I went to the store. I go and put everything in my basket. Oh! The creatures! Kids love it, I will take it. Date of validity: 26th October. and crying! I kindly call the employee of the store (well little, the director of freshness is sick). I say:

You are dead here.

Oh oh oh! Thanks, I’ll clean it now.

It is in his hands!) 3 packages of damaged products.

I am pleased that I saved some anonymous from a date with a friend of Faisans making further purchases. I go back to the box through the milk department and what am I, shit, seeing? The creature, the fucker! The same people who ordered to live a month ago! Well, I think I will arrange for you! For the whole store:

Girls, you are late here.

They resort to the fool who has taken the delay and the boss of the store.

- Young man, well why scream, she just walked behind the basket to pick up the delayed goods...

A fresh story. I just told them today.



So, in one of the villages of the Chelyabinsk region there are two neighboring areas. The owner of one is a man, the owner of another is a lady.



History is silent, because of what they snack that the man filed in court with the demand to remove the bath on the lady's site. It is said to be 2.5 meters from the fence, and should be at least 3 meters away.



The first instance he passed safely and the court decided to remove the bath to the devil's mother. However, it was smooth on the paper, so we forgot about the strawberries.



First, while the trial, it turned out that the fence of the man stands 20 cm on the section of the lady. Following the established tradition of good-neighborly relations, she filed with the court, demanding to remove the fence.



And, secondly, appealed the decision of the court on the question of the bath, and, while the case was awaiting consideration in the regional court, took out of the bath the stove, stove and other bathroom and registered the bathroom as a summer house.



It is foreseeable that the district court has left the decision in force. The ladies are coming to the site to remove the bath... the lady answers – so I have no baths! It was, it was floating. There is a summer house, but there is no bath!



When the tail is ripped, the stewards go to the judge. What to do? The judge, thinking, replies: is the bath indicated in the decision? The Bath! Is there a bathroom on the site? No to! End of IP.



As long as this whole petrification lasted, the court decided on the fence. And since the fence could no longer be registered as a lighthouse column or bridge, the roofs returned to the site to remove the fence.

I close the next object, bring the customer the acts performed and so on.



So what did you bring to me? Work is not finished!

– Victor Semenovich, all the works are finished, the receiver has signed, there are only CCs to sign, here are they.

How is it? And the rubbish? Wow, how much is it!

You personally removed the rubbish from your account. They said you will do it with your own strength.

But he stayed in the contract. Here is the item "...the contractor carries out... cleaning and disposal of garbage...".

The contractor carries out construction and installation works, launch and repair works, as well as the cleaning of the territory, the export of garbage in the amounts established by the estimate, which is an integral annex to the contract. “To be precise.

Well here. It is in the contract! Finish the work.



In the evening I consulted with the director:

He tells me what I will do. He says it is in the contract and does not.

Why is it in the contract and not in the estimate?

- Because the contract is standard, and the volume of work is regulated by estimates and supplements.

The dope?

Well yes. by Dop. of work. and supplementary. which arise in the process.

Is it possible to clean the garbage?

of course.

– Great, clean the territory, take out the garbage, all expenses write me separately.



Two days later, everything was cleaned, the customer signed the acts, the money was transferred.

Three days later, the lawyer of the company sent a pre-trial claim for cleaning expenses + 200k rubles.



The director said so:

If they call you, you know nothing, you did nothing.

I know nothing and have not done anything.

That’s fine, say so.



And six months later the director sentenced in arbitration the full amount under Articles 309-310 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation.



He says it was ridiculous as he shouted in the court “in the contract it is written that they should be removed, let them clean up” and “yes, the services were provided, but within this contract.” The judge quickly understood what determines the contract and what counts.

Since no one disputed the performance of the work, the claim was fully satisfied.

I work as a teacher in a kindergarten. I had an interesting conversation with the manager this morning.

by A.V. Which of the children are you taking to the contest?

List the names and surnames of the children. and what?

You are choosing the wrong kids.

Why is?

Do you know the children whose parents work in the city? You have three such children in your group. Therefore, first of all, these children need to be taken to competitions, actively involving them in all activities.

But I don’t choose children by their parents, I look at the knowledge and abilities of the child. I see where the child can show up.

That is good, but wrong.

Such wonderful leaders drive pedagogy.

Three years ago I had to find a job. At the current location (a small factory in Yekaterinburg) wages were delayed for two weeks, production volumes dropped, no prospects were seen at all. Everything was so bad that the director in an open text advised everyone to look for a new place of employment, not to adorn the situation and promise a quick way out of the crisis.



After publishing my resume wherever possible, I began to wait patiently for responses. And here some time later there is a call from Rostelecom (I am, Rostelecom):



Dramatic gemelyuk!



I am drunk!



- (rt) And you are concerned about the recruitment service of Rostelecom, found on the Internet your resume. Are you still looking for work?



And of course!



In this case, we ask you to go to the interview at this address. The head of the department that needs a specialist has already read your resume and would like to talk to you personally.



No question, I am running!





After such a call, I was upset — even if, because my resume was read not just by some girl-eichar there (sorry me, girls-eichar), but already by my,, future manager! So are interested! I need someone! I will soon be eating normally again.



After flying through all the spring lawns and canyons with dirt through half the city through traffic jams, I entered the RT office, where my arrival was already notified by the pass service and a representative of the personnel department, with whom we went to the office of the head of the department.



To be honest, until then I was never met anywhere: I already mentioned the waiting staff, then I was offered tea and coffee, after which the manager (an intelligent look of an uncle aged 50-55) asked me for permission to smoke in my own office, offering me a cigarette (!) I don’t smoke, but I was pleasantly surprised.



We sat comfortably each in his chair, I prepared to listen to questions, but here the manager begins (and, in fact, ends) this evening:



- gemelyuk, thank you for your attention to our organization as a whole and to the vacancy in particular. We regret to inform you that you are not suited to us.



For the first time in my life, I understood the expression “eye-chop”. Because I couldn’t do anything else at that moment. No, I was previously denied employment, driven with suckles out of the offices, promised to call back and did not call back... I am quite philosophical about all this, well no - so no, luck next time. However, for the first time in my life, I was denied employment without a single interview question.



Obviously, when I realized that since I was not dressing up and not leaving, something wasn’t clear to me, the boss uncle wondered, what was it about?



- (rt) gemelyuk, can I find out the reason for your confusion?



- (I) Eye khm, well, you didn't even ask me about anything, maybe I can tell you something about myself and my skills?



- (rt) No, not worth it, I carefully read your resume, it is very and very meaningful, you really have good knowledge, but specifically our department implies a slightly different specificity of work, in which I will not be able to fit you.



Why did you invite me to an interview? Why was it necessary to call me in principle, if you could simply ignore my resume, since I don’t fit you? I’t know your interest, I’t go here, and you’t waste time in empty conversation with me.



“You know, young man, I believe that it is always necessary to express your opinion to a person by looking him in the eyes. You need to have the courage to personally report the negative decision you have made with respect to another person. So I asked you to come, so that you could hear the verdict from me, not from anyone else.



(I) Walk to the left, but if you didn’t call me, I’t even know that there was a verdict in my case!



(RT) That is exactly what it is! Now you know.



by ZANAVES



So far, scrolling through this situation in my head and telling it to my friends as a joke, I can’t understand what it was? The real position of man, which implies such nobility? Desire to wash? Or just a particular character? :) No one will know it anymore! :D

If the girl agreed to play with you as a fool to dress up, don't be a fool - put the cards aside.

Samara airport should be named Monet, and Saratov airport should be named Manet, so that these cities are no longer confused.

Which word does not exist in Hebrew?

The Sabbath.

The elephant hit a mouse. I went with a clip in my ear.

Why did the mathematicians fail the tests?
The news went on: "Russian teachers of mathematics failed testing in mathematics." Already on this site try to justify this with different rules of sliding terms.
Everything is easier.

I am a computer science teacher and I passed these tests. I passed three tests: as a teacher of computer science, as a teacher of mathematics and as a head of a secondary professional education institution. The second and third had nothing to do with me, well, what I would not see is what the boss is kidding.
I passed all three tests. This is so that in the comments do not start stating that I am bad and do not understand anything, this is the currency for others.

I started with my subject, of course. What can I say, I gave it hard. And you know why?
Here, imagine: there is a mathematical record using different numbering systems. Has anyone missed this topic safely in school? So I will explain: there in expression will be small numbers standing below. And if you are not very lucky, then up (the degree is called).
Do you know what the test looked like? The numbers are in place. But not on its own. All the numbers are constructed in a row, as if it were an arithmetic example for primary school. And before solving a task, you have to guess what task was meant.
And so all the tasks in which something differs from a simple text question. The Table? Write texts from the table. The painting? Well, let’s assume that he is somewhere, but not showing his teachers, they must guess the answer themselves.
So there is nothing surprising in the fact that the teachers of philology and social sciences do best. The text is the easiest to do.

And that is not all. We, teachers of computer science, were lucky: we had questions about computer science. A few things. Less than half, much less, but there were.

And when I passed the exam for teachers of mathematics, I wrote questions.
The mathematician had to answer.
and 25 questions.
All with a choice of answer. The chances were, they were.
16 questions - on bureaucratic norms and on scientific terminology, which 90% of teachers throw out of their heads as soon as they pass the GOS when graduating from universities. Teachers of mathematics should know the permissible frequency of scheduled examinations and the difference between the definition of the term "competence" and the definition of the term "competence". By the way, no, you thought wrong now. This is not the meaning of the word “competence” used by normal people. We have a different importance to know.
And here, for a minute, this mouth is almost two-thirds of the test.
The first is about the psychology of adolescence. That is OK.
1 according to sanitary regulations. Do you think something important? Yes, it was necessary to answer what should be the width of the passage between the sides, 60 centimeters or 70. How do you think, why do you know this to the teacher of mathematics, if in the real cabinet the width of the passage between the parties will be determined not by the papers, but by the width of the cabinet and the width of the parts?
Question 4: Test of computer literacy. Undoubtedly it must. would have to. If the questions were to understand the practical application, not the knowledge of terminology.
Three questions about teaching mathematics. Two of them have formatting problems. The essence of one of them I was never able to guess, although judging by the answers, this question was on the mathematics level of primary school.
Let’s count, when it comes to mathematics. 16+1+1+4+3, right, twenty five.
How many questions about mathematics? 25-25, you’ll be surprised, but it’s zero.

Russian Mathematics Teachers Failed in Mathematics Testing
Who is the shame?
Not for math teachers. No, this test was passed on the right ball quite real. Especially if you are not ashamed to google in the process. But “voluntary testing” in many schools turned into “I said everything in school should be done so that management was enough,” so it’s not surprising that many went through “to get rid of” this mess.
Not the test developers. Expert Council on Informatization of the Education and Education System under the Interim Commission for the Development of the Information Society of the Federation Council. The Federation Council is such a thing that no committee with it has been ashamed to declare meaning for a long time.
And shame on the journalists who joyfully rushed to circulate the news, talking only with one side. Not the one that should be.

Although,, they are just performing another order to wash the eyes. Nevertheless, very successful this "loud news" bordered the news that the Minister of Education wants to prohibit graduates from trying to enter several universities at once.

For some reason, we have people who pour out the social borscht, cooked by all of us and paid for by us, on the basis that they have a pollovnik in their hands, decided that they are feeding us.

Just just. From the neighboring office in the clinic, a doctor runs up, addresses patients:

Until you come in. He disappears in the office.

After a second, the grandfather arises from the store, opens the door of the office and follows the doctor. From the doctoral call:

I told you before you came in!! to

The upset grandfather falls back, sits on the bench and apologizes to the present:

I thought she said, “Pothanin, come in.”

I went to my cousin for a visit. We rarely meet, mostly on the phone and online. Calls and asks on the way to take the eldest daughter from the kindergarten, himself is delayed at work. Call, I say, the teacher to give the child. I have already sent all the passwords. I come to the kindergarten, explain who I am, everything coincides. The child runs to the aunt, and the child does not go. I went to the teacher and no one. I call the niece, I hand over the phone to the child, Mom talked and she was replaced, immediately knotted, hugged, dressed up and went. We talked about how to behave in different situations. What do you say, good guys. The woman was 4 years old.

Charity in Russia is when the rich ask the poor to go away.

The paradise apples.
(The story of a former Afghan)

I do not like black. I do not like Afghanistan.
You all remember what Shevarnadze arranged with our army. Per anyone has forgotten, but not us.
Berlin, the drunk EBN director...
Such a disgrace is never forgotten, never washed away. What to say there. We were thrown out in full.

“Served like dogs – breathe up like dogs,” not literally, but it was exactly how the red-red captain in the military command meant to me. "I did not send you there!" was the answer when I turned to the military commander again for... No matter.
I got out.
Friends in Afghanistan, of course, helped survive the devastating 1990s. Our brotherhood is not comparable to the bandit. Yes, and we passed Afghanistan not in the parade, under the sounds of the brave march. Some afterwards, Transnistria and Chechnya were enough.
This shit, the bandits, we have always heard. And they didn’t come to us. They knew who they were dealing with. We were in parallel with them. On the line of fire, as they say, did not cross.

Poor and rise up. Black is used again. The case understandable.
In our republics everything was ruined, they came to us to gasterbatch.
Well, we were already here, at home, smoking over them, not counting people.
They are black and they are black. Let them say thank you for being still alive.
I have always taught my children that they are not people, they are black. The dogs.

Life gradually improved, the grievances smoothed. I decided to take one of them into my country house. In the garden, and in the farm.
People are non-drinkers and executives.

In Russian, neither Belmes, as the name did not ask what the difference to me. Someone on his fingers explained what to do. I took it out of pity. Almost an old man. It is better, I thought, it will die, no one will look for it.
The tomb is arranged. We are not animals, in fact.

I kept strict. He didn’t bite dogs, but sometimes bite them. How without that, so as not to take away the soul, if in the business, what a mess came out.
He has served me for four years. I am accustomed to him. He did his job correctly.

On the New Year, my granddaughter was born. I am alone in Dacia.
The wife went to her mother, sick aunt, age. I decided to do this with a bubble. I do not drink alone. Here is such joy.
I don’t understand, I think, but I’m not alone drinking.

I drank with him. He is silent. He poured out the glasses again, and then again.
It took me a little. The day was difficult. We sit and silence. Rather, I tell him, I share joy, and he is silent and only sneezing.

Suddenly he spoke Russian.
As I heard, I was pierced like lightning, the gift of speech almost lost.
He thought like Gerasim.

“Remember, Volodya,” he tells me, “who dragged you wounded for four days in the mountains of Afghanistan and brought you half alive into the sandstone?” You were with a broken stomach. In the mining field, our group got there. We were on the task. We two then stayed with you, under a mortar fire. Come have gone. A piece of mine stomach you then uncovered. I managed to tie you over then so that the intestines didn’t fall out. It was in Kandahar. My mouth is yours.
Mahmoud is my calling.
Reminded me?
We are in trouble, Volodymyr. Bad people fight for power, the people fight their heads. On the blood of ordinary people, one criminal power replaces another. We are tired of fighting, Volodya. There are no more men in the cages. In fact, there were only those who were able to go to Moscow. But there is no peace here either. You are not a hospitable people.

Why are you holding people for dogs, Volodya? Was this the way we met you when you, the Russians, fled from the Germans in 41 to evacuate to us in Tashkent?
We gave you everything we had. Yes, we lived poorly, but no one ever humiliated you with these words, “black,” and many other offensive words. We all lived in one large and friendly family. Maybe that’s why we won.

I noticed that he barely drank. He spoke, he spoke. Recalled fellow employees, funny stories from the life of our part.
And I remembered. I remembered how lonely I was in the hospital, how Mahmoud came and brought paradise apples.
The paradise, pale pink apples I remembered for the rest of my life. He pulled me out of that world, carried me on his arms, pulled me on himself, and did not give up. Four days.
For four days he carried me under the burning sun, and over the night he warmed my body with his warmth. To save me, with my broken stomach, and to get this from me, this is such a black ungratefulness...

and long. We stayed with him for a long time that night that passed into the morning.
“Why didn’t you admit to me right away, Mahmoud, but I asked him in the morning.
I wanted to look at you from the side. I have never seen you in peace. Several times when you beat me, I had the thought of killing you.
It’s easy for me, you know. But I took that thought away from myself. We are men. To suffer pain and become stronger, this is laid down in every real man by nature.
And then then. (He is silent )
In those four days, I became different. You became my child for me.
How could I kill my child?

I propose to the deputies a legislative initiative to move the climactic from 45 to 65. Matvijenko will support, Malysheva will understand, Malakhov will tell.

The more time has passed since the war, the cheaper films are being made about it.

About One Dagestan (A Tale of a Reserve Officer)

In 91 he served in district warehouses. Military unit in Moscow. He was on duty on the part when they called the CPS with a message that they brought two new recruits to us.
I come to the CPP – accompanied by an officer, two Dagestan soldiers are sitting. They are sent to us for urgent service. I anticipate a bunch of problems in connection with these guys, I take the documents for them from the accompanying officer, I go with the papers to the commander of the unit.
He grabs his head and starts calling on the phone. From one Dagestan he managed to refuse, and the other remained with us.
He was the only Caucasian in the part, and he had to bite the trouble. We saw his blues several times, and one day even his jaw was broken in the barracks at night.
I say to him, “Tell me who.” We will immediately bring him to court, and you will be removed from the party. I need another translation. And the Dagestan always says, “It’s me. He fell from the table.”
I pretended to separate him from the rest of the staff. I ask :
What can you do? What type of construction work do you know?
He says:
I know construction. Everything I needed at home was built by myself.
Can you stitch?
I can.
Show him the warehouse. The building is a pre-revolutionary building. 400 meters in length.
Could you make a façade alone?
I can!
I told him then that if he did this job, he would get a leave and thanks from the commander of the unit.
And every morning after the divorce, he took a car, a tool, cement, and went to that warehouse. He built for himself bridges, bridges, and every day there. The company for other work, and he - brings himself cement from another warehouse, water boilers, mixes, tinted and tinted. He goes into the dining room without order. In the barracks, after the departure comes. In sight and in sight all the time. His grandparents and the whole borsot stopped pulling him. His work is checked. “Qualitatively well,” he says.
I have already forgotten about him—it does not create any problems—when one day he comes, “Comrade, senior lieutenant, let me go!”
What is?
Your order is fulfilled! The warehouse is broken!
Oh well good! What has come?
I think...
You talked about gratitude.
I woke up inside. About the promised vacation he is silent, and I remembered. I remember 91. There is poverty in the army and war in the Caucasus. It is impossible to let him go home - there is a great chance that he will not return, someone will have to follow him, and whoever will go - may also not return. There are no “Thanks” forms. Well – I had big postcards of the type by February 23, but no inscriptions. There is an order tape, heroic faces of fighters, something more relevant. On this postcard, the staff mechanic wrote about the following under my dictatorship:
- Dear Hatima Magomedovna (name-fatherhood here is conditional)!
Your son...... from (date)... to the present time performs the honorary duty of Defender of the Motherland in the military unit entrusted to me.
During the service of the ordinary... (name) showed himself...
Thank you for your education...
With sincere respect, the commander of the military unit No. Colonel...
Date of signature, stamp.
The commander signed, the stamp was placed in the headquarters, gave this card to the soldier. He, as I learned later, sent this postcard to his mother by order or even a valuable letter, which meant handing it personally to the recipient. As for the leave, he was declared a leave at the location of the station. That is, after the morning divorce he is free to leave the territory of the unit, to walk around Moscow, to come or not to come for a meal in the soldier dining room, to leave the territory of the unit again, but to return to the barracks at 21.00. Let us not go deeper – how much this incentive was consistent with the charter. But I promised, and my promise the commander fulfilled in this way.
The boy went on vacation. In the company, his relations with fellow servants have long been normalized, when part of the ordered letter from Dagestan came.
The mother of this guy on two pages with a calligraphic handwriting and with impeccable grammar thanked the commander of the unit for the received letter about the son. She that this letter was read by all close and distant relatives (this is what I here say to us "distant" and they have no distant relatives. All the neighbors.She said she is proud of her son, and glad that he got to serve in such a good part, with such good commanders and fellow servants.
Then, among other tasks and duties, I chose time to talk to the guy.
His father died early, and their three were raised by their mother, a teacher of Russian in a small school. At the medical commission in the military department, something was found in his lungs, and his mother had to borrow money from relatives, to lubricate doctors, so that the guy was recognized fit for military service.
And this letter of the commander of the unit about the good service of the son the mother took to one of the relatives, they took to another... This letter was read by half of Dagestan.
This is the story.
I almost forgot to say that during all the time of my officer service, this Dagestan was the only soldier I knew who wrote in Russian with impeccable literacy.

If the teacher’s salary doesn’t satisfy you, go to business.
If your business is down, go to court.
If the court is unfair, go to elections.
If there are no normal elections, go to retirement.
If the retirement age has been raised, go work as a teacher.

I have a cousin (a cousin of my ex). He’s not a bad guy, he’s under thirty, but he’s a pretty unique guy. He was already born with a golden spoon in his ass, his father in the 90s turned short schemes on the subject of construction, road repair, etc. He acquired a lot of real estate, when this property cost a penny, and over the years he increased his capital. His son (my acquaintance) spent almost all his childhood in Europe and the United States, "study" in Moscow, then still studied in America, but eventually returned to Russia. Bata is already in regional politics, his financial activity is thriving. But the uniqueness of this guy is that he has never worked in his life. Thusovki, trolls, travel, clutches, cars, alcohol, problems (it was smeared a couple of times after dates), Instagram, etc., but we are not talking about it now.

I recently stumbled upon his ad where he talks about his seminars on “The Way to Success” which is a kind of coaching “how to make money.”

A guy who has never worked in his life, was born in a wealthy family and does not even enter his father's business, holds seminars on the topic: "The path to success!"

And the most interesting thing is that judging by the comments, there are a lot of people willing to get to these same seminars.