bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88447
 17.10.2013
Recently, I noticed that at the end of the lecture the loudest of all shouted "thank you" those students, who all the couple was lying fucking on the table, didn't do the nicotine and waited for when, finally, this shit would end.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88446
 17.10.2013
XXX is
By the way, you remember the corner of bombs where pipes and garages. Leha has a hard drive of 160 gigs and a book on architecture.

YYYY
Normally
It is wine
It’s almost like Elder Scrolls. Stole and spare in the camp of bombers various useful things
We could have fought for treasures.
Per there was an artefact in the log.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №88445
 17.10.2013
From positive reviews about the store "CityLink":

I bought a flash
One day I got a salary and decided to upgrade the computer. He went to Sitylink, bought a flash for 130 rubles and happily moved home. After reading negative reviews and being in anxious agitation, shaking hands, shedding cold sweat, flashed the flash on the computer, clamped his eyes and counted to 10. I open up the gas and... oh miracle! A working flash! All, waiting for the next salary, I buy a mouse for 200 rubles.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88444
 17.10.2013
At the Android app competition held in Kazan, the first place was taken by the app "Heat rays", which turns the smartphone into a heater.

Buy 2 iPhones for 75 thousand and instead of boots.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88443
 17.10.2013
XXX is
Here again
Website for 2 weeks.
calmly
Measured
Hyacinth
Deadline
More done in 3 hours than in the rest of the time.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88442
 17.10.2013
I travel around Europe by train and bus. Over the head is a red button with a cup of coffee. I pressed. A nice guide immediately brings cappuccino.
He went to the hospital. There is a red button next to the bed. I pressed. A nice nurse brings a cup of coffee.
In a year I will be flying home to Luffy. The red button again. A nice stewardess brings a coffee.
Mercedes bus from Domodedovo. A red button with a cup of coffee.
Whom do you fuck? Hasn’t you cracked for a long time?
and blue! at home!

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88441
 17.10.2013
A grandmother sitting in a crowded tram, riding her grandmother's affairs quietly under her nose, was outraged:
“When will you all rest? As well as in the war, all the trains were empty.”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №88440
 17.10.2013
Why don’t I use an umbrella?
Rain is divided into two types:
Too weak to hide under an umbrella.
Too strong to hide under an umbrella.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №88439
 17.10.2013
Blind everyone with your manicure, because the extract of palladium will make the nails literally sparkle with a voluminous glow.
Read loudly the description of nail lacquer from the catalogue of cosmetics, the dinner husband almost drowned...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88438
 17.10.2013
On the radio in the car by the edge of the ear he heard a fragment of the dictator’s speech: “Minfin will relentlessly fight...”. I did not find further.

At home, it was only necessary to enter the phrase "Minfin declared war" in the search engine "Yandex", as the computer immediately servicefully threw out a dozen articles with different dates, which start with the words: "Minfin declared war on financial pyramids", "Minfin declared a tax war", "Minfin declared war on offshore", "Minfin declared war on cash", "Minfin offers to plant"... The complete impression that the most peaceful ministry in the world declared war on the whole country and its people.

But if the search engine asks "Minfin won" the computer after a little thought out suddenly issues the same calls for wars and landings.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88437
 17.10.2013
Adequacy is the ability to silence unnecessary words in time.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №88436
 17.10.2013
Bank manager to client:
- I explain to you once again, we are a bank, our money, so we give loans exclusively on our terms. The owner, so to speak, barin.
The client thought:
and well. Then I want to put money on a deposit. I’m just wondering if you’ll start rubbing me about the conditions now. Money is mine.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №88435
 17.10.2013
“I have two children and I don’t care what they see on the screen.

I also have two children. Today is (i.e. Yesterday) I went with them to the bookstore, where on the shelves were books about murderers, drug addicts, prostitutes, weapons and so on. We passed by the department with magazines, where on the vitrine were coverings with half-naked aunts and shitty headlines. On the street we encountered a drunk mother-mother herd of human-like beings. During the day, the TV was turned on, where on the NTV channel showed a show about how the lover "wiped" the mistress of his husband's mistress for 50k rubles. On another channel showed a movie where there were many bodies and beating women. On the "First" channel showed some series about the war, where many smoked, drank alcohol, killed a girl, and the second had sex with a fascist, then tied him to a chair and tested the password from something. In the meantime, I saw advertisements for condoms and beer. Hm What am I? Oh yeah yes. You need to control the internet, otherwise children will learn badly there.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №88434
 17.10.2013
Who will explain why Zeinalov in Kolomna is planted in one helicopter and pulled from another in Moscow? Even the stripes on the boats are different. Something went wrong?
ууу: The transplant was from the ring to the замоскворецкую line.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №88433
 17.10.2013
A friend (D) delivered a hi-end audio system.
D: After two hours of setting it turned out that we were trying to listen to jpg

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88432
 17.10.2013
Listen, why do Skype messages not always arrive immediately?
Yyy: The NSA does not have time to read. xd

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88431
 17.10.2013
The insider is five.

Something stopped me checking the registration. The papers are in stock! Get in the car, let’s go and check. I can’t, I’m in a hurry to work. Is there a work permit? I’m a student... I’m working... I’m working. There are three stops. Why on foot? I am saving. Sit down before we get to work.
and thrown!
It was not in Russia.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88430
 17.10.2013
This is:

Girl, let you care about the earth, but think, maybe the homeland is a family? Dad, mom, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, in the future your children, grandchildren, husband?
In the event of war (I really want it not to happen), I will go to protect my family first.
= = = = = = = = =
In which war?
Gays from Europe will come to Russia to force your family to same-sex marriages? Will Americans come to take your family’s oil company?
Against your family is already going to war - they are forbidden to say the wrong thing, watch the unauthorized, take the pension, introduce payments for light, water and heat, raise the excise duty on fuel, pressure on your employer, stamp laws, each other crazy.
Go and defend, my hero.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88429
 17.10.2013
I’ve been trying my whole life to understand why everything in it is so uncertain, unspeakable and vague. And then I wake up at three o’clock at night with the thought: "42!!My apartment number is 42".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №88428
 17.10.2013
Instead of being cold, like all normal people, on the road a hundred or another, I come sober,
I go into a hot bath and pull myself, am I a perverse?? to
A vodka bath? Of course a pervert!! to

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