bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №93367
 02.02.2014
Efrit: I was going to do the cleaning. You look around and think "And in principle it will come down". Then a cat comes into the room. He rides on the floor to be swallowed over his stomach. Then he comes down on his knees to kiss him. I look at it and realize that my floor is wildly dirty in fact.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93366
 02.02.2014
D: You are stupid!! to
Did you see yourself?! to
D is yes!
I – and how?! to
A: Such a cute girl.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №93365
 02.02.2014
(He) - You can imagine, I dreamed all night that I was seduced by Natasha Queen. And that’s despite the fact that she’s never been the subject of my sexual fantasies.

I’m embarrassed to ask, but who was the subject of your sexual fantasies?

It is a MacBook Pro.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93364
 02.02.2014
I work in a furniture store. All products have specific names, and in English. All shoe boots are called Eboot-1, Eboot-2 and so on in order. Today, the senior seller responded to a call from another store, asking whether we have a shoe box number 5. The customers listened to the following dialogue:
How much Eboot do you have? The Five? Oh, we have Eboot, but I don’t think it’s five. Now I’m running to the warehouse, to see how much Eboot is there.
She runs to the warehouse, then screams to the operator to whom she left the phone: Tan, tell them that we have Eboot six!!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №93363
 02.02.2014
I can't lose weight after the holidays (
xx: on one side the pop has grown (
xx: on the other hand, the breasts)))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93362
 02.02.2014
Vladimir, he is the graveyard owner of a funeral agency. And it seems that this is the case when the profession of man not only found, but caught and found three more times in a perverted form.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93361
 02.02.2014
Misha, was she beautiful at all?

YYY: I have been

[ + 38 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93360
 02.02.2014
I want you not to multiply.

I hope your kids do better than your answers. Something was over, thank you.

____________________________________________________________________

What are you talking about, duo? Their own stupidity?
Here are two examples:
1.You do not have to come here. It’s a word, it’s written badly.
In this small room there is absolutely nothing to hide. This is a particle "no" with pretext and place name. by Separate.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №93359
 02.02.2014
I am ashamed to take pictures on the street...what do I do?
yyy: Get rid of this complex by getting used to popular masturbation. It helped. More than that, I don’t take the camera in my hands.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93358
 02.02.2014
Humming is the only privilege of a slave that he enjoys fully.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №93357
 02.02.2014
I have a friend who works as a secretary in a lawyer’s office.
The victim tells.
“A neighbor from below called on my door at about two o’clock at night. I opened it. He had a bottle of cognac in his hand, and he said he wanted to get to know me closer, because he couldn’t sleep. I received it positively because I moved to this house recently, about a month ago. I think I was lucky with the neighbors. He ran and reduced the sound in the columns to get to know humanly.
He asked to cut the lemon and bring the cocktails under the cognac. While I was cooking everything in the kitchen, I heard a whisper in the room. I didn’t give it any importance... in vain!
When I came into the room, he asked me to connect my headphones to the TV and then sat me on the couch.
Then something incomprehensible began. I saw only my columns, big garbage bags and scotch. And then I remember that horrible music... for many, many hours.

The Explanation. The neighbor, who was shaken for a month from the overnight "white roses, white roses...", simply took three packages for street garbage, in two of them infused columns, and the third sprinkled on the neighbor's head, leaving his nose and mouth to maintain vitality, and fixed this structure hermetically with a scotch. Then he turned on his favorite album "Love May" and sat down to watch a movie in his headphones. He watched the movie for a long time. The movie is four, maybe five. And the client listened to everything and listened to his favorite music on the auto reverse, and at his usual volume.

PS from the victim: He didn’t give me to sleep at six. Every 10 minutes he kicked me in the side, and, lifting up his earrings, said that this drink for the May, God give them health and prosperity!
Do you know? I am now N-E-N-A-V-I-J-U!!! Let them die with their white roses!! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №93356
 02.02.2014
A cell phone battery... and that’s all. There was a man, and there was no man.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №93355
 02.02.2014
What a diploma! I will release this haircut with a certificate that he has been trained! He did not give him a diploma.
WOW: The deputy director said that this year will be released with the dipoms of all! Everyone will surrender.
Q: Will he write his own diplomas for idiots? Will the gentlemen give up themselves?
yyy: probably... this year just not to write the certificates... there is a standard on these certificates something new... and the deputy does not know what exactly... and the certificates we now no one can do... so I said, this year everyone will be given diplomas... accept!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №93354
 02.02.2014
Cut your hair, you look like a cowboy.
I believe that the appearance should reflect the inner essence.
Cut your hair, maybe it will work.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №93353
 02.02.2014
Autumapostman: watch the Disney TV channel. The Devil’s Daughter 2!! O-0
Mexx:)))))) the daughter of Santa! You to the doctor

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93352
 02.02.2014
My mother gave me:
Comrades, behave well! You are cats!

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93351
 02.02.2014
When I dropped, instead of cigarettes, I ate iris... happ really dreams that I smoke, am I the only one?

Many are dreaming. I still dream that I smoked, although more than 5 years have passed. I smoke and feel guilty, blin, why do I do this, smoke again!! Shock and horror in dreams and regrets. Six months ago I stopped eating meat (except fish) and dreamed a couple of times that I ate meat and the same feelings, guilt and regret)

When I was on a diet, I watched interesting dreams at night about eating cakes, chocolate and bread with fat - all this in detail, with taste and smell, but without shame and regret. I knew it was a dream. I woke up completely satisfied. This is what I understand, help from the subconscious.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №93350
 02.02.2014
Olga
Hi to

Sergey
Hi to

Olga
Would you say, what is there in this myth of myth? Bce ppoixdoit not cluchaine.And we vcpechaeam tex people, who ppoix ought to be vcpechate? And we have come together in order to bring something and what to teach one another?

Sergey
I take revenge in the name of the moon.
No is

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №93349
 02.02.2014
I don’t want to go to universe tomorrow.
Isn’t it Sunday tomorrow?
o o o o o
precisely
My wish is fulfilled :D

[ + 18 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №93348
 02.02.2014
In comments to the news "In the Congo street traffic management commissioned robot":
xxx: I am even afraid to imagine the price of such a Russian robot developed in Skolkovo
yyy: only six additional zeroes
zzz: but our robot will have a hole to accept bribery

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna