bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93847
 12.02.2014
But nobody was confused that in the live broadcast of the opening of the Olympics, the spectators saw the unopened snowflake for a couple of seconds, and then immediately went the record from the rehearsal, at which everything with these rings was OK. That is, they are prepared! Because they knew in advance!

You can also talk about server interruptors and dual system duplication in space ships. This is a conspiracy! A conspiracy of precautionary ones that are insured in advance.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93846
 12.02.2014
The case was so:
I live alone. Winter session, evening, tomorrow exam. I need to sleep. I turn off the cell phone, the home phone and the doorbell so that I don’t wake up, I go to bed.
I woke up with an incomprehensible sound. I try to understand what and where. The sound repeats. and again. and again. Strikes on the balcony. from outside.
Here is the picture: the winter, the hour of the night and in silence the deaf strikes outside on the glazed balcony on the fifth floor. The strokes are ten with a frequency of about two seconds, then about a minute pause and again strokes. was presented?

The puzzle was this: a friend overwhelmed the lady, and they urgently needed a place to stay overnight. Without getting to me by standard methods, he slipped onto the roof (there is a crack there), glued the snow on the roof and threw it into my balcony. According to him, I did not react to the single ones, and he began to glue them in bands and throw them, respectively, in rows.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93845
 12.02.2014
News from one news site:

As a result of the raid on the appearance of schoolchildren found “blue girl”, “haired boy” and “allipist students”. It is such formulations are present in the official document, the photo of which has become a real "hit" of social networks.

According to the document, the only hairy boy from the entire liceum is taught at 7th, students 5b, 6b, 8a and 9a look "alapisto", in 10a three girls are "lochma", and in 11b there is one "blue girl". What was meant by this definition is not specified.

HH: This is not news. When I was in school, there were hairy punks and alcoholic girls in my school too.)

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №93844
 12.02.2014
My cat once stumbled onto a sloth on the floor (the sloth itself in the wrong place never does - he is a decent young man) and decided to clean up. It is unpleasant for him to enter the water. What he did for this: unwrapped the toilet paper, ripped off the piece and carried it to the pit. There, he broke this paper into small pieces and covered the hole with them. The problem is solved - the legs are now dry and comfortable.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №93843
 12.02.2014
Some officials are trying to ban computer games, I was in the army there generally teaching to kill and give out combat weapons.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93842
 12.02.2014
Discussion of a photo of a bunch of loops on a short section of the road.
I wonder why do you need twelve houses in such a small area?
Braille marking for blind drivers.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93841
 12.02.2014
Message from Skype:

"...You can make video calls (and not only) from your tablet or smartphone simply and for free*..."

Note: a fee may be charged

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93840
 12.02.2014
Alexey, good day
And now, on the plasma portal, a hydrocylinder has failed.

Good day.
It sounds like a fantastic book.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №93839
 12.02.2014
Mitwell's answer to the accusations is that his dissertation (number two) is simply sperm:

Oleg Lvivich replied that no, he did not steal, but simply accidentally remembered the strangers. This is the peculiarity of my memory, Oleg Lvivich Mitwell said. I have read a lot of other people’s dissertations on the topic that interests me, and a lot has been left in my head. And from there it came on paper - in this order. What can I do?"

From the post of S. Parchomenko, "Echo of Moscow".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93838
 12.02.2014
The article on the mail entitled "The dismissed from the car car was called to collect the BMW" - is very encouraging.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №93837
 12.02.2014
Today in the subway. Two moderately subordinate characters of the proletarian kind:
Just like him, Lucy.
What kind of Luke?
Oh shit...
Of course, is it an obudsman?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93836
 12.02.2014

Alexander is
And why was there no joke about the fact that when the fifth ring was not opened, the rings were compressed and the organizers of the opening of the Olympics?

Evgeny
Maybe because they don’t joke about the dead.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №93835
 12.02.2014
Purchased Rahat Lukum Azovsky, and he in sugar powder (who bought. He knows).
I am a content manager. I cater to colleagues.
The director has important guests, a meeting. He passes and shows all the departments.
Open the box and dissolve the sugar powder.
Polina, you’re all in cocaine!! to
She (crying and screaming) - I am all in cocaine!! to

In this moment the director and other important people come in.
Deer – And this is our marketing department, go on...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93834
 11.02.2014
I am a cyberpunk! I fight the system.
Is it operational?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93833
 11.02.2014
I went to the store for a square, I saw nothing more useful, I stood at the box office. The saleswoman with such a smart look: - Do you prepare for 23?))))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №93832
 11.02.2014
A friend who recently returned from the army has a status on the social network:
Well, all, there is a diploma on the tower, there are rights, there is a soldier, there is a house, there is a job, there is a car. The final quest is to find a girl :( "

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №93831
 11.02.2014
w3bl0rd: A friend in status is "Sometimes I open the refrigerator and forget why I came". Everything would be nothing, but only he is a pathologist.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №93830
 11.02.2014
xxx: and the counters of his neighbors above who live on 9m, are on 8m, respectively.
xxx: and eventually the upper neighbors who have lived in China for 10 months
xxx for this mistake.
xxx: paying his huge bills
xxx: and he is their copies
xxx :D
It is...
What are you pleased with? Or are you jealous? In fact, a person steals not even from some unclear “state” there, or from some “company” that still lives, but from specific people, their neighbors, like him. What he stopped at this, it was still necessary to open the door, to sell furniture, equipment, to hand over the apartment to some housing applicants... ah what a young man, ah how fun, you go on... and then sit down, and write a angry post about the officials robbing Russia... thief... contrary.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93829
 11.02.2014
This is:
And with regard to “neyming,” I generally thought before your explanation that the author used this word for irony. Mole are called beautifully sounding foreign words, without thinking about the meaning, this very name deserves to be called in the same spirit - "neyming".
____
At least one healthy person! I greet you brother!)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №93828
 11.02.2014
Now at night in Kiev you can hear the screams "Call someone to self-defense of the Maidan, the militia attacked me!".

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna