bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95127
 11.03.2014
xxx: In 2007 he rested in Abkhazia, in 2008 it was pressed away from Georgia, in 2012 he rested in Crimea... until he was nowhere (but in Finland). Ready to go anywhere in the world ?

YYY: I suggest forums to go down, and send it to Pendoxia!

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95126
 11.03.2014
In fact, people with disabilities are those who do not know how to fold two and two in mind, and can not take off their ass from the chair, which is overwhelming. And at the Paralympics, there are people with unusual capabilities.

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №95125
 11.03.2014
The granddaughter of the writer, Valentina Katayev, told how her girlfriend at school was asked to write a piece about what Katayev invested in the image of Vany from the novel "Son of the Regiment". A friend came to Katayev in visit and asked about this the writer himself, taking his words as the basis of his work. As a result, for the composition, she received a three with a minus with a comment that Katayev thought about something completely different.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №95124
 11.03.2014
Ukraine joined the EU. Two cousins sit and drink.
One of them asks, “Wow?
The second replies: “Yes, I’m unemployed, my wife washes the floor in Italy, my son marries a German, my daughter is a prostitute in France!!!” It’s all Moscow’s fault!! They told us, “Don’t join the EU, don’t join the EU!!!” They knew what we had done!!! to

[ + 18 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95123
 11.03.2014
Here are the double standards.

Don't let God disturb the neighbor's child's sleep - the whole family will rush to take the door and avenge you for it.

And when this child wakes people up with cries and whispers, it is all a puddle. They just shrink and shrink.

Sleep is a biological need. Live yourself and do not disturb others.

Less aggression, more respect!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №95122
 11.03.2014
I came to a new job, mostly sitting at computers and performing tasks. Some for relaxation include loud music. I decided to do the same, included my playlist, and there the main theme from Half Life first in the line... Immediately a couple of colleagues wrapped their heads, in search of sound, smiled. You see it right away :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №95121
 11.03.2014
Amazing people, first to the ears and then start to swallow their dirty underwear and scream loudly: "Damn...damn..."
Do they want to sell or do they want to sell?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №95120
 11.03.2014
[3/10/2014 5:55:31 PM] 5665tm: Yes, fate, very fucking romantic. Only with my luck, she will either be born in 3048, or died during the palace coups, or lives in our time, but she has completely paralyzed her upper third thighs as a result of an accident on the Alpha Centauri.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №95119
 11.03.2014
Russian people can easily defeat laziness, but they are somewhat reluctant.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95118
 11.03.2014
Here one cheerful aunt told how she grew a lemon from a boiled and frozen grain. I even have a fist.

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95117
 11.03.2014
>> Had I not been married, I would never have learned that a compressed air bubble effectively cleans... the haircut.

Your mother is genius!! to


[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №95116
 11.03.2014
A friend once got sick with hepatitis B.
The hospital is large, there are many buildings, they said they are not allowed to enter the infection room, so I asked where the building, the chamber number already knew. I approach him and begin to scream: “Vityoyoyeok! "Vityoyeok! "The chamber on the 3rd floor so it broke out that there is urine for ten minutes. Only from the neighboring windows of the head female a couple of times elevated."Well" I think "not fate", may the toilet went out or smoke..., in general departed from the building by 50 meters in the direction of the house, goes our common acquaintance with the girl to meet. "Oh, hello, what are you doing here?", "Well, Vitka came to visit, something oral, oral, he never appeared. This is my home ? ?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95115
 11.03.2014
- Mucky Klitschko was roasted, now added eggs... What will they cook?
Cake with shit.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №95114
 11.03.2014
xxx you are! The sport is chocolate. I thought he was extinct.
yyy: It’s like a lease with the taste of potatoes.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95113
 11.03.2014
from ZH:
I want to change my name in Ukraine. I will glorify Ukraine.
I will be able to walk around Kiev and troll the fascist patrol.
They ask:
How are they called?
Glory to Ukraine.
Glory to the heroes! How are they called?
Glory to Ukraine.
Euromaidan, to the heroes of glory. How are they called?
Glory to Ukraine.

And so infinite.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №95112
 11.03.2014
From the comics website, discuss Thailand:

xxx: If I understand it correctly, are these men who feel like lesbians?
Thailand is a country of mysteries.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №95111
 10.03.2014
With "response to"

A: It hurts me not to want it, there is a lot of pressure on what I say who wants to turn away.

A: The effects of mushrooms can be irreversible.

[ + 25 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95110
 10.03.2014
"In working with metal there is one big plus - if something is cut off, you can always get it back".

(C) "American Chopper"

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №95109
 10.03.2014
In the eighties of the twentieth century, the owner of the legendary voice, which the inhabitants of the Soviet Union considered a symbol of TV radio news, Yuri Borisovich Levitan, like all the dictors, worked in the Ostankino Television Center.

Since nothing human was alien to the inhabitants of the Ostankine TV Tower, they all gathered in the dining room at lunchtime.

In a large room could accommodate about three hundred people. While some TV producers dined, others stood in line for the standard comprehensive lunches. They gave the first, second and compot. Behind the portion of the food in the vicinity stood and ordinary workers of the TV studio and folk artists and laureates and even living legends. Here at lunch came the elderly Yuri Borisovich Levitan.

Comrade Levitan changed only externally, his recognizable voice was still strong and sound.

Once Yuri Borisovich took a portion of soup at the stand and sat down at the table. There was a lot of noise in the room, the TV producers exchanged news, shared impressions, discussed achievements, and suddenly for some reason everyone suddenly silenced.

Then the silence was broken by the loud and clear voice of Levitan. Yuri Borisovich spoke only one phrase, but as always - in the style of "From the Soviet Information Bureau".

Today it is... shit!


[ + 25 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №95108
 10.03.2014
What was the name of the hobbit from the "Lord of the Rings"? (10 to 100)
_______________________
Which of them? They are like dogs not cut. You would ask how the orcs are called.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna