bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84607
 24.07.2013
During the “Liberation of Minsk” campaign, the parents of the 12-year-old Koli launched an extraordinary “Liberation from the computer” campaign for him.
From 6 July 10.00 (MSK) to 12 July 9.30 (MSK) Kolu expects:
3 times the number of books to read;
Increase of 30% in work;
Increased work at home by 60%.
And also an additional blow to the belt for receiving medals "Lentya" and "Asked for the computer".

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84606
 24.07.2013
I bought a whole pack of Nestle milk candy. Opened before sleeping. It is harmful to eat at night, but let, I think, we eat one, I will try. I roll out the fantasy, and there on the turn all sorts of scrolls are written, and the first thing that comes to the eye "Do not postpone for tomorrow, is that you can break today". Fuck, I did not stand. I had to follow the advice :)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №84605
 24.07.2013
Russian film director Nikita Mikhalkov opposed the legalization of same-sex marriages. According to the Russian newspaper, according to the director, homosexual relations have a bad effect on cinema.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
So let him stop his homosexual relationships, and there, you see, the cinema is better for him, right?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №84604
 24.07.2013
From the correspondence with the service:
Appeal: Problem with IE dependency
Solution: Established Chromium

by Zy. I am crying ?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №84603
 24.07.2013
Alex Kuritsyn >
I recently came to a dental clinic, and there repairs are being done in the corridor. In the elevator with me comes a Tajik with a cuvalda. I would like to ask "Are you a surgeon?"

Weather >
He said he was an anesthesiologist.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84602
 24.07.2013
truthfulness
— — —
to this.
In the cinema, in the middle of the film, everything is great, but the edge of the eye stuck to the "going head on the screen from the viewer." And then I start moving from the first thought – “Bla, again a pirate.”

cinemas are built so that sitting in the hall, it is impossible to close a part of the projector beam with the head. The only place where this is theoretically possible is the last line, but for this you need to be either abnormally tall or with an aspiration. If the head appears on the screen, it should be the size of an apple or less. I would like to see such a man.
And to you, my friend, I will say one thing, stop the shit!
and----
Did you not think that the head can close a part of the image on the screen for another viewer? And that in the darkness of the hall the head looks like a black silhouette against the background of a brightly illuminated screen. By the way, how do you think these heads and other body parts appear on screens?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №84601
 24.07.2013
xxx: what to say, here I look at the blood test, and there is, among other things, aspartate aminotransferase))) what is it?)
YYY: Is there an internet? Here and see.
xxx: endogenous enzyme from the transferase group, subgroup of aminotransferases (transaminases)
XXX: Yes, now everything is in its place.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84600
 24.07.2013
Neuro4ka: An indicative phrase from the series "Siberia":
Danny... Danny... He’s a crazy guy. Burn the fire with your glasses. The genius! None of us even thought about it. He deserved my respect from that moment on.
Skyld: They haven’t seen the fireworks yet, ohh))
Skyld: You would have flattered.)

[ + 37 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84599
 24.07.2013
I saw several photos of the monitor with the "Blue Screen of Death". I think, these are fools! Screen photographs, screenshots not taught them to use!
And then it comes to me that the fools are not...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №84598
 24.07.2013
A friend told me about his cat. I saw the cat in the garden of the strawberries, immediately in the hunting stand, ears pressed, himself crawls to them quietly. Serious, not distracted by anything. Lashes crossed through this case and sent an assault squad of five birds) and they began to guess that he was like a kangaroo, jumping through several rows at once. It’s called Hunting :)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №84597
 24.07.2013
Parents talk about nature:
No, nature is not for me.
Father: Oh, butterflies and couch, this is our element!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №84596
 24.07.2013
From the forum, the topic of gender discrimination

Zzz: In addition, girls can’t do a lot. I loved to beat boys, and I was told I couldn’t. And not because people are not good to beat, but because you are a girl. and :(

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №84595
 24.07.2013
to this:
_____
DoubleDJ: When I was a kid and my peers came in the morning with the saddles on my knees, I felt sympathy. And now - a clever look and a happy smile))) If you understand what I am talking about)))
_____
Of course I understand. When you post jokes from the KVN, just point out the source!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №84594
 24.07.2013
The news:
Homosexuality prevents Mikhalkov from making good movies
Russian film director Nikita Mikhalkov opposed the legalization of same-sex marriages. According to the Russian newspaper, according to the director, homosexual relations have a bad effect on cinema.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84593
 24.07.2013
"Nutrient cream-soap of strawberries with cream".
The word "soap" ruins everything.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №84592
 24.07.2013
Irene, engineer is not a profession, but a lifestyle!
WOW: What happened?
XHH: Mining floating stove.
XH: Melt metal up to 1000 C.
I go in and see an engineer cooking soup in it.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №84591
 24.07.2013
Sirion is boahaha! Comrades, you will not believe.
Sirion: I wrote an extension that automatically loads up the following Google search results when the page scrolls down. And of course I tested. I sent a lot of requests. and... drumming... fanfares...
Sirion: I was fooled in Google! O_O

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №84590
 24.07.2013
I like everything in you.)

Good and bad ?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84589
 24.07.2013
The bombarders, is it? How could you forget about the Northern Poisoned Ocean?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №84588
 24.07.2013
Yesterday I realized I needed to lose weight.
xxx: I go like this from work, I see by the edge of my eyes, someone near me
XXX: No, it is the cheek.

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