."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116122
 15.07.2015
Star Wars and Mad Max are back in fashion. Soon to play a new doom and watch the new season of X files

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №116121
 15.07.2015
to this:
A Soviet joke about your rights:
Please tell me I have the right to...
Yes, a citizen is there.
But you didn’t hear me if I was right.
You have, of course you have.
That means I can...
You can’t eat, you can’t.

The continuation:
But wait, because then the boss can...

Yes of course!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116120
 15.07.2015
What do they do in Rashid?
America has already reached Pluto.
The Atlas V rocket.
1 is yes. U.S. Atlas 5 rocket
Is it on the same one that is equipped with RD-180 engines?
One of them is the RD-180. Did you hit me before that?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116119
 15.07.2015
From Feistel:
Witnesses of GPG.
Are you interested in cryptography?
Let’s talk about cryptography.
Do you believe in open keys?

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №116118
 15.07.2015
“Father, your son has burned your roasted cup of tea, despite all its protection.”
Q: Let me know, mother of the idiot, how did this happen?
WOW: easy and simple: came from the store, threw a package of products on the table and went to play. Next - a coincidence: the package fixed the switch in the position "incl", the water in the cup was, but the lid was not closed. In addition, there was little water. Therefore, the lower thermostat was fixed and could not work, the upper did not have enough temperature, and the water at the time of switching, was.
As a result, your cupcake turned on and did not turn off.
In short, the fool hacked your defense against the fool, not noticing it :-)

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116117
 15.07.2015
The disclosure;
------------
The Savior Propaganda:
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
What did the Soviet power of the USSR give people?
The right to eight-hour working day. For the first time in human history.
2nd Right to annual paid leave. For the first time in human history.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
In 1888, the owner of the "Cais" factory, Yen Érnst Kárl Ábbe established an 8-hour working day, a 12-day annual leave, retirement benefits, etc.

The rest is the same star.
------------
It was meant for the entire territory of the country, and this right was ensured by the state.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116116
 15.07.2015
Emily...

That uncomfortable feeling when you have Quincke's swelling and wildly swollen face, and now you look like Fat U from "Guests from the Future", but none of your acquaintances have noticed the difference!

But it is fun!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №116115
 15.07.2015
It’s not that Zverev is ashamed that he is from Ust-Kamenogorsk, it’s that we are ashamed that he is from here.
Residents of Ust-Kamenogorsk

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116114
 15.07.2015
About unlucky pickupers: 5 years ago in the area of Tretyakovka, there were probably pickupers courses, at which they were taught to meet "originally".and different guys approached me every day and asked:"girl, don't tell me the way to your heart?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116113
 15.07.2015
XXX: For Orwell's quote - in ban. have survived.

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