bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №93807
 11.02.2014
Lunch, my 4 year old daughter.
Can I get out of the table?
Go out daughter.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №93806
 11.02.2014
Reflexes are a great thing. I spent the night with my parents, still without a car, early in the morning to work.
XHHH: Spersonya went out on a familiar since childhood stop, smoked - the bus is coming in. I think it was a beautiful new 24th, I haven't seen it before, I am happy to come in.
XHH: Reality only caught through two stops when the conductor approached:
1st Since the time of my previous trip on the bus, the trip has increased ten times and now costs 23 rubles.
2nd 048 is needed for work, and the 24th goes to the institute.
Three I graduated nine years ago.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №93805
 11.02.2014
I decided to test your theory about the cases in which they ask for a passport (I am 25, I look younger).
In order to experiment, I would only buy a bottle of champagne and chocolate.
However, the store suddenly remembered that home urgently needed toilet paper, baby flour, peach and sunflower oil, and go without everything necessary to the box of an adult family aunt is simply physically impossible, at some subconscious level!
In general, the theory has never been tested, but began to understand its essence and treat it with great respect.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93804
 11.02.2014
Today I came from work and saw a book from my wife, drawn from a friend:
Margaret the Queen. "The Rules of Full Strongness"
Another thing about losing weight. While chewing food, let me think, I polystate, just out of curiosity. Half books like reasonable thoughts on the topic of the ratio of height and weight, the number of calories, complex and simple carbohydrates, etc.
and on page. 117-118 I encountered (further quote):
------------
Table salt, unlike sea salt, consists of 99.9% sodium chloride, because as a result of lighting, all microelements are removed from it using chemicals and high temperature. Salt is dried in huge artificial stoves at temperatures exceeding 650 degrees. At such a huge temperature, salt molecules break, its structure changes, which, when further consumed, negatively affects the human body. Such salt, despite its external appeal, practically does not contain useful components, and it should be avoided when cooking dishes. Furthermore, to improve the appearance, the manufacturers of cooking salt add special substances to it that prevent salt from mixing with water during its storage.
------------
I could not read further.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93803
 11.02.2014
Salt is trouble.
A fork or knife fell - wait for guests
And the tea spilled so quickly the hands out of the ass!
It is offensive=(

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №93802
 11.02.2014
Damn, a week ago I took money and spent everything on loans and paying for the apartment. I’m sitting on bread and water :)
ууу: And today I took off my salary and, being an adult and serious person, I am not afraid of this word - a specialist in the analytics department, I bought a Nesquike.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №93801
 11.02.2014
My son, looking at the girl in the leggings going ahead: "Aunt forgot to wear the pants."" :)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №93800
 11.02.2014
Xxx is digging in the note, helping him.
Yyyy, you are just a wizard!
So I ended up programming!
Zzz: yyy, what did you do with the programmer?

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93799
 11.02.2014
The cry:
It is....
People!! The people!!! to
You know this proverb - "Do not spit in the well - it will be useful to drink the water itself." Surely you know! Why do you so carefully produce shit in your life?

Not one ring burned at the opening of the Olympics. The whole internet is filled with these messages. Is that all you could see at the two-hour opening? A brilliant light show, a ballet production, 40 thousand light medallions, a collection in telogreeks and more! And all that your intelligence had enough was the mistake of synchronizing the illumination of the Olympic rings? Are you really so poor?

Don’t go into the country you live in!!! You will die in your feces like yeast in alcohol!
This is the same thing....
The show is great, the producers are fine, but it's all - showcases, spacecrafts, a feast during the plague - people see it, understand it, so any little stuff blows up to the same cosmic size.
No show can abolish the stupid and dangerous laws stamped by the Duma over the past couple of years.
No show can cancel the introduction of social norms of consumption, the fall of the ruble and the rise of prices.
No show can cancel the stagnation of industry and the cessation of economic growth.
And if someone does not understand this by his youth or stupidity, continue to rejoice.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №93798
 11.02.2014
A rich pervert is a lovelace, a poor pervert is a sexual maniac.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93797
 11.02.2014
Near our entrance it is dark, and there are two kinds of smokers standing.
I thought that, as usual, the minors smoke cigarettes, I approach one and answer him a delicious backpack with the words:
Stop smoking, go home, or I’ll tell your mom.
A very small police colonel who lives in our entrance approaches me and says to his friend:
-Comrade General, go, or the mommy will struggle again.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №93796
 11.02.2014
The first record of the Sochi Olympics was set by the Russian Dmitry Medvedev. He fell asleep in the fourth minute of the opening ceremony.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №93795
 11.02.2014
xxx: theaters must attribute 3D to each poster
xxxx: and not shrink, and the people will

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №93794
 11.02.2014
From Hbar discussing self-destructive electronics:
A real breakthrough in consumption. Now all the electronics will kill themselves in some time after the end of the warranty period :)
I would not buy such.
I would buy it, only to find out later. Inspected by the NSA))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №93793
 11.02.2014
The basic law of oil business in Russia - if something has changed somewhere, then you need to raise the price of gasoline.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93792
 11.02.2014
The machine works with electrical equipment.

Do you work under stress?
M is UGU.
I: I will go, or I will fall asleep in ashes.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93791
 11.02.2014
The electricity store "Everything... to the lighthouse".

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93790
 11.02.2014
Call on the radio in the type of "translate hello-order a song" - "I would like to pass on a greeting to two of my clients, two Sergei and put for them the song of Moiseev and Trubach".

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93789
 11.02.2014
XXX: I decided not to go to the universe. I work and study programming. Eighty years old, I will be in Aachen.
OK, wait for the agenda. U.S. Military Commission
xxx: I have a heart defect, flat foot, I am not from Russia :(
Fuck you, combo You only have to be a grandmother.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93788
 11.02.2014
God created the world in 7 days, and you are going to write one unfortunate report for 2 weeks.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYY 6 days of development, 1 weekend and 4.5 billion. years of debugging.

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