bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №96968
 20.04.2014
Are you writing with Sasha?
Sijm: No, I was noted in the paperbook
Judy: mm
Is Facebook a Jewish social network? and #58370;

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96967
 20.04.2014
If you have “Yandex.Bar” installed on your computer, this is a good sign. So, it is easy to deal with you, you are a kind and decent person, and you will not miss the opportunity to take advantage of the unique offer you deserve to travel to Mars.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №96966
 20.04.2014
I work in a supermarket.
The Father in Black came to sanctify the puddle.
He picked up a plastic glass of water from the refrigerator and walked through the shopping hall with a brush, boiling with holy water "Rosinka" a god-pleasing commodity.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96965
 20.04.2014
DrS: In the BIOS of the population of Russia, the team is intentionally shattered "Ah, you are s*ka! I am a shit!"
This irrational team makes the Russians invincible.
The trigger that launches the team is a fatal insult or injustice.
When executing the command, the self-preservation program is blocked.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №96964
 20.04.2014
My husband and I drive by car to the Ekaterinsky garden.
I: They say gay people gather here, have you seen gay people here at least once?
At this moment from the side of the garden outside the transition right under the wheels because of the car pops out a guy, the husband brakes sharply, the guy slaps back, at the last moment we avoid a collision...
Husband: Well just now.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №96963
 20.04.2014
I wanted to share what I saw yesterday.
A small market crash in the morning at work. On the cardboard 0.5m x 0.5m thick black marker:
--------
Tagged redis
by 40 rubles. – 1 bpg
--------

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №96962
 20.04.2014
In view of the universe.
Gynecology: Do you have sex?
The girl: No
Q: Have you ever lived?
D: No
Q: How many full years?
D to 20
Do you live a sexual life?
D: No
Q: Have you ever lived?
Q: Do you hear badly?
You don’t want to confess – you don’t have to. The next!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96961
 20.04.2014
XXX: How do the cockroaches throw the caviar?
It explodes, of course.
ZZZ: as a grenade

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96960
 20.04.2014
This is:

xxx: I’m wondering how parents in the U.S. determine that a child called a daddy and didn’t see a corpse?

– – – – –

You would also ask how they distinguish a ship from a sheep. They speak differently. Likewise, dad and dead sound very different.

And if it doesn’t understand anyone, then this someone can listen to how the Germans speak in Russian. As one German woman told me, “You have a church – a cathedral, a fence around the house – a cathedral, a lock on the door – a cathedral, if the stomach hurts – also a cathedral! Very difficult Russian language..."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №96959
 20.04.2014
ARRMka: What is the ideal application? It’s like an app that has only one button – “do well”, but I went further. This button presses itself.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96958
 20.04.2014
Anarh1st47: I understood the essence of life
Anarh1st47: HalfLife
Anarh1st47: Half can be two

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №96957
 20.04.2014
to this:
===
There cannot be so many teachers in one school. Also, say that the worker c physician you also have men.
===
They are there from the army. The "Alternative Service" is called.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96956
 20.04.2014
From the Dating Site:
I am happy in life.
I am late

Stay in Pain.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №96955
 20.04.2014
On the day of p.
I confirm. I observed on the day of air defense the sudden throwing of a bottle of vodka from underneath the balcony into a bunch of pigeons with a scream "Flying, fuck!!!"... In other words, he actually got one. %)

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №96954
 20.04.2014
Comments on the latest Game of Thrones series (where Joffrey dies):

xxx: [spoiler] he is dead!!!!and spoiler
yyy->xxx: This spoiler will fit any series.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №96953
 20.04.2014
Statyan: Don’t put on the 8.1 screw
The service "Time Broker" has been launched.
Then I began to notice that weeks passed unnoticed.
It turns out that this creature is trading my time.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №96952
 20.04.2014
XXX: Fuck, Yandex now offers me books on occultism and the services of offspring witches))
XXX: She wrote a lecture on alchemy called...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №96951
 20.04.2014
General Drozd: I'll give you a squad and a task to score a 15 meter stick
Engineer Pagasyan: Hm, where does this task come from? The oil?
General Drozd: The landing.
Engineer Pagasyan: Well, grounding is not so interesting, millions do not smell
General Drozd : Yes? Lightning does not agree.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №96950
 20.04.2014
If the hands are golden, it is important to know where they grow from.

[ + 39 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №96949
 20.04.2014
Not a joke, but...

“As for the allegations about the use of Russian special forces in the events in Ukraine, I will say only one thing – it’s hard to find a black cat in a dark room, especially if it’s not there. Especially stupid if this cat is smart, courageous and polite.”
Russian Defense Minister S. Shoigu
The Beautiful!!! to

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