bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111649
 04.04.2015
When we were 15-16, my girlfriend had a poster with Jim Morrison hanging on the wall. One day, a relative who came to visit demanded that you take a photograph of the boy because it is not modest that he will think of you if he learns that you hanged his photo on the wall. A friend, phlegmatically drinking a cup of tea, said: "He will not think of anything, Aunt Tan, he is dead! andquot; Then for a long time she explained to her parents why aunt Tanya took that she was a satanist and marginalistic.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111648
 04.04.2015
xxx: friends open outbound calyanna "4 elements", suggested to change to "5 factions" - "Erudites discount on tobacco and coal")))
YYY: It’s from Divergent what? I love Harry Potter..there are 4 faculties" it would be great: Griffin, Kalyanvran, Pyongyang and Starbazerin)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111647
 04.04.2015
Now they were travelling to Karamzinka from the military committee. Examination by a psychologist:
Imagine you are watching a movie in the cinema. The cinema is full of people. You notice a fire, what do you do?
I will try to attract the attention of others.
And all that? Notify the cinema administration.
So if the administration is in the room, she will hear it. And if not, why would I run all over the cinema to look for administration while the people in the hall are burning?
People have heard you, so what? The doors in the hall are still closed!
So how can I run to the administration if the doors are closed?
Not those doors. The Emergency! The ordinary doors are narrow, but the emergency key is in the administration.
“That is, I have to look for the administration, take the key from the emergency doors, take it back and open the doors, and all this while there are people in the hall burning without suspicion?
So if people run to the narrow door, they will not have time to get out, they will burn or drown!
"Well, since everything is so serious and the fire is so big, how can I hide this secret from other people while I run to warn the administration?

I went away. Per, I thought: "A fool is unknown"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111646
 04.04.2015
I thought about changing my HTC on Android, the charge does not hold (what there is Skype on the counter...). I read a book about Huawei with writing, I was interested. The girl so praises the quality, maybe, and buy it... And pay attention to the name -
I found one such attentive member on a rubber note, I did not stop using it. I will give characteristics. If it was a marketing move, it worked.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111645
 04.04.2015
I was upset. I remember the time when my father and I were driving the car. The luggage compartment at constipation was in front of us, and we just put a stinking hole bag into the luggage compartment, as a bed. And then the shovels threw the sludge. They also trampled.
There was a deep grief and flies.
There was a germination somewhere in the field, there was an allergy to some flowers. And I went back to the village in the slums, in the shit, in the constipation, and I thought it would be so with me forever :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111644
 04.04.2015
DerArto: Boys, don’t leave your girls on the street. Cats then pick them up and live 40 pieces with them in the same apartment, in terrible hunger and complete sanitation.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111643
 04.04.2015
Here and like this:
--------
Why did you not like the word Sugar?
Tagged with "girlfriend"
Maybe they’re going to go to the cemetery :)
-
This is the classic "12 chairs"
Is it a boy?!!! to
Throw a stone at me if it’s a girl.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111642
 04.04.2015
>>"Videoblogger"Katia Clap broadcasts to the entire planet about what"is unpleasant to break up in APRIORY"... fucking shit.
--------------------
In the news on the TV channel Russia 1 only yesterday broadcasted about the visit of diplomats to LAZANIA. The agreements signed in Lausanne. For those in the tank - LAZANIA, it is such a dish of Italian cuisine, and the Swiss city - LAZANNA.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111641
 04.04.2015
by JAP

The summer. The weather is cool, when entering Volgograd exceeded the speed by 40 km. From the bushes, a goat rolls out, wildly rotating with a rod. The dialogue:
Did you see the sign?
and yes.
Did you, the encounters, not murmur that we are standing?
– No...
Here are the goats.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111640
 04.04.2015
The programmers, it turns out, put a very unexpected meaning in the word "shake";

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111639
 04.04.2015
< mr.proud has created a conversation. 6 Interlocutors >

@advokat > Hi, what are you doing?

Mr. proud > Good morning, colleagues, I wanted to consult on the subject matter.

Seth > Let’s go! I will break up now =)

Stryapchiy > Forever so, they will learn their state legal specialty, and then civilians are distracted from business. Can you tell me how the court of ordinary jurisdiction differs from the court of arbitration?

@dvokat > So what’s there with the prosecution?

Mr. proud > A Hungarian firm, principal, registered in Slovenia, has entered into a contract with a German firm. We are clients of a German company, to which court to file a lawsuit? I think so in the ICC (International Commercial Arbitration Court)?

< stryapchiy left the conversation >

< sedlex left the conversation >

< GREEN_GREEN has left the conversation >

< CBS has left the conversation >

< @goth has left the conversation >

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111638
 03.04.2015
The xxx:
By the way, really thank you to our English woman, she has spent a full time with us on shortcuts, various smiles and other things. Focus on foreign naturally. Individual loops are the dictatorship of these reductions. You are dictated "I roll out of laughter" and you need to write in English LOL and decryption

YYYY :
It is rofl.

The xxx:
I had a 3.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111637
 03.04.2015
It’s embarrassing to tears to be not a ‘girl’ at thirty, but a ‘tete’ at fourteen!
I was quite tall, and I was fat as a child. I was constantly considered older than I am :( Even for my "mama" brother (we have only eight years difference!) tried to accept. Around sixteen, apparently, due to hormonal restructuring, lost weight. Since I do not use cosmetics and do not show up in terms of bust, now, on the contrary, became considered a "girl". And it is cruel!
Until the third class, you can ride on a school ride. Then the conductors and controllers were running, not helicopters at the entrance.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111636
 03.04.2015
I would like to understand this: why do some people need less food, while others do the same, and eat three times more?

The exchange of substances is different.
The speed of production of enzymes.
This is natural, but sometimes changes after birth in both sides. One of my acquaintances after the second birth turned into Buchenwald, which saddened her husband. He confessed that he married her, looking at her dull mother - dreamed that his wife would be the same dull.

And I was after the fourth birth gained 15 kilos - and all...

This was explained to me by our lawyer, a former pediatrician, who still remembers all the biochemistry from the university. Explained, s...ka, heating up a kilo of cooked pasta with meat for lunch! :crazy: And I sat, yogurt sucked... without sugar.... :cry:

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111635
 03.04.2015
Messiah, here is a religionist. Go to the neighboring cabin.

For the suicides.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111634
 03.04.2015
Oh you, suddenly what... Recently it was proved that gay marriage is not needed because it gives nothing. And as we talked about how the property is pressed away from someone - so 100 reasons for marriage, because he turns out to give so much profit in the case of inheritance, and with some other legal things... In general, what I want to say: heterosexuals, well you and pido-races.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111633
 03.04.2015
"Dear pregnant women, disabled people, elderly people and passengers with children, do not hesitate to ask for a seat!"

My classmate a week before the birth went to the universe for an exam. From the distant suburb (one and a half hours by electricity). She woke up in the subway from a massive blow with a stick on her head - in this way a nearby old lady told her that it was not possible to pretend and give up the place.

Yes, people are careless. The most important thing, let’s be careful.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111632
 03.04.2015
2 IT engineers:
We need a slave.
Why Why?
Rings to wash. Oh! Do you remember the brunette-TP that called us all to drop the file on the flash?
Well?
We have to take it into circulation.
and yes! We will call her with the words "we have an insoluble problem, only you can help. For this we will give you a subscription to the priority ones. of service.
And we give the "certificate" a printer test page.
And on both sides we write "Check".
It will go into the cycle.
So we will take her out by phone call.
The system function is "washthecup".
Here is the remote challenge!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111631
 03.04.2015
After the collapse of a great country, each of the former fraternal republics went its own way, but in the ass.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111630
 03.04.2015
to this:

Evgeny, I am always tormented by the question of how to determine - fish or not, in the winter? You have to put it on the standard...
-----------
Fuck, I’m not going to sleep at night now, tell me what is "Pispet fish"?? to

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