bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80867
 29.04.2013
The letter has arrived (orthography and punctuation are preserved):
" Expensive technical support! My page is not displayed correctly. I chose the item "boy" looking for "girl" and in the general search I was shown how a guy is looking for a guy and I was added a GAY. Real with all the photos and a shaved blob, etc. What should I do?"

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80866
 29.04.2013
I am in line with the exchange. In front of me two guys, one asks: "How much to change?"
The second:"I don’t know, take a cell phone, call Alexey and ask!"
First"How is it written?"
The second: "Alexey the Right".
He goes out to call, comes back in a minute, it’s their turn. The first says to the cashier "We have 400 euros".
They are not burning ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №80865
 29.04.2013
Acapable: A phone with video support I bought one of the first, t.k. He saw the possibility of carrying normal porn into the sperm bank.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80864
 29.04.2013
I work as an instructor. I run the exams route in MREO with a student.
She asks, “Will the inspector go with me all the way or will it have to be disembarked somewhere?”
I: "Well, how boring you will be!"

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80863
 29.04.2013
These May holidays: from communist ugar to religious drink.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80862
 29.04.2013
xxx: and why in the series, Daenerys Targaryen is clearly seen on the big plans of the moustaches?? to
She is the mother of the dragons. It is shrimp...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80861
 29.04.2013
Women are strange creatures. To find themselves, they need something more than a couple of glasses of beer.
The third beer?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80860
 29.04.2013
You need to take care of the girl first.
You drink her tea.
YYY: may give

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №80859
 29.04.2013
Once there was Russian character, now there is Russian mentality.
Joseph of Egypt

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №80858
 29.04.2013
The Unexpected Happiness of Mesia Henri

Somewhere in the mid-50s of the last century, a beginner photographer trying to make money on various kinds of sensational photos, Jacques Henri visited a promising idea. At the time, the Eiffel Tower hit the asphalt of another suicide, which in the history of this structure turned out to be the 99th. “What if I can record the anniversary? I was terrified by the brains of the Frenchman. “That’s how many lemons the newspapers and magazines will take away from me!”
Henry pretended that an average of 2 (two) suicides jump from a tower a year, which means that he will have to wait for the next one for about six months. The photographer compared his expenses for this event with the expected fee for the unique frame and decided – it’s worth it.
Planned and done. Messie Jacques went to the Eiffel Tower every day, literally as if he were to work - the good of the press representatives were allowed there for free - and waited for the anniversary miser. Being on the top, swallowing cooling coffee from a thermos and snacking crushing croissants (food he always took with him, afraid and for a few minutes to get out of the café), the photographer from the opening to the closure of the tower looked at the sides and kept the "leika" in full combat readiness. But it went day after day, week after week, and the tourists looked dumb on the roofs of the buildings, and none of them ever gave Henry the opportunity to get rich.
Cursed by the stumbling, unable even to trivial suicide people, the messenger Jacques decided that it is not necessary to watch everyone without discretion and constantly spin his tail around his axis - already the neck began to hurt, and began to look at the people around him more analytically, pretending who of them is able to break out, so to speak, from the life context; to put it simply, who looks more unhappy. It turned out that the dark faces on the tower were enough, but it did not bring to the photographer of Navar. In addition, many of the characters reacted too irritably when Henry looked at them carefully; the risk of stumbling into the phase and the profile was too great. Eventually, he began to pay attention to something completely different – shoes.
And indeed, if a man has shoes, what kind of money will he spend on a cheap ticket to explore the city's surroundings? For months of monitoring the shoes of the tourists - female, male, and children to a bunch, - he in the mokasins, boots, shoes, stickers gradually began to notice systemic defects and pretend opportunities for their elimination. And Henry suddenly got caught up with this new hobby for himself...
The anniversary suicide messier Jacques did not wait, but soon he opened his shoe workshop. Over time, the network of "Jacques Henri's Shoe Ateliers" covered all of Paris, and the failed photographer became a successful businessman.
It turned out that it was easier to earn money on solving even small human problems than on the misfortune of others.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №80857
 29.04.2013
The impression that a naked woman in socks makes on a man is fundamentally different from the impression that a naked man in socks makes on a woman.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80856
 29.04.2013
Theme of Car Transportation:

Good afternoon, the price is interesting.

Go down from the 5th floor, there is an elevator, but 1 walk down foot will be, a single bed, take it to Victory Park, collect, wait a maximum of 2 hours, disassemble and take and raise back!

Y: Funny know-how - bed for rent.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80855
 29.04.2013
xxx: baalin, 10gb oz

If you had said this 20 years ago, you would have burned on perfocards.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80854
 29.04.2013
I want a perfect world without people.
You will be bored.
And I am a tree!
Oh yeah, then yes...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80853
 29.04.2013
xxx: for a long time I want to buy myself a guitar, lead, hats, but the money is not enough, everything merges into drinking-going =( is it alcoholism?
YYY: This is a comfort zone

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №80852
 29.04.2013
<CheMax>: I am surprised by two types of girls... One type loses weight like this: a cake with potatoes in the institute’s dining room can’t be taken in any case, and five cakes are easy! The second type is like this: I don’t eat breakfast, don’t eat lunch, don’t eat dinner, but I sit on chocolate all day.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80851
 29.04.2013
The husband plays in WoW and something there feverishly prints - obviously not fighting. I ask what poetry? He says he’s beating off his friend’s unmerited ban for playing WoW for 20 hours a day for two weeks. The moderators thought he was a bot and joked... My half tried to convince me that he was a normal guy. Do you sleep 4 hours a day? Lenin was asleep too.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80850
 29.04.2013
The U.S. State Court has filed a lawsuit: “American African Americans against Photographers of the World” over the racist term “white balance.”
Being white will soon be illegal.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №80849
 28.04.2013
xxx: Sex, of course, is good... but forgive the collision - because for this and the grandmother's shop can be picked up... and when for the soul - then just not to interest me in sex. After all, as you noticed, I’m not young anymore, and it’s time to think about monogamous relationships for me.

It is difficult for you to think of it, and it is difficult for you to understand it. But please pay attention to my following words: there is no regret of a heartworthy virgin in my life, boring, poor and sad. Therefore, it remains for me only to surrender to the sin of flesh with ladies not educated in the spirit of strict manners, restraint and honor. Therefore, do not judge me severely for this, I have no other relationship today except these and friendly.

[ + 37 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80848
 28.04.2013
If men are only looking for women for sex, why are they surprised when they are only looking for money?
“Kiss, it’s because sex and money are very different things: try getting a salary with sex – and you’ll understand it.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna