Many know of one of the most expensive fake in the world of art – “Black Square” Malevich. This is not only fake but also plagiarism. The first "picture", more than 20 years before Casimir, was portrayed by the French humorist Alphonse Allé. In 1893 he published this painting under the title "The Battle of Negroes in a Cave in the Deep Night". After this, there was a clean sheet of paper titled “First Communion of Chlorose-Sick Girls in the Snow” and a red rectangle “Cutting Tomato Harvest on the Red Sea by Apoplexic Cardinals.” His most famous work, however, became a musical masterpiece: "A mourning march for the funeral of the great deaf" - a few minutes of silence.

Black is only up to 48 sizes. Further, he is powerless, leopard loins are needed.

At the beginning of the zero walked at the first hour of the night from the comrade, there were 100 meters left to the house. I turn down the path around the corner - the chicken in the cap puts a knife to the blade. In the dark light I recognize an old acquaintance:

The dinosaur? Did you think?!...

Sorry, I did not admit. How do you live?

I am normal...

I have a small business - several service centers for the repair of digital equipment in a city with a population of <350k.

So I decided to open another reception. The room is ready, it remains for the receiver. Advertising in avito, vk, etc. Saturday, the first call from the applicant: "I can't come today, I work, but on Monday morning I am ready to go to an interview." Well, I did not pay much attention, because there are many such calls. On the same day, another, an excellent candidate comes to the interview. And in this field worked, and me and him is satisfied with everything! I teach his program for 4 hours, explain what papers to fill, etc. We agree that on Monday he will go to work, and I will leave the keys to him at the neighboring cafe, as they are our clients.

So on Monday. My phone calls, I’m in the office. The employee calls R.

Hi, I have arrived.

(I) - Good, start working, I'll come at lunch, I'll see what's going on.

R – How to start?

Take the keys, get in and start.

Where are the keys?

(I) - Where-where, in the cafe "C... G..." at the administrator.

R is good.



Well I think the brake is somewhat, okay, just the first day, probably. By lunch, I realize that I am not able to get there, I ask the assistant:

I have to go and see how there is.

In an hour, the assistant calls:

"Listen, and here on the go, another person is sitting, not the one we interviewed on Saturday.

How is it? What did you take?

How were they called?

smoke

This is Vlad!

Tree sticks, so it was the one who first called, came to the interview, and I sat him to work. That is, the guy came to talk, and he said, “Start working!“He has started!

Dima did not come to work and stopped picking up the phone. And Vlad, by the way, so and stayed working, and, in addition, not very bad! As he later said, “This is the fastest interview in my life!”

The feeling of hunger can be stopped with a glass of vodka. But the strawberries can not be neutralized.

Just before the nokaut.

Beginning of 2000. The Drawing.
We go with him to Vasilievskaya. Something urgent. Take documents from the apartment and take someone to sign.
We throw the car at the entrance, run, grab the papers, cut down and nate.
The exit is covered by a silent Mercedes.
- All, he got me - summarizes Kaban.
Who is?
There was a wonderful neighbor in our house. The car park constantly.
Do you know him?
No, but let’s get to know.
The tone does not predict anything good for the neighbor. In the words of Fyodor Mikhailich, we gathered
“To bring some trouble to joy.”

We climb the stairs. We knock at the door. We hold back the urge to immediately serve the genius of parking in the mouth.
The door is opened by an invisible male of medium height and thick design. Looking at the collar. And who would be delighted with the visit of two bald murlocatans with traces of evil on inspired faces and mouths full of obstacles.
– to?
“I’m already opening my mouth to tell the neighbor that he, Mille pardons, misérable and his memeton is frapping the whole secular society in the county, but...
But Kaban suddenly cries out:
“Sensei ni Ray!”
It is used in traditional Japanese worship.
I repeat the gesture on the machine.
The man raises his eyebrows, then picks up, worships in response.
and Ray!
and OSS!
We are straight.
I don’t understand anything, but I keep silent for the case. The sensitive third nostril reports that in this setting silence is not only gold, but also a guarantee of the integrity of the body.
Does the car hinder? The neighbor asks fun.
What a rare, phenomenal insight!!“I want to answer with warmth, “Dove, you are a genius!” but I bite my tongue.
Especially because the face is fuzzy to me and promises nothing good.
And Alexey Borisovich. Sorry for the worry, but emergency circumstances require our immediate presence elsewhere.
I am going down now. Walk to.
And, already closing the door, he notices: "Kekki-no-ju about imammer kat"

Your own mother. Get rid of rude and uncontrollable behavior. One of the basic rules of karate. He washed us!

On the machine we worship again with exhalation - "Oss, Sensei"

We quietly descend the stairs. Finally I shut my mouth:
Who is it?
The storming.
The two. Now we’re going to get rid of him... Where have you seen him?
He gave me the belt.
and stop. I remembered. He was in the cottage when I was performing.
How did he act?
It is brilliant. It was knocked in the third minute.
You’t suffer so much.
That...

It is strange that forests were burning in Siberia, and smoking was banned on the balconies!

I remember one of my first students drove me to hysterics, tears, trembling knees and crying, “I won’t go there anymore! » Then my dad helped me, he very much asked not to abandon the child, saying that such a wonderful practice I will hardly find anywhere else. I am very happy that I did not leave then, but continued to work with this child - yes, not the easiest, but strikingly smart, clever, ingenious - I learned a lot from him. After that, I started a "band" of difficult children at home school because of social aggression.

It was hard, but I found a common language with most of them.

I remember coming to the new child, my mother instructed that you should not go in and interfere. The boy (10 years old) looked at me, smiled, opened his mouth, and... cried.

As he spoke... the windows trembled, the hair rose, the ears hurt!

He stopped only when another one joined his army. the mine.

In a deep shock, he knocked his eyes and looked at me, “What are you talking about, aunt? »

“What are you worshipping? He smiled proudly, “Because I’m an aggressive child! »

I said, “I’m an aggressive trainer! »

“Are there such? “He had doubts.

“Of course! Do you want more? »

“No, I don’t want to... Why did you bring it with you? The boy pointed to the book on which the twist was drawn, with a scaled fist.

“It is? A collection of terrible stories in English. But... you’re unlikely to ever read them, there’s a lot of unknown words.”

“You think... how do you know? Maybe I’ll translate it now. »

It was started)

The best hobby is the one for which money is paid.

A few words about luck.

Giving in debt to close people who have problems is not a pleasant thing. You can perceive this as charity, but for them it is fundamental to return all the penny in a penny and also with interest.
Because otherwise their social status suffers and in our environment this is a basic thing in life.
I gave a loan to a friend. In time could not give, then began to extinguish parts. I see it hard for a man, but talking about writing a message does not want because the principle. I began to think about how to solve the issue in a mutually convenient way. And invented it.
“Misha, I have 3 days of exhibition, I need to help.
What to do?
- Work as a secret agent, like you are a businessman, you do not sell them to anyone, but you are very interested in what others have. Well, in the intersection of communication a few words about my company and about what you (reasonably) think we are more interesting than others.
That is I can. have agreed.
- Well, you bring one customer - think you owe nothing. And these conditions are not just for you – for all agents.

Before the exhibition:
I have a fever here, not tomorrow at all. But! I have a brother – he is not a businessman but an artist, but maybe you can explain what he needs, and he will try?
The artist? I don’t even know... well, fuck it no joke – let’s.

I call my brother. I tell them how to communicate with whom and what to talk to. I think I understood it, and then it will work out.
The next morning he calls and says he’s not allowed. I'm surprised - it's like everything in the lists is but the artists - a separate world. Five minutes later, I wrote what happened. and silence. The next day the same - says that they don't let go, after 5 minutes that passed and again silent.
After the exhibition ends, sends a package of business cards and contacts from the phone with details of who and what. I send it to the sales department.
What about impressions?
There seems to be interest...

By the way, the exhibition itself - a rare city - a car for the people "just look and take your time", a minimum of customers. I do not expect anything in particular.

The sales manager calls:
I have only one question.
and valley!
“I’m not asking you who of the agents gathered the contacts I received. I ask you, Where did he find these people?
What is it?
I’ve been selling for 5 years, one of them is yours. But to catch the deputy head of the largest oil and gas holding company in the country at our profile exhibition is the same as meeting the Pope of Rome, whispering with the Patriarch at the entrance of the five-story town of Turyuble! And here I have such contacts - a dozen, half of them warm and two are ready to work this week!
Yes is. It is incredible. And strange. I have no such level of contacts even though I did not leave the entire exhibition from our pavilion. I will find out from the agent.
I call the actor, the brother of my debtor.
Hello to you! Of course you gave!
What is wrong? The problems? Worked badly?
“Yes, no, everything is great, tell Misha that the debt is over and I owe him more, I’ll soon find out how much.
Oh well super!
Tell me how you pulled out such people.
Why remove them?
In the sense?
"Well, there is no one at all, everyone communicates quietly in the pavilions, I approached, met, spoke, changed contacts - all like you taught!
I don’t know – what does it mean? We had a battle at the exhibition! Have you seen our pavilion?
No, I probably didn’t get to him.
- Misha, our pavilion in the center of the hall!
and no. In the middle of the hall there was a gas station from which I brought you contact.
Guess what exhibition did you go to?? to
Natural Resources of Russia 2019
We are Russian franchisees.
and FAX! And I think why my pass did not work... I lied to the guard that I showed the number in the storage chamber – and I went on both days.
"I don't even know what to say to you - you have the best result - provided you worked without preparation and not on our target group. You could say a million...

What to eat for lunch today, dear?
Meat of lamb in spicy sauce.
Oh! oh! oh!! to
This is written on the dog conserve.

I worked for some time at a receptionist in a fitness club near the university. And one guy attracted my attention, looking like a student. And he was attracted by the fact that sometimes came in a suit (ordinary, not sports), without a bag with a shape, went to the dressing room, was there for a while and left the club. We have cabinets in the locks, but there are few cameras in the dressing room. I was lost in guessing for a long time, until I once witnessed his conversation with another of our visitors, apparently his friend. As literally as possible. G - the hero of the story, D - his friend



Q: Have you been doing this for a long time?

G: What am I doing?

D: Well you go to the toilet here.

G: For a long time - the toilets at the university are dirty, you will not sit down, and there is clean and paper.

D is understandable.



This is what I understand the guy uses all the advantages of the subscription)



P.s to the toilet door leads from the dressing room

My husband and I bought a house and started doing repairs. The mother-in-law is pleased, she loves repairs. Although her help was not requested. In the morning I come from work, and in our house the mother-in-law has already carried out boiling activity, the solution was mixed, some of the old wallpapers were brought for some reason, she stood with her hands on the sides and said - "Here you will have a washing machine, but here under the children's room we will rework, I agreed with Masha to take some there, she bought new ones, the old ones will give you!" Continue in the same spirit. I was, gently speaking, very unpleasantly surprised by her self-government, but she couldn’t say anything. Let’s say, not today. I am sick tomorrow, thank you. And then I say to my husband - you explain to my mother how - somewhat more gently, that this is our house, we will decide ourselves where the child will be, where the washing machine. We choose the walls ourselves. I just say, find words, you know your mother better, and if I start speaking, you will get hurt. My husband is okay, I will talk. And the next day I come home, I sit my dear, sad one. I said my mother was driven out of the house. Why did he expel it? "Yes, I told her - do the repairs you want, and do not go to us, and Olga (that is, I) does not like that you command here." In general, the mother-in-law was upset, saying that her legs would not be in our house, and that we would never go to her again. She left, knocking the door. Oh, I say, you are a diplomat, dear, at least now in the MFA. And the mother-in-law brought us milk from the village for tomorrow, as in nothing. Since then, it has not been in our business at all. My husband is a diplomat.

First day of vacation in Batumi. I go to the store and buy wine for the evening. The seller (with a characteristic accent): “KartOschka?” A strange proposition, I think, but, maybe, this is accepted: “No, thank you.” I get the money, I count. The seller said: “Aa, cash.”

The secret of longevity: food for the stomach should be simple, and for the brain - complex.

Instructions for the electrophone. announced by Dmitry.
In the rubbish!
Passport for the magnetophone.
In the outlet!

In every house there is a box for documents. An old shoe box where old certificates are buried, passports for stolen clocks twenty years ago and crusts of non-existent organizations.
Periodically, space for new unnecessary papers in the "box" ceases to suffice. Then the owners arrange the “cleaning.”

From the yellow instructions flew out a white with purple paper.
"The receipt for the repair of shoes," Dmitry read.
You remember Tankin’s shoes. When I lived in the village. The old man works there, his name is Ashot.
- Ah, she then turned her heels on the stairs of ZAGS. Revealed, said the note is bad. Then I ran and forgot.
And then moving to the city. Are the shoes still in the shop? Five years have passed!
Let us argue!
For a Cognac?
It is going!
Get the car!

*** by

Shapohnik Ashot was considered the local celebrity of the village. There were legends about the old man. According to the first version, his grandfather sang in a choir with Mussolini. It was the ancestor of Ashot who almost destroyed the future dictator. On the other - just the grandfather saved Benito from the fists of classmates of the victim. Later, he struck the dictator's trust and almost personally disrupted the attempt at the "Great Three" in Tehran.

The shoe workshop village survived the fall of the Berlin Wall, the collapse of the Union and the devastating nineties.

At first Ashot walked into the room of a local household. Later, the household house was displaced, the hairdresser moved to the building of an empty store, the watchmaker occupied the room of the closed tires. The old Ashot chose as a workshop a brick barbed and abandoned by all in the courtyard of a household house.

The building of the household house went from hand to hand for a long time until the police took a look. The old man noticed that people with tired eyes and cloudy faces are increasingly wearing shoes to him. Sometimes in shape.
Mark was holding the shoe. Railway assessed and responded with reciprocity.

But not the proximity of the "organs" guarded Ashot. And the reputation.
Once in the shoe workshop were wrapped three brithogels. Probably with bad intentions. Stunned by such boldness, the officer jumped out of the office. Just the day before he gave his wife’s boots for repair. Injure the shoes - in the evening there will be a scandal at home, before which all the bandit settlements of the area will be darkened. His hand shrugged around the cobra, but it froze.

Ashot carefully removed the senseless bodies from the workshop.
- Sandro-jan, dear, call an ambulance, the guys are sick.

Domesticated racketers were later interrogated in the hospital. They refused to give details of what happened. There is a new legend in the village. It is said that Ashot in his youth studied with a Greek master of martial arts. He was invited to Armenia to train KGB personnel.

*** by

Staff and Staff! What has stunned?
The cat looked thoughtfully at the point on the floor. Silence suffered over the cherry bone. Ashot pulled out of his jacket pocket once a snow-white ping pong ball and threw it. Pulling off the old toy, the kitten pushed the new to the neighboring room.
The old man looked around the room. Compound with brushed pens. The abajur, red, bushy, sinking poor light on the plate, on which the cups and dishes are strategically arranged, so as to hide the unfresh spots. At the wall there was a bucket with a Chinese teaspoon permanently included in the socket. A closet across the wall, with numerous shelves. And a little shoes.
At the opposite wall is Ashot’s workplace. Right next to the window on the town street. On the window - a smoking tube - a gift of friends.

The entrance door broke. They argue behind the wall:
Nothing will work out!
You are afraid!
I am? Never ever!

The shoe came out.
Oh, Dima-jan, hello to you dear! Long time not entering. He said he moved to the city. As a wife, as a child?
Thank you Ashot. Everything is OK. All are healthy. I am behind the shoes.
Holding his breath, Dmitry extended the receipt. No muscle trembled on the shoemaker’s dull face when he saw the date.
Well, my dear, I will see. Ashot went into the neighboring room.

As a diligent master, Ashot never discarded the work he had done. An unwanted pair of shoes fell into a box for a year. The number was written on the side. The box went to the regiment. In the second year, he went higher. Five and more years - anthrax.
A box of shoes was found in an anthrax.
The white shoes. These shoes are usually purchased for the wedding. The flying hood. The work took half a day. A very modern style. Wipe out, bring it to normal form - and at least now under the crown. Not so valuable to come out of town in five years.
Recalling the dispute he heard, Ashot smiled in his luxurious beard. swallowing on the shoulders. Some men remain boys even after a hundred years.

I am sorry Dima-jan. Totally earned. I didn’t have time to repair. Come on tomorrow. Tomorrow will be ready.

I come, I mean, to the ZAGS to get married, and they say to me, "The bridegroom must be with you."
Please explain again, why do I pay taxes?! to

When you see the faces of the members of the government, it becomes extremely clear: Not all vegetables are equally beneficial.

I got a story in my eyes today. As a passing man saw a car standing on the side with a raised cap and two girls next to him. Pure gentlemanly slowed down to find out if it helped anything. The girls told me that the car did not start. Well, the man was also not a specialist, so he reasonably offered them to pull the car to the nearest service. They attached the wire, the man touched, but fortunately immediately slowed down, for some reason there, I may have forgotten what to ask. After a moment, he felt a blow in the back of his car. Without realizing anything, he came out of the salon, indeed, the girl's car collided with him. Not hard, but unpleasant. When he approached their car, all in the same confusion, he looked into the salon and saw that behind the wheel was empty, but on the rear seat they were both sitting with interest looking at some magazine.
Comments under history was enough, both with the protection of the ladies of drivers, and with their complete reproach. But most of them thought it was still fiction and fiction. You can’t be so blonde. Maybe I haven’t seen it myself, but I’ve seen much better.

It all started with the fact that to the tractor attracted Toyota Corona, a five-door, diesel, with the offer to buy spare parts. I did not have such modifications of the car, so there were no spare parts needed. Without negotiating, the former horse thieves asked to leave the car, said, something had struck. The machine was clearly stolen.
- Leave it, drive it out there closer to the spots and let it stand. I am not responsible for the throne, but I will not be responsible for the security, I agreed.
The car stood for four months if not more. No one came after her and she slowly grew into the grass. But autumn came, late autumn and the tractor had mints. Four in a service car, too, by the way, that “Japanese.”
"You hear, we caught the hijacker here, so he explained to us that one of the cars was abandoned somewhere here.
Is it a Toyota Diesel? I hardly remembered her existence, so out there.
The mints hit the dried grass and took care of the rope, in the sense of what to drag. had to help. While they were forging there, it was dark and cold and I went into the tractor. After some time I saw in the window that the service car drove Toyota quite sharply to the track. One trouble, the trail from the tractor adjacent to the track in the form of a T-shaped crossroads. This is where they slowed down. The blow was heard in the tractor. I was interested to see what happened there. The first thing I saw was the dirty back of the servant and the same mouth of Toyote. Then there are four mentions.
What happened? I did not understand.
Nothing happened, we were all four in that car. - and showed to the office, explained the most thoughtful.
In this who? I still did not understand.
No one, again explained the thoughtful.
But why, how is it? I was looking for the truth.
Because it doesn’t work and it’s cold. - explained to me apparently the elderly, - and everyone in the heat wanted to go. In the darkness you will find out who is going where.

It is funny that when Sberbank celebrates its anniversary, it has its history since 1841, and when it is asked about the 1991 deposits, it turns out that it is a completely different bank.