bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №84547
 23.07.2013
I mean, I am a man without complexes.
I am a girl without a guy.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №84546
 23.07.2013
For the last money, I bought a ring. But what!! to
Which one?
With him +10k! Crete is now +487%, the probability of Crete is 50.5%. Poor to you!
You are Tiffany. Tagged with :*

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84545
 23.07.2013
She is: Ura! I was paid with vacation. I wanted to leave them for rest, but then I remembered that I needed to pay off the credit card. I want to buy some clothes for vacation. Yes, my stool is broken. And the dust. But the vacuum cleaner is old, but without a stove at all... And even on Sunday at the anniversary of the wedding, a gift would buy would not hinder us two...
He: In short, did you call me and tell me you have money, but you don’t have money?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84544
 23.07.2013
by Zaebalski:
and allo! Workshop, my computer brakes and does not access the internet.
Girl, are you at home? Should I toss you now?
Well, I don’t know, so right away...How long will you come in?

Vladimir: we have ladies literate, can and about 127.0.0.1 answer

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №84543
 23.07.2013
Poppy teaches a child (boy 2.5 years old). The child has misunderstandings with vocabulary, confuses male and female (which is normal for this age).

Q: So if Papa gathers, is he ready?
C is ready.
P: Because Dad is a boy. Woo is also a boy. And if the wolf gathered, what?
C is ready?
Q: Okay I am ready. If my mother is a girl. If my mom gets together, what?
Q: A minute more?

You will not argue...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №84542
 23.07.2013
In the shop:
Where do you keep your ice cream here?
Looking like a fool:
in the bread department.
Where else is ice cream?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №84541
 23.07.2013
Worse than a woman sitting on a diet, a cat planted on a therapeutic diet.
At any time of day and night it is worth to approach the refrigerator, as literally from the air nearby materializes seemingly just snorting creature without the back legs and looks at you with huge begging eyes: "Well, give me also just one piece of this carbonate, nobody will know. But when you put his special, standing figured cloud of money food in his bowl with his soul, he makes an insulting appearance, seemingly even flattering his lower lip, and slowly, bypassing the wide bow of the feeder, hides himself in the room behind the couch. And even his back seems to be upset at this moment.
But the hunger is not a aunt, the delicious flavourings of pastels on conscience ozonize the whole apartment, and minutes after 30 the cat still returns and eats with a suffering appearance, from time to time throwing on us, heartless villains-masters, sorrowful tormented looks. Certainly he does not eat his portion a little, and goes to lie down sadly, hanging his tail, on the window and thinking about how terrible his life is.
When birds sit near the window, the cat forgets their suffering, jumps up and begins to mourn them loudly. But it is worth noting that he is not alone in the room, as he, scratching his head unhappyly, again falls to the world, and plunges into sadness...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84540
 23.07.2013
As a result of the implementation of Gulliver’s threat to the lilips “Yes, I lay down on you!” there are dead and wounded.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84539
 23.07.2013
From Habrakabra about the new Opera:

Ryotsuke: Do you get the notes back?
pepelsbey: There are no such plans yet, but there is an extension to Evernote Web Clipper, for example.
“We don’t have a hammer, but you can use astrolabies instead.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84538
 23.07.2013
Wife: Your daughter is licking iPad
Husband: I understand her.
Husband: If I had an iPad at her age, I would lick him too.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №84537
 23.07.2013
eVGESH_WORK> in Togliatti you are more narcissistic without being embarrassed on the streets to spread...
joshua> eVGESH_WORK: they don’t even wear a paper bag for the syringe?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84536
 23.07.2013
I brought a cat home and showed it to my grandmother.
What is the name of this little monster?
and Yoko.
Is it Chinese?
No, it’s in honor of Yoko Ono, whom John Lennon of the Beatles loved.
I will call her a girl.

No comments simply.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84535
 23.07.2013
According to my husband's surname, I only called Madame Gritzauzeva, and that was in the book.

First, if the name is funny, why not? A physics teacher at the school where I was in high school called her husband Stepashkin. Secondly, my parents have worked together for 20 years, and at home they often joke to each other by name or surname.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84534
 23.07.2013
here here :

"That is an old puddle! What a fucking thing to put on this shit.
The Everest? The foolish developers haunted the wicked path where you will find it! I’ve been around this mountain for a long time and I haven’t gotten out of it!!!! to
Hopefully these old webbans will need to be scattered by the story."
The first time I went through Skyrim :)

is correct. And all why? Because it is not necessary to run around the mountain and jump on the rocks, having opened your eyes, but to talk to people and know their way - and then they will tell you everything and tell you. The conclusion is that being uncommunicable is harmful, and not only in reality, but even in the game.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84533
 23.07.2013
What is HR
xxx is?
YYY: Human Resource
It’s so fashionable to call staff now.
XXX God
Soon, the designer will be called in two letters.
YYY: No, I think no
XXX: IT, PR, HR...
XXX: This is exactly what people are preparing for chipping
How Droids Will Be PR4589
Xxx: HR4735
xxx: employee RK43567 go to the office of the director

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №84532
 22.07.2013
..."From the general human habits of any position, Vasya is shy and leads to a purposeless existence. From the point of view of Buddhism, it is freed from passions and close to enlightenment.

In fact, it is Nihua. In WOW, the same passions reign.
Is the lancer for the bead? But Vasya shakes on a new dragon as a means of transportation.
Fashion clothes for hipsters. But at the same time Vasya grinds for days to dress her character.
Sport is boring. But our Vasya harasses the reflexes of pushing buttons and strategies as a typical spotman.

So from the point of view of Buddhism, it simply replaced the social games of the real world with the social games of the virtual. And to enlightenment is not closer to any hipster.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №84531
 22.07.2013
So the brother priest answered the question about the Orthodox (!A dog and a silk?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84530
 22.07.2013
I had a dream that a gang of Chinese motorcyclists were chasing me. Most importantly, they caught and struck their heads. In the morning I go to work, two Uzbek people on the motorbike O_o from behind.
They asked me about the way, and I barely hit a tree!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84529
 22.07.2013
With the car:

xxx: And you are ashamed when you go out to overtake, and behind the steam car is clinging to some mrs and tls, and you, then, tap into the floor pedal, and he just in the bumper breathes without tension and you actually understand (if you do not have, of course, Priora), that the man is eagerly waiting, when, finally, you will crush your fuck on the 3rd transmission to your legitimate 120 and drop to the right?

YYY : No. It is a shame when the slide on the tail hangs, and how terrible it is.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №84528
 22.07.2013
In today’s digital world, you often have to deal with file archives. Ubuntu supports all common archive types except rar and zip.

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