bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №80007
 10.04.2013
Morphine: Today, on the way to the universe, on the pedestrian crossing, I had to see this situation.
Morphine: two Tajiks approached a passenger, intelligent in sight, grandfather, ask them how to get to the Red Gate station.
Morphine: he listened carefully, showed the direction and spoke.
Morphine: here on the other side is Kazan Station, go there, buy a ticket to Dushanbe and fuck away from here!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №80006
 10.04.2013
I am not a coward, but still, spent a dofig of courage to get to know the girl, to write the first time "hello", then you still need to dare to call for a walk, then the courage is needed to kiss the first time, all this has passed...
I am not ready to meet her mother.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №80005
 10.04.2013
XXX: We’ll have to do it then.
Okay, Dmitry
My name is Dennis 😉
Sorry Dmitry

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №80004
 10.04.2013
I felt like a parasite hacker. The iPhone’s parents discovered a neighbor’s wireless network. Well, I am on the old line 1234... etc. I enter and OP is a contact. Checked the speed is not ice, although this operator has the speed at least several times higher. I entered the IP on the router and miraculously the password turned out to be the same. In the settings found the login and in Chrome checked the password under the stars. He entered the personal office and changed to a much faster tariff for the same money!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №80003
 10.04.2013
We sit down with my mom and draw her a scheme for a presentation there.
We paint them all in different colors and so on. In general, we get a quite durable pavilion in all the colors of the rainbow.
After an hour of work, we get to one extremely small detail that she wants to see in a dark red color.
On my argument that the detail is obviously very small and in composition with the black boundaries of the figure the color will not be different when printed, my mom gives just a brilliant phrase:
No matter what, we will print in black and white color anyway!
Mom, thank you for having you!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №80002
 10.04.2013
Rus and I read the "Summer" and read through every word of rust. Bella changes her clothes five times a day, spotting and crying. Then he cries again. and crying. and crying. and crying. In chapter 4, I realized: Stephanie Meyer read my diary, which I kept when I was 11 years old. There I also woke up, went to school, stumbled, cried and loved some kind of Vovu, who later became a pedicure.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №80001
 10.04.2013
Telephone call and loud communication:
Hello Adam?
Hello, and let it go.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №80000
 10.04.2013
Ksenia: What do you think Koreans will fuck or not fuck with a nuclear bomb?
I: Ahha, I don’t think they fuck, they just fuck.
Ksenia: Here we discussed the news of world politics)))

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №79999
 09.04.2013
I play with barbos (young taxi) "in the ball".

The essence of the game is that the taxi pulls the ball, you have to take this from it and throw it somewhere away, and since the taxi is young and hot, the ball is simply not picked out, and it is also crawling like a herd of very evil beasts.

I decided it was time to start teaching his teams, so I picked out the ball with the words "give" and "fu". And here we hang on the ball on two sides, I say to him "fu", and he "RRRRRRRRRRR".

Behind all this from the chair is very lazy watched by a cat - a huge Siberian. In the end, he gets bored of it, he gently jumps off the chair, approaches the taxi, gracefully pulls and lazyly releases the nails. The dog fearfully stumbled on him, immediately stopped ripping and undisputedly gave the ball.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №79998
 09.04.2013
From Lepra:

By the way, yes, I amnesia took to go as recommended by the developer, such as "play in headphones, then the better atmosphere you will feel". I realized that I felt the atmosphere in the middle of the third night in total darkness, when a child approached me from my back and laid his hand on his shoulder.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №79997
 09.04.2013
Do not judge us by kilograms, but you will not be judged by centimeters! and :)
If you could eat and pick up centimeters...
And someone else would fight with extra centimeters. So I imagine: "Soon is summer. Time for a diet. If I don't drop 25 centimeters - even on the beach don't show"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79996
 09.04.2013
“Knocking on Heaven's Door” in a car advertisement

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79995
 09.04.2013
The nightmare of the programmer: The client * knows * how to write better.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79994
 09.04.2013
Nine years old!!! The girl tries 18 T-shirts, 12 shirts and four dresses and runs for 45 minutes.

Thank you to my mom for raising another TP.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №79993
 09.04.2013
Yesterday before work I had time to prepare breakfast for Artem.I come home, I ask:
Did you like breakfast?
"Yes, and I'm almost not even angry that your ex's page is opened on my computer.
Tagged: fucking
Who is declared a fool of the day?
Tagged: bubble
Ivan Urgant opens the envelope...

Stop the ceremony!

by Masha Ivanova!
Yippidy yi yi yippity yay!

WOW: Congratulations

I would like to thank my intellect for this Nargrad. "Thank you, dear, for not burdening me with your presence! It is"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №79992
 09.04.2013
Gasoline cannot be expensive indefinitely. tk. Someday its price will reach the cost of the same.
Riding on a self-driving car will be more profitable and nobody will buy gasoline. Everyone will drive a selfie.
But there is one nuance. If you push the sameon, you will not pour it into the gasoline tank. You are not a fool to ruin yourself. You will drink it. You will not go anywhere.
There will be no cars on the streets.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №79991
 09.04.2013
"We, the factory specialists "N", believe that the most important resource in any laboratory is the people. Therefore, for many years we have been engaged in the development and production of metal laboratory furniture, drawers and equipment of the highest quality.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №79990
 09.04.2013
Hello people as a game? I am new here)
Hi, play the game, play the game.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №79989
 09.04.2013
Yesterday I suddenly took part in charity.
Lost the money?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №79988
 09.04.2013
The problem of two brothers (an unexpected decision).
Ivan: if you apply the theories of curvature of space and time, then depending on the location and speed of the brother, the answer can be any.
At the age of 3, he flew to the constellation of Orion in the direction of Betelgeuse at the speed of light.
He is about 40 years old, and if he accelerates above the speed of light when his brother is 200, he will hit 42.
And he will not be able to fly to Bethelgeuse anyway because it seems to me that yesterday it exploded and created a giant black hole (in 639 years I will buy a telescope and observe this phenomenon).
Andron: Breathe out, take a bath, breathe out.

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