bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90767
 08.12.2013
About interesting names. I personally know a good girl named Angelika Algerievna. Prior to marriage, she had the name Dante. His name was Dante Alighieri.
Not a joke! The Outlook mailbook still shows this name to everyone, although it has long since resigned from us.
Angelica, if you read, hello from Diamond! And with NG!

[ + 34 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90766
 08.12.2013
About the "at least one developed Russian microprocessor".
I would just remind you that it was in our country that discoveries were made, which (among many others, of course) formed the basis of almost everything modern IT. This is a quantum generator created by Bas and Prokhorov. This is a low threshold, continuously operating at room temperature semiconductor laser, which was made possible thanks to the research of Jores Alferov. Thanks to them - created semiconductor amplifiers of signals of the gigahertz range, without which it would be difficult to imagine the current mobile communication. This is a large number of theoretical and experimental research, without which it would be impossible to create modern microelectronics. It is space. In general, the contribution of our scientists was quite noticeable.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №90765
 08.12.2013
How did he get you?
Oh, that is fate! My girlfriend gave birth to four cats.
I once visited her, wanted to make breakfast and dropped an egg on the floor.
Wiping out the sludge, so I put all the cats in a bite, and brought them to the kitchen. I said, whoever eats the egg, I will take it. Three walk, the mouths turn, and this one immediately understood everything and clearly got up.
I immediately realized that we will work.
Five years together, soul in soul, you have no scratches, no hips.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90764
 07.12.2013
A good router is when you forget your password from the admin panel because you don’t have to go there for years.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №90763
 07.12.2013
A girl in bed.
<You are such a pleasant smooth cool straight as a silk>
I thought I't survive

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №90762
 07.12.2013
With the little one went to take the tests, went to the office himself. “Mom, I have been defiled! Why did you bring me here?! to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №90761
 07.12.2013
Every odmin knows that every kitten under the nose has a small but very effective meat crusher.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №90760
 07.12.2013
I thought it was possible only in anecdotes. and no!

First the story: recently moved to us neighbors - parents and three children. The oldest is about fourteen years old.
And they gave him a tablet - the most fuzzy, with a bunch of lotions-adaptations... And among other things, the seemingly harmless function of face recognition appeared.

I meet today on the day of this little one - he is hysterical and asks if I have any acquaintances who understand tablets.
It turned out that the yuan genius found this function and instead of a rod showed the tablet a cock. Technique did not withstand such infringement and blocked the function of password change in general.
Now the proud frightener will recognize his master not by mouth, but exclusively by dignity. It is :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90759
 07.12.2013
About the letters "S as a dollar" and "H as hydrogen" I remembered the pearl heard in a short-wave amateur air.
For those who don’t know, there’s a very simple solution to the problem of “escac-dollars” – there are standard letters – Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta... or in Russian Anna, Boris, Center, Dmitry... everything seems understandable, except for a few letters, the correspondence of which in the Russian and Latin alphabets is strange (the root of this correspondence is in the Morse alphabet). These are the letters X ("Sign" -- is meant to be soft or hard) and V ("Juck"). Newcomers are often confused.
Here is the following dialogue.

Correspondent 1 calls his calling, say, RZ3V**, it sounds like "Radio Zinaida's triple bush... and so on".
Correspondent 2 asks: "Juck – what is it?".
This sounds like a wonderful answer:
This bird is like that!


[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90758
 07.12.2013
X-Men will send Terminator on TV

The 2565th series, Terminator again unsuccessfully tried to kill Sarah Connor. The clever woman died of old age in the 1589 series, but the program, laid in the electronic heart, could not accept the loss.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №90757
 07.12.2013
From the dating site:

The life goals:
Staying a Man

Area of activity:
trade


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №90756
 07.12.2013
The mega-idea - let the torch to Snowden.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90755
 07.12.2013
In such a movie theater I would go, where in the movie theater beds instead of chairs, with lamps and pillows.
First comment:"and on the back rows do not kiss, but fuck".

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90754
 07.12.2013
to this
I am looking for a girlfriend!! I promise, on the first wedding night, to gather the server and put Gentoo...
___________________________________
You will die out like dinosaurs.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90753
 07.12.2013
> although it may not be the cradle of the device, but simply the police officers are arranged like ringworms and they have no brain.

I don’t know who doesn’t have a brain.
If we are talking about knotworms, then they have a suprarthal ganglion, an approximate analogue of the brain.
Remember this when you dig rain worms for fishing.

The Milizer.


[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90752
 07.12.2013
xxx: And Olga Gregg, out of her masterpiece in the photo - "Magi in the service of the Red Empire and the Black Reich".
xxx: Or here is her book, The True Fate of Admiral Kolchak, with an annotation:
Contrary to common belief, the Supreme Ruler of Russia, Admiral Kolchak, did not finish his life journey in the winter of 1920 at the banks of the Angara River, but continued to serve Soviet Russia for many years and personally Comrade Stalin.

No one is printing my fanfics :(

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90751
 07.12.2013
She told me why she broke up with her ex. (Orthography and puncture are preserved)
I asked him to buy the coolest cell phone.
I bought an iPhone that didn’t even have a TV.
Zombiracer: here is the slug... :)
WOW: And everyone else is starting to stand up for him!!! Do you have a girlfriend???? to
Zombie is there!

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №90750
 07.12.2013
X: Will you go to the class?
yyy: unit of frequency measurement
Xxx :?? to
YYY: Hz
YYY: What about you?
XX: Hydride of sodium
YYYYYYYYYYYYY?
XXX: NaH

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90749
 07.12.2013
That my son has grown up, I only noticed yesterday when a Chinese housewife stunned him as a cook for harassment.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №90748
 07.12.2013
And my five copies in history with army surnames.

We had, long before a famous lady, the flag of Nabiullin. He was called Naebulin.
There was also the ugly underground of Blednov, which, after some events, began to magnify.
The fucking.
And a fresh lieutenant Semivolos, to whom the nickname Semihui was immediately attached, which characterized him very accurately.
There were others.
And, by the way, the nicknames were glued so tightly that the composer used them repeatedly at random at common divorces, buildings and gatherings.

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