bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №93867
 12.02.2014
I watched the movie The Curse Box in English. The first scene. Grandma wants to break the box with a hammer. The box, like every evil thing in Hollywood, begins to whisper and whisper. And then I hear from the box the evil “I will eat your heart... I will eat your heart...” In the purest Russian language. I drowned abruptly. I turn back, I turn on. “I eat your heart.” In the subtitles – “incomprehensible bullshit.”

No, I would have understood if the evil Russian spirit had invaded the Americans from the box and forced them to build communism. But by the story it turned out to be an ancient, evil, Jewish box! What kind of an ancient, evil, Jewish box burmochet in Russian?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93866
 12.02.2014
Kasper has just blocked "Yandex. News" as a harmful link. “Don’t read Soviet newspapers before lunch.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93865
 12.02.2014
Yulia
What is the difference between USB 2.0 and 3.0?

Gregory
4.3 The Blue

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93864
 12.02.2014
I knew I was laughing in my dreams. But today it turns out that I still speak quite clearly, sing songs and read poems. My husband told me.
I’ve never been so happy that I don’t have a terrible secret.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №93863
 12.02.2014

If you are strong, brave, agile, and very cecual... Go home... You are drunk.
K2

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №93862
 12.02.2014
Once we talked about books.
The Lord. Read Terry Pratchett - laugh and stop talking about these crazy rings. And so this Olympics in the bakery is sitting. I am a resident of Sochi.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №93861
 12.02.2014
"Put a classic", the son asked in the car.
"Which?" I asked, roaring in the discs.
"Rammstein"
by Lucky

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93860
 12.02.2014
Operational, as well as the resuscitation department, belongs to the first special category of power supply. Not only is this all fed from two independent entries, but also the obligation of the IPB is.
The light does not turn off there. Well, if, of course, someone just didn’t turn off the switch.
— — — —
You won’t believe it, but sometimes it turns off. Yes, extremely rarely, but there can be a situation that both feeds will be decommissioned, plus problems with the diesel auto-start. IBP is available only on the satanic machine of anesthesiologists, supporting the patient’s life on the table. Two times in the history of the hospital, our surgeons had to complete the operation in the light of the lights. By the way, both times ended successfully, patients were discharged on time without complications.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93859
 12.02.2014
I explained to my niece that he was not my son, but my nephew (sometimes my mother calls me), the response with tears in my eyes shattered:
"I am not a peelman! Do not cook me!and "

[ + 30 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93858
 12.02.2014
I wonder what do the countries think of whose ALL Olympic teams are made up of foreigners? What is the point of such countries participating in the Olympics?

Azerbaijan: 2 Russians, 1 Italian, 1 Austrian and 0 Azerbaijanis. What about them, the whole country (and the diaspora) did not find a single Azerbaijani who knows how to skate or ski?

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93857
 12.02.2014
Think about and "think" Here was the official, tomorrow he hired a tutor for his child, went shopping in the taste book, went to the doctor in a paid clinic, his wife made a manicure, tomorrow for the earned money the tutor will go to Ashan, the doctor will hire a master to put a tile, the manicure will call the sanitary, and the accountant from the taste book will buy furniture home, etc. The circulation of money in nature. And if they are not placed under the mattress and not removed, then they are spent - including on the services of firms that give us work and salary with you.
and...
Here and think: a government official swept, sent a child to study for a bulgor, took his wife for a manicure to Paris and went for a suit to Milan. Something I doubt that a French woman calls the sanitary from our JEC.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93856
 12.02.2014
Thealx: I moved to the local airport last summer. To his surprise, he found that Soviet-era electric cars (red machines for carrying luggage and small goods) were still in use. Most are indoor, but there are open - there are no cabins at all, a platform with a steering wheel and a seat.
It is a hot northern July day. Everyone tries to get stuck in a sunny or cool room. The cabriolet rushed through the territory, the driver took a blessing posture and put the haru in the face of the wind. Of course, life has succeeded.)
The winter is a cold January day (-36). In no one’s territory. Silently shaking, the miracle of engineering thought emerges. speed twice lower than in summer, frosts clearly do not spare such technology. behind the wheel something wrapped in a few watts with a small gap for the eyes. This is an extreme profession.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93855
 12.02.2014
HH: It is what?
It is a corpse!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
You are a fool, you are a fool!! to
Mimi, give me some more pictures.
Here is more if you want.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!! x_x

is offline

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93854
 12.02.2014
Today I watched curling for the first time) all was nervous, fucking you understand the rules

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №93853
 12.02.2014
St. Valentine hated lonely people and invented a whole holiday to look at them.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93852
 12.02.2014
It was the beginning of the nineties and we were happy.

My childhood was in the early 70s, and... you won’t believe it.)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №93851
 12.02.2014
Where is your cat now?? to
There was somewhere... and you why?
Please bring it urgently!! Please Please Please
O O O O O O
The girl on Skype will talk to me now!!! I have such an image for her. I put the books of the smart on the back and I want to hold the cat on my arms and glasses like Freeman.
WOW: and nothing that you see well, you have not read the books of Nihua and you have an allergy to cats? and :)
Tagged with: pofig
WOW: and suddenly from my puffy and lazy you will start crying and droplets on the monitor)))))
XHH: We’re talking about her creativity, she’s painting, I’ll say it’s me from the excess of feelings!

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №93850
 12.02.2014
The reporter at the exit from the cinema, after the premiere:
A few words about the movie please?
The spectator:
Is it rare to go on the telecast?
Yes of course!
This is a rare... kitsch.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №93849
 12.02.2014
My wife wrote: "It was still fun. I call the organization, I say so call it. I was told who I was and asked to wait. Well, I wait and hear in the background someone talking unclearly. Then they pick up the phone again and say, “You know, she says she’s gone. Can I give her something?"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №93848
 12.02.2014
xxx: behind the wall, in the neighboring office sex shop is opened from the first day
The competitors have been sent, stop!
XXX: That is good.
YYY: So to say, they bet

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna