bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №91767
 28.12.2013
I remember, I was a little boy, at the beginning of the winter, I blinded from the snow not a grandmother, but a manly gun. Everything is as it should be: wheels, a conical stem of six-inch caliber, a small brustover along the perimeter. Dolly looked at me from the kitchen window.

In the first meltdown, the wheels turned into unclear bits, and the trunk "sleep". The construction lasted until spring. I was proud that the passers approved. And then it turned out that a rare padonag blinded under the windows a half-meter hernia for the winter.

All with the enthusiasts, and be more creative in the holiday!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №91766
 28.12.2013
The flowers also have flowers. I will never forget. At school, in the lesson of botanics wrote independently on the structure of the flower. No one in the class could remember that word. I thought it had something to do with pigs. I signed a crush. He was awarded five for inventiveness.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №91765
 28.12.2013
Is there coffee?
Is it worth cooking?
- It is shit and the Ministry of Education, and coffee is ON!
- Fuck, Andrew, you try first, then break it up!
Fuck, it really is.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91764
 28.12.2013
Anatoly Wassermann mines bitcoins in the mind!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №91763
 28.12.2013
XXX: Who are you working for?
yyy: Analysis and Planning Manager.
XX: What are you doing at work?
Analysis is planned...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №91762
 28.12.2013
Something has changed in Legoland. It feels like in the “Hobbit” Bruce Willis plays him.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91761
 28.12.2013
Growing up is when you realize that sleep is better than sex.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №91760
 28.12.2013
Humans also appeared before dinosaurs, and what?
T is up?
Well, or vice versa, I’m not very strong in human history.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №91759
 28.12.2013
xxx: I can't help but share the impressions of the anniversary at work))))) more than 80 years old, she got drunk, danced, sang, hugged the doctor, who is 64 years old, and then she got sick in the toilet and she - attention!!! I have lost my chest! Now she took her home, drunk and shamelessly) and absolutely happy. These are people! )

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №91758
 28.12.2013
Congratulations to all Android users for the year 2014. Users of iOS - c year 2013S.

[ + 108 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91757
 28.12.2013
2nd A loving cat? He doesn’t care about you – he just needs you as a source of food and a warm home. So keep going "earn for your cat", slave.

My wife is allergic to cats. Echo is strong.
Keeping a cat at home without options.
We live in a private sector, we have a private home. A neighbor died. Her cat was thrown out of the house. The cat walked around the street, so we started feeding her. When winter came, she lived on the roof.
This year we overcovered the roof and the slope through which the cat stumbled into the roof became inaccessible. We had second shades, old and unused. They insulated them, spent there heating and settled the cat there. Make her a bedside with a view of the street. They installed a magnetic door so that it could go out freely. We feed her regularly. And what then? We need to go out, she immediately rushes. We leave, she accompanies us to the end of the street. When we are at home, she sits in a shovel in front of the window and cries at us.
I have always considered cats to be independent and free animals. But now next to me is an example of an animal who is very lonely.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №91756
 28.12.2013
There are offices of several companies in the building. A dialogue heard in one of the offices.
1st Listen, why is this Pashka from "***" to us?
2nd He asked me to make a quick hole. They say that work is little and money is good. Before the New Year, money will not bother.
1st Do you know him for a long time?
2nd Week two. and what?
1st In his previous work, he had a name: Pashka Hemorrhoids. Does not give any thoughts?
2nd In vain they are so. The guy is explanatory. He says good things.
1st Well, if the clear and practical things say, then yes. Good luck to you.

[ + 37 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91755
 28.12.2013
Husband, unfortunately, oil trader - without drops in the nose can not, especially at night.
During cleaning, I always throw out a few empty bottles under the bed.
Here and now - I lay under the bed and comment on the way "Golden Fish":

It was the first time that she swallowed...
I came with one dust.
The other time I swallowed -
He came with a dozen bottles.
It was the third time that she swallowed -
Arrived with... bottles from under the minerals? What other news is this?

The bottles have grown.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №91754
 28.12.2013
From the dating questionnaire:
About myself: I love my job, play a counter strike, play sports, shake a lot, love good tea and fruit, and also walk in the frost.

Hm... honestly))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91753
 28.12.2013
Mediis: I slipped. I fell. I woke up. the press =)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №91752
 28.12.2013
NASA has released 17,000 photos of the Apollo program ""

Poor Nasov photographers
JJJ: 17,000 photos from the year 68 is about 1 photo a day, not so much to buy. and :)
Kkk: Only this is the problem, in the 68th there was no photoshop yet...)
zzz: Now you understand why you post it just now)

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №91751
 28.12.2013
XXX: The deer is sitting right now, giving us the New Year’s Prize. This is the best sales manager. He’s such an elephant, I’d like to work with you for a few months! What salary do you get... and in your place you would put a woman out! (He is at his first stage)

xxx: a lump, modestly tapping the eyes - a roman Sergeevich, so you will soon succeed! I found out that I am pregnant, I am leaving in the decree in 2014, I didn't know how to tell you about it.

xxx: you should have seen the "glowing of happiness" face of the director))) dreams come true))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №91750
 28.12.2013
The answer to the question is which antivirus is better? Hollywood always succeeds.

Mother TM®© Antivirus Mama®© checks every 30 minutes if the user is not sitting on a porn site, every 15 calls to eat, every 10 minutes asks for computer maintenance, every 5 minutes monitors the user's correspondence, comments, shares life experiences and corrects errors. The attention! If you purchase antivirus version of Mama TM®© before December 31, you will receive a bonus – an additional feature that finishes your computer at 22:00 with the words “Morning Evening Wiser!”

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №91749
 28.12.2013
Where did you see such an astonishing degree of cat’s arrogance? I open the refrigerator and look for something delicious. The cat, quietly lying on the window, importantly rises up and goes to the refrigerator, walking over my head, like a staircase! The cat service, shit.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №91748
 28.12.2013
Yesterday for the first time I tried the strapon with my wife.
The accountant says today:
“Nikola, you have such a mysterious look, what happened?
What will I answer her?
But now I understand why women sometimes look mysterious.

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