So I had a girlfriend and she asked me to hack the postbox of the senior because it was something to someone and I had to prove it. I, as the best hacker in the whole city (Windows XP reinstalled with his eyes closed and the license key knew by hand, well, and "you are learning a programmer") didn't come up with anything smarter than:

1st Closed box type administrator_s@что-to.ru

2nd I wrote to this old-age girl type: "Bla-bla technical failure, we sprinkled your data, please write the login and password you use to log in, type we will bring to our database"

and began to wait. The answer is login and password.

I write to her: “Thank you for cooperation, the information has been updated, continue to use our service.”

So I hacked the first and only mailbox from which the password did not change for several years. The old man actually spilled some infusion.

And I am ashamed of this act, but then the hormones played and the desire to eat.

and Taxi.

With the words "with the attacking" a woman sat by me in a good mood. She talked about the New Year’s mood, about the fact that she has already put a tree and bought presents for the children. She really served me a mandarine, although I refused for a long time.

By the middle of the trip, the phrases "Oh, how beautifully dressed the street" and "Oh, look what a funny cap on the carapuse" changed to "do not pay teachers for merits" and "every coin of the shore, so that children can buy sweets."

In general, instead of $120 she paid $100 motivated by the fact that I ate her mandarine, and she was worth money.

They told the story of an ordinary man who married a descendant aristocrat. White bone and blue blood. She ate on silver and understood all the subtleties and shades of wine. Young people decided to live separately from rich parents and rely only on themselves. And at some point, the man became wondering if his wife could really distinguish the ordinary good wine from the great one. And he bought a bottle of the most expensive wine he had enough money for. I put it in a bottle of ordinary wine. And trying not to give up anything, he offered to drink a little wine in the evening. He poured wine on the glasses.



The wife looked at the wine, made a little swallow and said:

Oh my God, what a fool you are. What money will we spend the whole month?

From the discussion of hidden cameras in rental apartments

Damn, Edak and I could be a porn star.

BBB: look for yourself on requests!))

ccc: The boy caught the calf for two hours, and then finished in a minute.mp4 (02:01:03)

ddd: Section “Tiny penises”

A friend told me. He worked a twelve-hour shift, the second in 2 days, and at work also celebrated someone's birthday, drank a drink. Here he sits, at half twelve, at an empty metro station, waiting for the train. Because of the column, two real puppies come out, look around the surroundings, and resolutely towards him.

“Thank you, man,” they say.

“Well, guys,” the friend replied.

As you can remember, he was very tired, and a little sluggish. He understood what he was going to do, but he was no longer afraid and powerless.

Are you waiting for the train?

I wait.

Do you have a phone, man?

There are guys.

Do you have a good phone?

I have a great phone, guys.

Pofigism and fatigue overcame my friend completely.

What if I pick? Questioned by the boy.

“Try it,” the friend replied.

At the same time he had no illusions about the outcome of the fight; he was like a crushed lemon, but they were still two. I just had to answer something.

The boys looked around, shrugged their shoulders and said:

Okay, take care of yourself.

We left at sunset.

What do you know about failure?



Polarist Douglas Mousson and two of his colleagues were returning to the base in Antarctica after a long expedition. On December 14, 1912, a tragedy occurred - one of Mousson's colleagues failed in a crack and died. Together with him, the stall failed, which contained most of the supplies and a tent. To the base scientists had to go almost 500 km. The situation was complicated by the fact that the temperature did not rise above -20 ° C and the strong wind did not stop.

Due to a shortage of food, Moson and Merz had to eat the meat of the surviving dogs, and the sanes to drag on their own.

Three weeks later, on January 8, 1912, Merz died, and Moson continued his journey alone. He had to get rid of almost everything to ease the san.

A few days before the end of the journey, the polar failed to crack in the ice, but managed to escape. When Moson managed to get to the base, it turned out that the ship "Aurora", on which he was supposed to sail home, departed 5 hours ago!

Military school, a lecture on tactics. The teacher for one and a half hours talks about the organization of security and defense of the position of the unit. Discuss diversion and intelligence groups and methods of combating them. And suddenly he says:

- You know, in fact, these saboteurs are not so scary... Idiots in the leadership – that’s what is really scary. Well, the sabotage explodes the bridge, it is unpleasant, but it can be restored. An idiot is able to rebuild something that there is nothing to rebuild.

I thought here - the most disgusting thing, with the saboteurs I have not yet faced, but idiots meet regularly. It is a pity that no one has been taught to fight them.

My father and I went home from town to village. On the way I fell asleep and slept halfway. She woke up, and the father after a short silence says: "I go, he says, I see that the birds in front of the road are sitting, they are not going to fly away, even, he says, the light of the fares does not shake them. And next to you you are sleeping, I think if I ring, the daughter will wake up. So I broke them.”

I used to name all sorts of credit institutions, bank employees, investment companies, etc. about-money shell. I don’t use the “crawl” way. I always use the “Article” method. As a rule, on that end sits a green swallow in a white blouse and from the phrase combination Article 137 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation strongly mangrages and hardly continues the conversation.

But from today I’ve been chasing for a long time. The call.

- Sergey Alexandrovich, good day, you are worried about Alpha Bank, we would like to offer you...

I interrupt :

Sorry to interrupt you, what is your name?

Olga (I don’t remember exactly)

Olga, where did you get my number?

-Bla-Bla, the general database of bank numbers.

Do you know what is Article 137 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation?

A heavy breath.

It began

I put the phone.

Men are silent more often than they listen.

Cognitive dissonance
"the state of mental discomfort of an individual caused by a collision in his consciousness of conflicting ideas"

12 years for a girl in Israel or just Bat-Mitzwa (13 years and Bar-Mitzwa for boys, respectively) is a majority, a great event that is not inferior to the significance of the wedding, and in the magnitude of the celebration sometimes exceeds it.
But often parents, having thrown up the upcoming expenses to the nose and realizing that they will have to drink and feed... a hundred people, whom the child has not seen in the eyes, and it is not for nothing, go to a quite reasonable compromise with regard to themselves and the culprit of the celebration:
"Well, let's gather a full hall of people, and you'll be a real princess there, or let's fly somewhere for a couple of weeks of your choice? The answer to the provocative-territorial question is usually obvious.
The first princess on her DR prototyped with her mother America from ocean to ocean.
The second child also turned out to be "not a freer" and on timid attempts to sell her Disneyland from Europe, she said harshly: I will always have time to Paris. This time it is Japan.

Japan is Japan!
Organized tour for the weak, we do everything ourselves, and here Daddy sat in forums, google maps and flight aggregators, and quietly sitting mother went to torture the internet with queries: "earthquakes in Japan" "to buy a child from the Yakuza", "what to do if the child is lost in Kyoto", "whether geisha is contagious" and so on.
Running forward, I will say that Cassandra's syndrome is not alien to her spouse, and in part her fears were realized. On the day of our departure to Japan it (Japan) trembled well, but we were still connected in Paris at this time. On the day of our departure from the Land of the Rising Sun, with one eye I watched the heroic game of the Russian national team at the World Cup, and in the second - the heroic work of the Japanese emergency services, since Kyoto was already covered by flooding. I lost my child once, but not in Kyoto, but in Osaka. Geisha and Yakuza did not work. And in general, he had to tattoo with a sports bandage in the local sauna, because the eyes of the samurai grandparents, who were not afraid, just shouted: "I am charging!"

and Japan. Everything that is written about her is true and false. You can’t feel it when you listen to other people’s stories. You have to visit there. I have spent most of my life in a country with a fairly good level of service, but in Japan this level is prohibited. I looked into the eyes of these aliens who were ready to make harakiri if they couldn’t help you, and I wanted to shout, “I don’t believe it!” It cannot be so good.
After all, when you leave the resort (a national hotel), and the owner accompanies you, standing on your knees and worshiping, you torment yourself with the question: - Is he grateful to you that you gave him money, or praises God that you finally dropped?

But gradually we believed, and, and allowed this world to settle within us and relax, like a herb bath in the onsen.
For skeptics, yes, of course – I know about the highest levels of stress in Japan, and deaths at work, and the forest of suicides, and maniacs in the subway, but the child does not need to know it, she has a journey into a fairy tale – and the fairy tale Japan knows how to implement like no other country.

to the affair. Last day, again Tokyo, the Sibuya district, something like Manhattan in the United States, neon, engines, euphoria, a comfortable hotel with a swimming pool. Behind and Disney, and Universal, and the Valley of the Geysers, and the Imperial palaces. My child is happy and I don’t need it anymore. though though! I go to the minimarket, buy something for little, among other things, take a bottle of local whiskey (alcohol they have, by the way, quality). I talk to the youngest on the phone, what else to do. The rainbow Japanese with a smile, of course, shutterly packing shopping. Then came the whiskey. And suddenly, VOICE like from a distant planet, destroying the rainbow Japanese dome:
Do you need glasses under the bottle?
To say that I am oh...l, nothing to say. And he stands and slides, pleased with the effect.
I am in shock, I watch. “Well, Japanese, what is gold in your mouth for a fix?
“It’s okay, brother, I’m a Tajik, I study here at the university, I work in the evening. I wanted to laugh at you!

So I got to know Anzura and cognitive dissonance.

A line in the clinic, the door of the office opens, the doctor on the whole corridor joyfully reports:
According to the data protection law, we do not have the right to invite patients by calling them by name. A man with syphilis, come in!

When I was a teenager, my girlfriend’s mother, being a little sluggish, said to me, “You know, you’re beautiful, even more beautiful than my daughter.” My girlfriend was nearby.

It was a very, very uncomfortable and sad moment.

The girl glanced and only smiled slightly. The girl objectively - cute, stylish, with a good figure. She loves her mother, and it is mutual.

I always liked her mother, she regretted my family problems and didn’t miss an opportunity to make a compliment or praise, but I’m not a Hollywood beauty.

Probably her mother didn’t understand what she said; we didn’t discuss it with a friend.

But... You know, my girlfriend’s face at that moment... That sad look and humility made me realize that this was not the first time my mom underestimated her. And it turned out to be true, often - in small things, less often - in more serious things.

The girl, growing up, did not become a complex gray mouse, but often sought love and approval, trying to be good for everyone.

But how can you think of yourself as the best if you have not been told about it?

Recently, he witnessed a conversation between the grandmother (B) of the buyer and the seller (P) in a small store of various electronic items: controls from household appliances, batteries, CD/DVD discs, computer components in Tver.

B: I need batteries in the TV controller.

Finger or little finger?

B: You are a seller, you must know!

Q: There are so many different types!

B: You know nothing!

B: Yes, there is another question. I did not buy a radio receiver in the store, the seller set it up for me. There were 15 channels and it all worked so loudly. When I got home, nothing worked. What may be?

Q: Where is your home?

B: Yes in the area.

Q: In which area of the city?

B: What a city! 70 kilometers to Tver.

Q: so you have a receiver there will not work, there are no FM stations, and the city is far away.

B: The phone is working.

Q: What kind of phone?

B: Cell, the tower is almost behind the garden!

Q: So what does this tower have to do with? This is not a radio station.

B: This is a shit, who has taken you as a seller! I go to the store, the seller is there.

A person produces 1-1. 5 liters of urine. Hitler lived 56 years.

365 * 56 = 20440 liters of urine.

In the high-haired years when Hitler urined on February 29, we

to ignore. We also ignore the fact that the urine consists only of water.

97% and that Hitler’s child produced slightly less urine than Hitler’s son.

The Adult Führer.

The volume of water on Earth is 1,386, 000, 000 cubic kilometers

Now take a glass for 180 grams of water.

One mouth of water, i.e. 18 grams, contains 6,022*10^23 molecules. in our

10 glasses of water. 6,022 * 10^24 molecules

If we assume that Hitler’s urine is distributed across the globe

equally, then in our glass 20440 * 6,022*10^24 / 1. 386x10 ^ 21

Water molecules that were in Hitler’s urine. That is, approximately 88 809 000.

Such a molecule.

That is, if you see a homeopathic remedy with the C10 label, then

The molecule of Hitler’s urine is 15,000 times larger.

The medication.

My employee once called, "I can't get out of the house, I was locked by a prostitute, and the keys were missing! After a couple of hours, the phone rings: “I tie the bands and go down the window!” (I lived on the 2nd floor, on the 3rd floor).

He said, “I lost myself in the woods and I don’t know where I am, I spent the night in the woods and I went out at dawn in search of a way out. “” has chosen.

He, some time later: "I will not go to work anymore, I went to Krasnodar region as a volunteer, there are going to shave the relic forest, we will save it! “...

All these scandals were true, too, but nevertheless, I consider this character a dwarf...

My daughter always taught me to take her garbage home. I ate my ice cream in my pocket and put it in the oven at home. Last New Year, a 16-year-old daughter pulled home a bottle of champagne. Children are growing.

Once in the kindergarten, we were asked the question: "What benefits does a chicken bring to a person?" There were options: feathers, eggs, meat, but no one named the most obvious option. Then I raised my hand and said, “They can be sacrificed!” The educator of the officel, the parents at home, of course, stunned, but I was no longer allowed to watch TV3 with them))

Women talk much faster than we listen.

"The longer I live in the white light, the more I am convinced that people of any kind are capable of arranging Armageddon. And the more desolate the wasteland, the more Armageddon Armageddon.

by Andrei Cterhov. From the book “Being a Dragon.”


“Style Syndrome”

It was long ago. Almost fifteen years ago.
There was one commercial office, thousands of which were in Russia. Well, as an office, not to be very large, but not a little bubble. Stores, shops and your own fleet. Three founders in equal shares, each has their own separate business, but all adequately, even family friends. Profit is not any, but not three pennies, for yachts and villas is not enough, but for a year for an apartment in Moscow for everyone, quite. The company practically did not interfere in the work, relying reasonably on the director.
And office workers are not so many, a standard set. Wholesale department, retail, accounting, personnel department, marketing, IT, in the last two to one person total. The director himself. The group is approximately half male/female.

The office is not that "Ah", but an entire floor with a separate entrance to the office center. Storage and car park right on the territory is convenient. The office has a kitchen with a chef and a small dining room (one room) for their own, with delicious and free (!) The Lunch.
Only here, the toilet in the office was one, without division into male-female.
Previously, questions and dissatisfaction with this fact did not arise, but somehow a delegation from the female half of the office came to the director. Headed by the office manager and in conjunction with the wife of one of the founders (it is boring to see if she sits at home). There is a problem with the toilet. The director, a man already young, but experienced and smart manager, tried to translate a little bit of everything into a joke:
Is our cleaner cleaning badly? Or do our boys not raise the chair or use the erchic to learn? I will put them! But it wasn’t a joke, it turned out to be a lot more serious.)
The cleanliness in the toilet and order, and the boys, as for selection, clean - in the right place get, and the stool is used, and the chair is raised, but here is the showdown - back they do not drop it! And women themselves to drop before the process is unpleasant - they whisper.
- She cries, hmm... Like a corporate in a cafe, a young carrier in a polluted toilet can suck and then stand with cancer, holding his hands to the toilet, but from the youthful expressive and massive enthusiasm still rhythmically touching a drunk moustache in a damned glass without a cover... - the director thought intelligently about himself, focusing a bad look on the office manager, the thirty-year-old blonde Irina, but broke down the unworthy thoughts for the right manager and said:
Okay, I’ll talk to the guys... but it wasn’t here. This delegation desires necessarily and urgently that the corresponding order be issued by it.
- Oh, and in the register we will still register, and in the folder with the founding documents we will put, so that the laughing stomachs of the inspectors will explode... More than that. I solve this issue, go work... - added in a firm voice and opened the door of the office.

Many think that the job of the director of a trading company is only strategic and marketing plans to build, sales tactics to brush, financial reports to analyze and the like, but often fifty percent of the time is spent by the manager on such questions and little things in the life of the organization.

He gathered the male part of the team after work, to clarify the situation. He immediately wiped out the indignation and discontent:
Only when you drop the chair, you also drop the cover. They had to raise them anyway. And to not forget, remember such a sign or belief - such as that after a long open toilet, at home or in the office - no matter, financial well-being flows... - the idea was accepted even with some enthusiasm. A good leader is first and foremost a wise person. Formally and literally fulfilled the request of the female half of the team and at the same time did not offend the men, showing that he was entirely on their side in this female capricious.

But not here it was... A few days later a delegation of female deputies in the same composition appeared to him again:
- You tell them not to drop the cover along with the chair! “How did you get me,” thought the director, looking at the founder’s wife.
Can you say it yourself? Do you think I have nothing more to do? Only your nonsense to have fun... And tomorrow you will think that you have gotten the eardrum in your hands to take and let the Light after you clean the toilet, after every relief... - has seriously raised the voice.
Semenova and you too. At your department, the sales plan burns in a blue flame, and you only think of the toilet... and every day without five and six is already at a low start. March to work! And so that I personally don't get off the phone... - a good break in time so helps to switch attention...

Irina concealed a wicked outrage, but her husband did not complain, she understood that he would go away from such a question or would send far and deep because of the vicious male solidarity. But she began to drop slowly on her husband's brains, blowing up every problem or lack to universal scales. Everyone knows about the night cat.
And soon this founder raised the question: Star mol (50th was not yet) and tired like our Nikolaich. They no longer catch mice. Indicators are growing, but somehow sluggish and weak and the plan is not always executed. We would need a new director, young, ambitious and literate, with a diploma of the Top University and necessarily with an MBA (Master of Business Administration) course, a super-popper advanced, successful manager, and that all in the science of American commerce, advanced business and business.

We found that, of course. They were fascinated simply, and how beautifully he "song"..., what a cool manager he is and how he can organize everything correctly, and how he raised the previous company from his knees...
- And your lift... - the founders looked confused, turned out to be on their knees. Even words through one highly intelligent and advanced drive: sales promotion, duo-diligence, styling, benchmarking,..., and with a cool English pronunciation... Then it was quite new - the founders were far from stupid, and here ears hanged and listened, mouths opened.
In short, he had twice as much money as Nicholas had.

And now we are not employees, but business units. And not bonuses and bonuses, but KPIs, and they were always pronounced in full: "Key Performance Indicators." Not customers, but leaders and distributors, not planners in sales departments, but brainsales, not a staff member, but a coach partner and so on...

The first time the results really rose, especially in the wholesale department, salespeople, scared of the new meth, worked the second month for all 110%. And the net profit of the company increased, primarily due to a decrease in the salary fund (bonuses and premiums cut), cost reductions (revised boundaries and regulations for return of goods and warranty repairs), debit decreased (retrobonuses for customers for default delay began to be cancelled), free lunches cancelled and the like. The founders were pleased and what we used to...

And then it went worse and worse. The new director, although super smart, but stupid, and also active. I did not understand that any company relies, first of all, on time-tested personnel and dedicated customers, and not only on built-up business processes, regulations and motivation systems. In America it may be so, but “This is Russia, baby.”
The new director was absolutely unable to build relationships with people, and arrogance across the border, retailers, drivers and freighters in general held for the swallow. In the end, the key employees were fired or they themselves began to be fired. The same Semenov with a thunderstorm kicked out, as not knowing how to properly (according to the textbook) organize a sales wreck. Oh, and you try in our circumstances according to the letter of this multi-minded work from the Nobel laureate to do something normal...
One of the leading sellers went to the competitors and managed to take away a key customer, who was just about 10% of all wholesale sales. Or he himself offended when his personal discount was cut, for a delayed (first time!) Payment for 2 days.
The flow among the lower staff also broke, the salary then suddenly became very and very average in the market. Mostly the best specialists left. For more or less acceptable selection of new candidates, the staff of the staff department had to be doubled. Another Aitishnikov recruited, they wrote him a new and very voluminous SRM (Customer Relationship Management), the old why did not arrange. Probably the course of the Mongolian Tugrik did not take into account...))

Planners and meetings (something common he did) turned into a multi-hour show of a self-loving teterev, who does not hear anyone but himself. He was so overlooked and first nicknamed "Teterov", and then "Trend" (his favorite word) was fixed. Isn’t this the root of the word “trending”?
And I began to spend more and more time "in the fields", trying under all sorts of noble pretexts to skip such meetings, so it became boring there, listening for hours to these new-fashioned words, probably generally correct, but in excessively general and unconcrete reasoning. Immediately I arose, then meetings with tenants, then important negotiations in the bank on pricing for invoicing, then unplanned selective accounting in the store together with the manager... And I also understood and decided for myself that it was necessary to roll, although it is offensive - I worked for many years, and achieved and created a lot. And here was the reason...

I went somehow to the warehouse in the office of the head of the transport and warehouse department, we started working with him from the very foundation of the company. He asked for help, demanded from him Trend reports weekly in XL, yes, difficult, and with graphs clever to reflect there, and loads of machines, and calls of unloading points, and distance, and fuel consumption on each, and flight hours, and shoulders of logistics... And Vitaly in computer literacy, gently to say, was not very, and about the shoulders in general hears for the first time. But he dragged a crazy amount of work and held a very diverse and diverse collective in the iron fist: drivers, loaders and warehouses. And the routes were made, and the repair of the machines was organized, the reception of goods and shipments, the board and the road sheets were led and the warehouse records were conducted, the cleaning of the territory was also responsible, a lot of things... Better at least three positions combined.

He has one of the new айтишников in the office behind the comp, a low and full-heavy guy, and somehow he is unpleasant and outwardly unclean, with long planted hair, gathered on the back of the head in a bumpy bunch. And he had another ugly feature - he constantly bursting under his nose, but clearly enough that everyone heard.
- Cracked, stupid users... They have already got their debility... It’s just how you can be so stupid...
Do you tolerate it? I am already in Vitaly. He, as I realized, took something wrong on the compass in the park. He became red, his teeth crushed, but he remained silent.
– And I won’t... Let’s go, computer genius, with me... Here is not far... – with these words I took the aithishnik behind the not very clean neck and squeezed it tightly with my fingers, bending them like cloves. He whispered that it was you, but immediately gave up and I took him out.
He was scared not for a joke, he decided that it would not be childish to bite him now.
As in the immortal "Twelve Chairs" of Ilf and Petrov: "Here Pasha Emilievitch, who possessed a supernatural sensation, realized that now he would be beaten, even with his legs...", and I only, going out on the street, pointed to him, standing next to the warehouse, "Gazel".
Do you see the ashes?
I can’t hear!! Stronger and fingers stronger.
and y-jo...
He does not want to enter. You have 15 minutes to determine the cause. The keys to the castle... time has passed! I will be next door.

What does it mean that you do not know and do not know? stupid is it? Al Luther is stunned. Give me something as an excuse...
I pointed my hand to the office... He knows and knows, and a lot more, and something that you never dreamed in your worst dream. And if you are better at something, in your own, highly specialized - it does not mean that you are the smartest here, and the rest are fools... rather the opposite. Because others have much broader knowledge, skills, experience and tasks. And if I, again... or someone else... hear from you about stupid users... did you understand?
I understand... very quiet. We cried louder...
I can’t hear!!! to
I understand, I understand!

He understood nothing, and immediately ran to cry to Trend, I, you see, insulted him with his action. Oh, if I really wanted to hurt you, even by almost inaction, you would have run out now on the crackers, calling my mom and getting confused in the soples... Oh, in the army you would have learned how there are knockers...
Called into the office of Trend, I entered already with a written statement, what to listen to here and so everything is clear.
A week later, Vitaly resigned.

It is clear that there are no irreplaceable people and constantly recruited new employees, but it seems like the same and similar "doers" and "hand of drivers", and the company was gradually entering the scale, wholesale and retail revenue dropped significantly, almost half of the stores suddenly felt the bottom, somehow very easily passing down the "point of no loss". Expenditures on the fund for some reason increased by almost 15% (mainly at the expense of "non-producing" and administrative employees), but there were significant delays in payment to all. Naturally, "the people ran away", theft in warehouses, shortages in retail...
After some time, the founders finally grabbed, and after understanding it, they grabbed their heads... - and Trend with the scandal were expelled. Probably now somewhere again the company "raises off the knees"...)
What was successfully built over the years and brought profit, in less than six months went into a deep minus and began to literally collapse in front of the eyes. They tried to correct the situation, even more than a year, a whole group of steep anti-crisis managers (directors) happened, but the train seemed to have left.
Even between them the founders seriously fought up, up to the murder and threats to "wrap", it is understandable, one thing is to put profits in the pocket or develop new directions and projects, quite another - to calculate losses, constantly investing, like a black hole, from other sources.

The outcome is sad, but it turns out that the catastrophe started with nothing, with some ordinary and banal question about the rules of using the toilet! Like a snow lava with a small snowflake!

And I have had a very figurative, tangible and meaningful expression in my lexicon since then - "Stolchak Syndrome".