No, we and the cat are exactly lazy of the highest degree - now 3 minutes stood in front of the inner door /*which he knows how to open perfectly*/ and stupidly waited for who would open first...

[Discussions of Indian militants]
Jimmy_dwarf: No matter what, Bruce Willis did it all cooler, out of his last strength, in a bloody-alcoholic make-up. And the helicopter shot down and came out of the jeep in drift.
Afanasyev: And could he sing and dance? The same thing!

The world is getting better!! The Scorpions are singing on TV.

Some think they have a taste, but in fact they just have a good appetite.

A fresh story, just yesterday morning:

I came to change in the firm car service winter wheels for summer wheels, from storage, they also...
I sit in the hall, I drink coffee, and suddenly I am called to the master, there I was recommended to change the brake pads (although the car is new, ran 20 thousand) - and it was after 2 minutes after I walked into the gate, I thought, they didn't even have time to remove the winter wheels!!! to
This alarmed me, although I agreed to the replacement, and after thinking, since from the inside of the waiting room to the workshop do not get (pass system), I just bypassed the building along the street and went through the open door of the garage gate....
There I saw this picture: the master next to my car is digging in a container with garbage, consuming some rust pile, and putting it in a branded, with a logo, a bag of spare parts. And in the bag, Tom has one rugged pad already lying... At the same time, my winter wheels are still on the car...
It became clear that no pads were changed to me, apparently, they are so normal in such a run, and the old look to present when issuing invoices, like mine, after replacement...
After evaluating the situation, he did not argue with the master, did not go back to the reception, and immediately, from the shop, quickly went to the office to the boss.
And what do you think he said to me after hearing all this?? to
“How did you get into the cage?”

Further: extremely reluctantly, after talking on elevated tones, the replacement of pads from the account was still removed, it was not even necessary to remove the wheels and demonstrate that the native factory pads are worth, and not their zero, but I was ready to argue to the end and be in that service at least the whole day...

Is it necessary to say that the bill still had the amount for storing the wheels (although I bought winter tires from them, and in the autumn the advertisement was that storing the wheels when buying a set of rubber from them - for free, and after such a plum with pillows - I generally asked them to load the removed winter wheels into the salon)
After half an hour of trial - and this position was erased...

Thank you for not killing me.

The “Clear History” button in internet browsers has saved more families than family psychologists.

It is worth some part of my body to come in a horizontal position, then after some time there is a cat.
But starting with convenience to settle on my back at the moment when I beat the toilet on the four is, in my opinion, some overwork.

by Marinalevy

Dear friends, when you write ham comments, do you think that ham will make your point of view more important, or have you just not learned otherwise?

Yes, Gaidar was 16 years old and his entire population was afraid like a fire - hanging, shooting without a choice of right and guilty, became famous for his fierceness and impudence... Give our 15-16-year-olds the will, because they will also start to improve the world radically and categorically, how much blood they will shed... is it not better to wait until the child is angry?

My plan is a fool.
I needed to catch time, well, I used the standard timer, which, by the way, never checked, because I was absolutely sure that with such a banality there can be no trouble... In general, I put time on the timer, started and, with a sense of duty, put the tablet aside. Two minutes later, the tablet turned off the screen and he, with the same sense of duty, forgot for me, just as I for him. Time passed, it passed, until (a few hours later) I suddenly realized that this passport was meant to signal, I pressed the power button, and here, please: "PI PI PI", bl*t, "PI PI PI PI".
Fortunately, I didn’t need a reminder, but hell, was there a timer at all?

True friends, when they beat you in the legs, do not try to get in the kidneys.

When I want to hit the beautiful girl I liked at the supermarket’s box office, to her question, “Do you have a package?” I negligently answer, “Of course. I can afford it!”

Ura to! At least one good man in this swamp! It is right to say, who in Soviet times was called a prostitute, now called a single mother.

Your husband leaves your daughter with a child for another.
The whole street will scream.

This is:
I think I’ve put something into the world.

Well of course. You are the only one and unique.
It is brutal... hehe. Ordinary bearded fatty unspoiled bear, to whom the wife's shopping list was squeezed. There are thousands of them.)

to this:

To all who do not understand why to learn the mother tongue and try to express their thoughts competently: yesterday on the street heard a young lady boast of a girlfriend on the phone. "I got 10 pounds worse", said the beauty and made my day."

Of course, it’s good to be literate, but it’s bad when the desire to get out of knowledge clogs the brain so much that a person is no longer able to recognize irony. Apparently, the girl’s listened joke was too subtle for the author.

My taste is too specific.
Tell me about them.
Write JSON into a MySQL cell.
The sick bastard.

...
In general, he is paid.
Is there a distribution?
I don’t know what it is =))
Admin : I understand. Question removed
Andrei is there?
The girl: No
Girl: Is he needed?
He knows what distribution is.

Friends with the head!!! to
Title: Your Ass

Who can send me private messages: Only friends
Who can invite me to the community: Only friends
Who can invite me: All VKontakte users

Obviously
____________
This is:
E-V-S: It will now be celebrated by the cellular company that will automatically connect subscribers who are currently simultaneously calling each other.

Which of them will pay?
____________
Both are (